irony

I'm going to be honest. I don't get it but I love it. In a way I understand what you trying to say and I really enjoyed this piece. I love this line: "but it happens, anyway, just to tickle you pink." I laughed a little bit. This is a good piece and your a good poet!! Can't wait to read more!

I think you should change the word "mean" in the first paragraph to "meant"..as in, the words have already been spoken. More so, such a riddling tone is offset by the words "tickle me pink". It's adorable, but I there there are different words you can use to show this comparison.

when you finally see the words they mean,

maybe you'll learn to fit in the box they made.

and when you go along with the lines they said

thinking too deep, talking too much, being too good,

show and tell the evidence, so they understand.



funny, in a way, but still not exactly-

a synonym, if you believe in such things.

it is something not supposed to be,

but it happens, anyway, just to tickle you pink.



when you finally see the words they wrote,

maybe you'll learn what they mean, not what they say.

maybe you'll find that you love the definition.


Excellent!!!!

hi there! i know i wrote this ages ago, but i am thinking of sending this into a competition and could use all the critiques/comments! if anyone would like to help, i'd be extremely grateful. =)

Mmmh I liked it up to the ending. I was kinda exspecting a bigger finale, you know? More punch is needed here IMHO. Maybe you could work on that. Otherwise, great work.

Simple, but I liked it.