PLEASE DON'T MISUNDERSTAND WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY.
Please read through this review completely and try to understand...
While I love this and see the truth in it, (and the beauty in your meaning) it just doesn't seem like a poem.
Don't take this the wrong way, it's a splendidly realistic piece that makes you think twice about everything that is going on in the world (and everything we complain about) but it's not poetic.
It seems like a speech or a rant. Like you're just listing things that are going wrong in our world today. Like, "this is happening, and this, and this, and this." Instead of taking your talent as a poet and putting it in a form/ style that people can't just turn away from saying "yeah yeah, I know."
You bring a beautiful creation to the table. I do think it is perfect in its own way. But if you're going to pass it as a poem... try to add a poetic feel to it.
Please don't hate me. I feel horrible already.
But truthfully, if this were passed off as a speech, I would applaud.
Or a rant, I'd agree to.
But as a poem... It lacks the emotion poetry usually has. I'm well aware that there is indeed a poetry style that is very similar to this piece. But even in that category of poetry, it lacks the beauty it deserves.
Poems are a mysterious thing. I am no where close to a full understanding. Just please understand the point I'm trying to make.
Again, I'm sorry if I come off badly.
I really do love the point you've made.
Good Luck To You...
and please don't hate me.
Points: 2833
Reviews: 70
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