Rosa and Ginger

You're off to a good start! The pacing emotionally is decent, and you've picked something worth talking about.

However, I must say, taken on its own this poem doesn't make much sense. It appears that it's meant to be based off the movie Ginger and Rosa, but all you do is note that it's inspired by a movie. It's alright to draw inspiration from a movie, but you should make it stand on its own.

As it is, concepts seem to come up from nowhere with no context. I've not seen the movie, so I assume all of these have connections, and indeed you've noted some of them, but from the typical reader's perspective, you start with something about a dream of friendship, comparing this strangely with the apocalyptic feelings of people living under the CMC, but soon segue into some unknown offense Rosa committed against you.

You then talk about your mother being at death's door, and connect this to your ability to meet your friend again(?), then describing shortly this Rosa's contrasting sentimentality towards love and explaining that you have forgiven her already, two apparently unrelated topics.

In addition, I'm unsure why you say that Ginger will forgive Rosa anyway, if there is in fact nothing to forgive. I'm just guessing here, but if what you mean is that she won't even care about what happened with the relief of being free of this dread, and will be very willing to relieve Rosa of her guilt by forgiving her, then you should more specifically describe that.

As I said, it's quite alright to draw inspiration from a movie, but I would definitely recommend taking into account your poem without the exposition and introduction of the movie, so that it's only inspired by the movie, not leaning on it. If you want to introduce all these different concepts, the poem should be much longer and allow the reader to have an idea of what's going on, even if you leave things to the imagination. Alternatively, and probably more effectively, you could abstract things more, focusing on the overall themes and talking about a few central ideas rather than summarizing the movie as it seems you're trying to do here.

Also, what rhymes you've made are alright! But, you don't rhyme consistently throughout the whole thing, which feels odd. In fact, in poems you'll often want to reword the odd accidental rhyme as it'll stick out and make things feel uneven. Your rhymes also feel a bit forced. That is, sentences feel unnatural because you've altered them significantly just to allow for your rhyme.

Not all poems need to rhyme! In fact, it can often detract from the poem unless done expertly, making a serious topic feel like a Dr. Seuss story. Feel free to experiment with strings of words that simply sound beautiful without worrying about rhymes, and express your ideas in novel and satisfying ways. In addition, if you are to rhyme, imperfect rhymes often sound smoother and more beautiful than perfect rhymes to avoid again the Dr. Seuss feeling. A perfect rhyme like cat and bat is what you use throughout, while an example of an imperfect rhyme would be, say, car and mall, or mat and dad, woke and hope, wall and will. They're close to a perfect rhyme, but not quite.

Nonetheless, this is promising, and I'm sure with focus you can only get better! I hope to see more from you.

In general i liled this poem a lot. The rhyming scheme was good. And it gave the reader pleasure while reading. The thing that i did not understand was -
1- who was the speaker in the poem.
2 -what is the situation or condition in wich the conversation took place.
3 -what was the relarion of the 2 people.
But ir is okay if you did not write these things in the poem because they are not necessary. I am just asking these questions due to personal curiosity. In all it is a really good poem and is worth a read. Great job . i hope to read more of tour poems.keep it up.

*tears up*. I loved it. Sounds like when the war or something was going on. But the emotion in the poem is really telling how about one feels about the other. The forgiving her if they live through the night or not. That’s what true friends are. I also love poems that rhyme as well.