Published August 25, 2011
Wet red eyes and a self conscious look away, a glittering glimpse into the dark side she harbours behind those lids.
Shaken.
Stitched.
Sore and sewn shut.
Sheepishly she breaks contact from a gaze or locked glance, but her body language gives her away.
Angular.
Strong.
Sharp and composed.
But too sly and too smooth to be seen.
You see her nervous lashes bat like fans in the heat,
But behind them lurks a beast.
She moves like a predator stalking her kill, the taste of the blood on her lips. She disguises her intent with a brush of her hair hanging soft and limp by her cheek.
She doesn’t yet know where her instincts will lead to so she strings you along on a whim. Like a cat with a mouse she toys with your feelings without a touch of regret for her sins.
Innocent and unaware. Darling, if you knew what ruin your whispers could bring.
An adventure to a narcotic curiosity, she slips close and holds her warmth firm to your skin, she guides her lips to rest upon yours, delivering a kiss more deadly than the urge that it brings.
Breathless.
Confused.
Lost for words or concern.
She smiles. She turns. She walks away,
Leaving only a trail of white lotus petals in her wake.
The fragrant aroma of her hair hangs around my front door,
The taste of her lips remains mine forevermore.
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138,927 Literary Works • 672,328 Reviews
Helluee! I love the content of this, it's so touching and you're way with words is amazing! The structure though... it's not very poetical and it doesn't give space for a rythm and therefore it feels more like reading an outline of text rather than a poem! Try forming stanzas and bring structure to this and I think it will be much better, there's nothing from with the content though, it's really, very AMAZING! I love the end line, so sad yet romantic!
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
*i mean first paragraph starting with second line
i've got to say this is a very unique and strong poem.the emotions, the words,how things seemed vivid from the start and it jusf fully had my attention. the first couple of lines to the beginning of second stanza were a little sloppy or jumbled off but it was a great poem!
This is one of the most strange beautiful pieces on here! The structure is unique and works well to increase the fluidity and significance to your words. It is such a breathe of fresh air to not be struggling to read a poem and have it just roll off your tongue naturally. The introduction is very vivid and expands only more and more imagery through out the piece!
Lost for words or concern.
She smiles. She turns. She walks away,
Leaving only a trail of white lotus petals in her wake.
The fragrant aroma of her hair hangs around my front door,
The taste of her lips remains mine forevermore.
Your ending is dynamite man! You are a poetry rock star! Keep it up!