This reads like an acid trip, I sort of like it. Last stanza especially is quite evocative.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
The first stanza sounded familiar. Did you have that in another poem?
I loved the reference to music as Crysi said and the imagery was good as TBR said, but when it comes to reading the poem, I was having a hard time because I'm a speed-reader, and you can't speed-read this at all and it really got hard because the poem is so long. But somehow you managed to keep my attention so I guess it was good after all.
like all your work this was no acception to confuzzling.... but it gave good imagery. weird imagery though:
aluminum cans crushed by a tire—no.
They sounded human, like laughter, longing,
a couple jogging through a percussive rain,
and as I listened, they grew louder, thousands
of small disks echoing one voice, words
yeah, this was me favorite creepy stanza... so yay....
but i also liked the very beginning as well... that was good.
Brad, it's so amazing to see the transformation of style you go through. I absolutely love this, with all the references to music and sound and... It's just absolutely brilliant. Great job, yet again.