Published March 29, 2005
(b)(i) it won't work right, (/i)(/b)
(u) i thought i had it all figured out. (/u)
nothing flows the way it's supposed to,
and it's all (i) so confusing. (/i)
(i) your mouth moves (/i)
like you're trying to explain something,
but all i hear from you
and see on this stupid computer screen
(u) is a bunch of gibberish. (/u)
i couldn't get your attention before,
(b) do you hear me now? (/b)
(i) can you see me trying to impress you? (/i)
(u) then do you watch me fail? (/u)
(b)(i)(u) are you sick of me yet?? (/b)(/i)(/u)
i'm trying to comprehend what you said,
trying to respond.
(b)(i)(u) do you care at all?!?! (/b)(/i)(/u)
[ can't you see
that i just want you
to notice me? ]
[ can't you do that,
even though
i'm just a less-than-average
face in your crowd? ]
maybe i should just give up
oh
that's how it works.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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141,465 Literary Works • 674,483 Reviews
I just have to say that this is one of the coolest ideas ever! I would never have thought to use HTML in a poem. Great job.
i got it (i hope!). very smart, you make me jealous.
the actual POEM didn't blow me away, although it was good. a little simple, a little bare. maybe it had to be though, for the idea to show through. but the HTML part is so smart so well thought out.
yeah, i like.
Oh. Whoops. It should be HTML. I have no clue what that (or URL) stands for, truthfully. Heh. But it's the junk behind websites and stuff, like underlining and stuff. The text was supposed to be like that. It was kind of the literal part of the poem, the I can't figure out this HTML stuff! part.
Yeah... Thanks for the comment.
mmh...
Interesting. I probably could have understood it a whole lot better had I known anything about computers (if this poem has anything to do about computers ... How stupid do I sound right now?), and especially what "URL" stands for.
But, for what it's worth from me and my mediocre computer knowledge, I liked it, and I could relate to it really well.
Was the text supposed to be like that?