Who's a nut?

I really liked this poem until you used the f word. That was completely uncalled for. In my opinion using that word ruined your piece. I hate to sound harsh, but it seems to me that folks these days feel like they need to use strong language just to sound tough or make some kind of point. The truth is that you can sound just as powerful and make clear points in many other ways- ways that won't make you look stupid or distort the way others see you and your work.

I don't really get the point of this poem, especially the last line. I think you need to rewrite this.

Greetings I'm LastPaladin and I shall be your reviewer for today. Case point forced comedy is never funny, but I shall explain on this further. I warn you my reviews are often harsh but meant to be constructive and not a personal attack on the writer. We shall begin.

Where to begin? This was about as funny as being pulled out a meat grinder while being pulled in. And that would at least kill you, this here treats it all like comical prank. No matter how many times repeat the word doesn't make it any funnier neither does writing it all in caps. So what you're a Nut explain why, give us a flipping reason to care. Because that's essentially the issue at hand, I don't care if you're Bob the Builder coming out the closet right now, you have no imagery no emotion to speak of and seems like something written like you don't care. The amount of emotion invested in this piece could give a nanite a bath. It really doesn't seem like you care. No imagery, no subtle metaphors or beautiful stunning vibes. It's just from point A to point B.

Comedy requires one that the readers care, two the writer cares, three it's actually written to interest and finally that they wanna hear the end of the joke. As for me, I vote neither.

Overall: Give me heart, give me investment, at least then can give ya advice. You have left me with nothing, I can't even call this contrived, it just looks like it doesn't care.

Haha, funny, but got to admit it that it does sound like a vent. Try again with the venting and you could find something that feels right and maybe if you want it to be, can be really mean.

This isn't that creative. Its not rhymed or special. Honestly it needs a lot of work...

Mikko' here! (Pointe and I have a joined user).
Anyway, yes, it's true that it is comical but it is not too creative. Don't get me wrong. It's not bad.
But I don't get it, and I especially don't get the last line.

Ok, that's all from me,
Happy writing.

pointe2mikko

I found this kind of comical reading this inside my head. (Not meaning offense) This sounds more like a venting to me but I'm not a professional writer (none of us really are) and to me, this didn't seem have much flow. Don't get me wrong, I do like the idea of the last word repeated. But this poem for me atleast seemed to lack flow and didn't go so great together. It seemed rushed and too short, also with the added "fuck" made me question what it was about. Try adding some words together that sound good when you read them, it might turn out a bit better.

Hope that helps in any way possible

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