Wishgranter

       From the horizon tall building that pierce the cerulean blue sky is visible.The world have modernised a lot after thousand and thousand of years researching and upgraping their life.Alchemist,physicist,neurologist,caridiologist and even dentist whose already devoted their life in order to make the world a better place to live.How does all of this happen?What course in the history that turn the mankind from praying to god for help into a selfish human who just forgot their place but still succeed?Believe it or not..all of this is center at one person...a single person who has cross upon the boundary between god and human...a person who the god himself despise and have been cut from all of his destiny.The person is force to walk the earth until the Day of Judgement.Well how does that happened to him??That;s another story...right now let's focus on the present day.On the vast arid wasteland a couple kilometres from the glorious and famed city of Historia,a young man clad in a long jet black trench coat.Underneath the coat are a light plate armor that is almost blood red but with a tinge of darkness that can be seen under the pale moonlight.the face is covered with a helmet which remind of the knight from the Old Kingdom.At the back of the head a shoulder length hair which is a combination of black and grey are visible.Anyone that look at this figure right now would ran as if the devil himself was aftering him.It was intimidating as a shadowbeast.The figure stop his track while looking at the tall skyscrapper a few kilometre in front of him.

"Just a little bit more.It's about time for me to settle down from this mess.Gonna get myself a job and a house."said him in a voice that has a little hope.

"This curse or whatever the hell that shackled me could go to hell."he said in an anger filled voice.

After the small rambling he started his journey to the city back.

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kaitlyn
Review

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

Anyway let's get right to it,

From the horizon tall building that pierce the cerulean blue sky is visible.The world have modernised a lot after thousand and thousand of years researching and upgraping their life.Alchemist,physicist,neurologist,caridiologist and even dentist whose already devoted their life in order to make the world a better place to live.How does all of this happen?What course in the history that turn the mankind from praying to god for help into a selfish human who just forgot their place but still succeed?Believe it or not..all of this is center at one person...a single person who has cross upon the boundary between god and human...a person who the god himself despise and have been cut from all of his destiny.The person is force to walk the earth until the Day of Judgement.Well how does that happened to him??That;s another story...right now let's focus on the present day.On the vast arid wasteland a couple kilometres from the glorious and famed city of Historia,a young man clad in a long jet black trench coat.Underneath the coat are a light plate armor that is almost blood red but with a tinge of darkness that can be seen under the pale moonlight.the face is covered with a helmet which remind of the knight from the Old Kingdom.At the back of the head a shoulder length hair which is a combination of black and grey are visible.Anyone that look at this figure right now would ran as if the devil himself was aftering him.It was intimidating as a shadowbeast.The figure stop his track while looking at the tall skyscrapper a few kilometre in front of him.

"Just a little bit more.It's about time for me to settle down from this mess.Gonna get myself a job and a house."said him in a voice that has a little hope.

"This curse or whatever the hell that shackled me could go to hell."he said in an anger filled voice.

After the small rambling he started his journey to the city back.


Welll...this was interesting, at first glance it sounds like we've got ourselves a really cool premise here, but before I get to that I do spot a major issue in formatting here right at the very start of this piece here...and that is the fact this first paragraphs needs to at the very least be split into two parts if not more here or it is a jumble of a couple of ideas that don't flow very well together at all.

Towards the end, the speech is also a bit weird, cause it sounds like you've used two separate paragraphs to show him talking to himself there, which is a little bit on the weirder side of things and doesn't seem right either.

Moving towards the content of this prologue here, that's done much better here. You've got a pretty interesting premise there of a god like being forcefully chained and cursed to walk the world, and as a side effect of all of that the world has developed into a bit of a dystopia almost by the sounds of the description at the start. All in all, that could certainly be a pretty powerful story here if done right. It certainly seems to be something I'd potentially read here.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry



Lily you are my fig father
— Elliebanana