z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Why I cannot Write

by emilia9ludenberg


The only way, I can find myself in comprendo

is to peruse the works o' my mind, backwards.

For the oceanic abyss, is thy heart's de facto

And my soul, eternally wayward.

***

How I long to capture sublime sonnets,

cascading down waterfalls, enclosed in beguiling melodies.

But neither the water mark, nor the siren's bonnet,

E'er faces the absurd pessimism, o' my tearful remedies.

***

Ridiculous. She hath failed us all,

for simplicity averted her eyes, and the gift o' genies

withdrew thy tainted wishes, and t'was a fiery brawl.

And it was only natural; the sirens were merely "meanies"- 

***

How mature. Cannot e'en write convincing prose,

Which contain'd no hidden lockets,

that guarded the cascades, o' thy pitiful woes.

Too vague, too wrought with shame, which I could ne'er

submerge, e'en in my finest sea-rockets.

***

Stupidity is rife. And neither I, nor thy, 

are any worthy exception.

I gaze into the oceanic abyss, wondering why we really write

For thee and I an infinity futile, o' any tangible conception

And the sirens were always right...


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
105 Reviews


Points: 10130
Reviews: 105

Donate
Fri Sep 01, 2023 11:51 am
View Likes
alpacaboss wrote a review...



Why can't you write when you've churned out something that is akin to the language of Shakespeare and easily understandable at the same time? If you say your writer's block is like a dried spring, my type of writer's block will be the Sahara Desert! My point is that you did well in this poem. And I shall grant myself the pleasure to review your poem and give it sweet release from the Green Room.

The only way, I can find myself in comprendo

is to peruse the works o' my mind, backwards.

For the oceanic abyss, is thy heart's de facto

And my soul, eternally wayward.


From my understanding, you constantly find yourself in an oceanic abyss, drowning and sinking. Your soul sways with the waves, not knowing where it will find itself next. The only way, perhaps a desperate attempt, that you can find yourself afloat is through perusing the works you've made from the latest to the oldest. Going on a trip down memory lane, quite backwards.

How I long to capture sublime sonnets,

cascading down waterfalls, enclosed in beguiling melodies.

But neither the water mark, nor the siren's bonnet,

E'er faces the absurd pessimism, o' my tearful remedies.


What a beautiful way to describe writer's block. I'm serious. Ideas crafted into realities are some of the most satisfying things for us writers. It is like finding a golden needle in a haystack. While we do that, we tend to create remedies that cope up with the feeling that keep us writers "high". Thinking of a brilliant idea and finishing it.


Ridiculous. She hath failed us all,

for simplicity averted her eyes, and the gift o' genies

withdrew thy tainted wishes, and t'was a fiery brawl.

And it was only natural; the sirens were merely "meanies"-


This poem relies heavily on the themes of the ocean and the way you use it is wonderful! I could only assume that the words in italics are the whispers and taunts of the sirens and you are rightly trying to ignore it. The addition of sirens adds an interesting aspects to your richly written poem.

How mature. Cannot e'en write convincing prose,

Which contain'd no hidden lockets,

that guarded the cascades, o' thy pitiful woes.

Too vague, too wrought with shame, which I could ne'er

submerge, e'en in my finest sea-rockets.


I'm not sure but I felt this entire stanza needs to be italicized. I don't get why the last two lines were not italicized as they seemed incredibly mean. Still, the sirens are so mean, but this can also mean our own selves criticizing us for not doing a good job, comparing oneself to others bringing oneself deeper to the depths.


Stupidity is rife. And neither I, nor thy,

are any worthy exception.

I gaze into the oceanic abyss, wondering why we really write

For thee and I an infinity futile, o' any tangible conception

And the sirens were always right...


HAHAHHA YES. Stupidity is something every human being experiences I believe. We've all done stupid choices (I'm saying this in the context where someone would look at what you've done and say yeah that's stupid) But the author seems to agree with the sirens as she drowns further into the deepest depths of their sorrow, paralyzed and unable to write.

Overall, your poem is wonderful! This possesses such descriptive, rich, and decadent prose. Admittedly some of your poems can be hard to digest at first, but I find it enjoyable when I'm able to dissect and unearth what your poem means. Keep it up!

This is alpacaboss, signing off.



Random avatar


Aw thank you so much! Personally I didn't think this made a load of sense, but I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it and found your interpretation very intriguing. I tried to prioritise imagery and... Actual prose over just an absolute 20 page mess of a lecture (e
g., Antipathies- which I have rewritten entirely and published.)

Anyways yeah, thanks for your review :)
Emilia


Random avatar


Well I say entirely, but not really- I have mainly spilt it up into a collection of poems, with a bit more imagery and a sort of plot that echoes throughout each poem



alpacaboss says...


That's cool! I guess all student writers have written during a boring lecture once in a while. (I've done it...a tad too many times)
Glad to see writing as an avenue for you hehe



User avatar
229 Reviews


Points: 9163
Reviews: 229

Donate
Mon Jul 31, 2023 9:07 pm
View Likes
foxmaster wrote a review...



Foxmaster here for a review!
This work automatically called to me, about writers block (which I have, too.) You have great imagery here, and I loved it, but your style of writing was somewhat confusing for me, and I had trouble understanding it unfortunately.
Overall, though, from what I understood of this, you segmented this well, and this... (I'm a beginner at poetry, so I'm just gonna with sections, because I dunno the technical name for it,) section was well written and described really well:

How I long to write beautiful sonnets,

cascading down waterfalls, enclosed in beguiling melodies.

But neither the water mark, nor the siren's bonnet,

E'er faces the absurd pessimism, o' my tearful remedies.

The description here was wonderful, and I could picture the water descriptions perfectly here.
And I suppose it was only natural; the sirens were merely "meanies"

I really liked this sentence here, and it seemed like the most casual line here.
But, I don't really understand the part with the sirens here, and the italic parts here was the sirens speaking? Could you explain that for me?
But I really liked this and you're really good at poetry. Also, if you're looking for something to review, I would say some of work :)
-Foxmaster
This review courtesy of
Image



Random avatar


Hello, thank you so much for your review!
I'm glad you found this relatable and enjoyed it loads :)
Yes, the italics are the sirens speaking, and the purpose of that is essentially what the other user's comment said; they are reprimanding/acting as a foil to the persona's work by putting it down.
And yes, I will happily review some of your work, in due course.



foxmaster says...


thanks for explaining it to me :)



User avatar
542 Reviews


Points: 41664
Reviews: 542

Donate
Mon Jul 31, 2023 7:48 pm
View Likes
Liminality says...



Neat water imagery here! I liked the back-and-forth between the "oceanic" and the freshwater motifs. It's also interesting how you've spun the mythology of sirens, who are usually described as 'luring' sailors to their doom, to more of a chorus implied to personify the speaker's self-doubt.



Random avatar


Thank you! I tried to make this easier to understand, and to actually include some nice, natural imagery (for once), so I am glad it worked out. :)


Random avatar
Tilletta says...


It's great that you understand the meaning of this story #F3F3F3 ">cubes 2048


Random avatar


Sorry, I don't understand, but thank you anyways!




I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.
— Pablo Neruda