education is important.
yes, education is important.
but why does it seem like
the only students that do well
are the ones whose brains
work in a logical way?
education is important.
yes, education is important.
but explain to me why i
can’t seem to think the same thoughts,
the “right” thoughts,
like they can?
education is important.
yes, education is important.
but please, explain why
i am expected to learn
the same way as millions
of other students?
education is important.
yes, i understand,
but why do you preach
that we should be individuals
but stick us into one group
and watch so many of us fail?
education is important.
then why?
why do you set most of us up
for failure?
education is only important
when you’re the one that excels at it.
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Canary word: Present
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140,213 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
Sigh.... Why is this so relatable?
So, first off, I really like the was you structured this, especially the never ending "education is important"
It makes it feel.... Realistic? It makes it feel way better? I think you get what I mean. Let's say it that way.
I mean it's kinda annoying when people turn a blind eye to the education system even though it's so flawed alll over the world.
"why do you preach
that we should be individuals
but stick us into one group
and watch so many of us fail?"
That is just so true. I don't understand why .
Overall, I really like the way you wrote this, especially how you separated
"that we should be individuals
but stick us into one group
and watch so many of us fail?"
I can really FEEL the emotion because of the way you wrote this, definitely a job well done.
On a side note, here are some suggestions:
"but why does it seem like
the only students that do well"
I feel like the "like" fits in the flow more if you put it like this:
but why does it seem
like the only students that do well
But this is more of a personal preference rather than a nitpick, I don't have any nitpicks for you.
thank you for the review! I definitely struggle in school because I'm not very good at logical thinking and I think more creatively which is why I wrote this
I'm glad it's relatable!
I can relate 100%
Sorry! I don’t know what happened with the autocorrect in my reply. I’m sure you know what I mean though.
This is really good. I like the way it is set up. It makes it really obvious that it is a conversation and I agree with the points you make about education.
However, the entire thing is lowercase which makes it very difficult to read. There is also hardly any punctuation which makes it even harder to read. If I were you, I would go through this and edit the punctuation and grammar and things. That would make it much easier to read and I would probably enjoy it more.
I like the points, though, and it’s a very good piece. I like it!
the lowercase is my own personal style, but I will go back and make sure all my punctuation is correct
thanks!
Ok
That%u2019s good to hear. Lowercase makes it harder to read. You%u2019re welcome! I enjoyed reviewing this one.
This is pretty amazing. First off, I completely agree with what you’re saying about the education system.
I like the way the poem is set up visually. It is very clear that it’s a sort of conversation, with one side just repeating the same thing over and over again, no matter what the other side says or asks. Which is extremely accurate to real-life conversations on the subject.
One thing, most of the poem is entirely lowercase, with the sole exception of the first two lines in that last stanza. Is there a reason they are grammatically correct concerning capitalization, while the rest isn’t? I feel like maybe it’s to make them stand out a bit, but I can’t figure out why you would want those two lines to stand out.
Anyways, keep up the good work!
the capitalization of those two lines was a mistake haha, but thanks!!
This is pretty amazing. First off, I completely agree with what you’re saying about the education system.
I like the way the poem is set up visually. It is very clear that it’s a sort of conversation, with one side just repeating the same thing over and over again, no matter what the other side says or asks. Which is extremely accurate to real-life conversations on the subject.
One thing, most of the poem is entirely lowercase, with the sole exception of the first two lines in that last stanza. Is there a reason they are grammatically correct concerning capitalization, while the rest isn’t? I feel like maybe it’s to make them stand out a bit, but I can’t figure out why you would want those two lines to stand out.
Anyways, keep up the good work!