I stared around the blank apartment, I’d been here so many times before; Chicago, New Jersey, Virginia. It’s all the same to me. Most people would see this as a fresh start, a new city to explore. Not me, I’ve mucked up the ‘clean state’ too many times for it to be wiped immaculately clean. My relationship with my father has always been ‘strained’ to put it simply. He’s a lawyer, paid to lie and argue. $200 dollars an hour to do what he’s best at, $200 dollars to do what drove mom away, $200 dollars to wreck my life ten times over.
I’ve seen more of dad’s girlfriends come and go than i’ve seen billboards in Times Square this week. After his dazzling description, you’d expect me to be a naive 14 year old girl, bitter about her parents breakup. That is most definitely not me, I’m 17 and only living with my dad because he ensures that money is not a problem. He doesn’t question my life choices so I’ve learnt not question his. I say that, the only rule I have had enforced upon me, is no boyfriend. For the most part, it hasn’t been a problem. The ice queen bravado has warned most of them off, and those who questioned the act, were quickly disregarded by yours truly. I just applied more dark lipstick and pretended nothing had happened.
I saw the note dad left “Therapist @ 9:30 on west 54th. Don’t be late.” I pondered if this therapist would tell me anything new,after you've been to as many shrinks as I have, they all blend into one long boring blur. I glanced at my slender frame in the mirror,and was greeted by a sullen expression. Black eyeliner, black coat, black ripped jeans, black cami, probably black soul. Perfect. I scrawled "CAN'T WAIT " on the note, before slamming my way out the apartment.
The room was nearly as exciting as our apartment, grey carpet, brown chairs and an overwhelming sense of depression. Yup. Just like home. Only with motivational posters, I bit back a groan as I read one stating positive thinking can save the world.”Positive things happen to positive people.” Yeah, right. After noticing layers of coats and jumpers materializing on the floor, I noticed a figure slumped in the corner.
"Nice outfit, who's funeral are you attending?" An unfamiliar voice called across the room.
"Haven't decided yet.”
"Easy tiger, what are you writing there?"
"Poetry."
"About the beautiful stranger you met in the waiting room?"
"Well I'm not romanticizing your dirt brown eyes."
I finally looked up at the figure across the room, who did indeed, have dirt brown eyes. He smirked at my startled expression,
"I don't need romanticizing Angel, I mean look at me," he said. My blood burned, Angel? Who the hell was this guy?
"Angel?"
He grinned.
"Yeah, angel. All cool on the outside, a softie on the inside, I know your type darling."
I took a deep breath, I wasn't going to let this one get to me.
"So, you're in here for delusional thinking? That's a shame." I said, voice laced with snark, "How'd you reach that conclusion love?"
"Well, that you think your personality doesn't inspire suicide and that I actually want to share the same air as you, let alone a conversation," I said sweetly, I watched with vindictive satisfaction as the smirk slid from his face, however my heart sunk as a bright grin lot his face.
"I was wrong, you're actually alright. So tiger, wanna ditch the shrink?"
Twenty minutes later, I was strolling through the electric streets of midtown Manhattan with a complete stranger. His name was Josh.My earlier deduction was correct, he was in fact an asshole, with a wicked sense of humor.
"I can't believe you set your science room on fire!" I laughed
"It was an accident! I left the gas on!" He protested,
"So, what were you in for?"
"I am 'anti-social with trust issues,'" I said, quoting my last therapist.
He snorted, "You? Anti-social? Shocking."
"Ha. You're funny, thinking of going into comedy?"
"Of course, you provide great material."
That stunned me, I wasn't offended, but I'd never met anyone just as sarcastic as I was, who could keep up, with the thoughts that rushed through my veins just like a bullet in my brain.
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139,259 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
My first impression as I clicked this link was that I'd be reading yet another low-class, highly emblematic representation of a teenager in angst. But what I got was a surprise. Not only was it authentic, but it lacked the mind-numbing charisma of so many other emotional stories. All in all, I loved this piece. It was a clear demonstration of good writing and good understanding of the subject. It couldn't have been written better and with more clarity even if you tried. The only thing I would suggest to this writer is to focus on use of semi-colons; there were some parts that lacked this aspect of grammar. I don't know if that was intentional, but it was slightly distracting for me as I am very meticulous on grammatical mistakes. I applaud this writer with all that I've got! You will love reading this story, even if you don't enjoy the depressive nature of the subject!
Hello! Here as requested
(Sorry for the delay!)
I read a lot of young adult fiction, and snarky, sarcastic protagonists are some of my absolute favorites. I loooove the attitude. And I thought this felt really authentic. I think some people try too hard with snarky/sarcastic and it sounds really over-produced and cliche. (Not the case here). I don't know your MC's name (kinda want to...) but I love her already! 
I'll start with some of the things I liked.
The voice in this is great. I see that you're also 17, so that probably helps
Structure wise, I think you can add more. This is your first chapter and first chapters are really important. You need to reel your reader in, excite them, and then leave them wanting more so they keep reading.
Here, you start with an info-dump. An info-dump is when you devote a paragraph or more that is just back story and/or information about the characters/world. They're a really easy trap to fall into, especially at the beginning of a story, because you want your reader to understand certain things before the story gets started. But the thing is, they're often not that exciting to read, and a lot of that information can come out in the story later through showing. It's more effective that way because the reader gets to see it and experience it right alongside the characters. Maybe we could see the dad come in with a woman and then in another scene he's with a different woman, and then the narrator could mention that this is a really common occurrence with him. Stuff like that gives the character information and those background details more context, so the reader is more likely to internalize it.
The other thing I would recommend is slowing this waaay down. You've started us off with some nice content and action with the MC going to see her therapist and then meeting this boy (who I'm guessing is going to become a friend and/or love interest?). But I think all of it could be expanded.
It jumps from her receiving the note from her dad to her being in the waiting room. How did she get there? What does she see along the way? And then in this waiting room - how many other people are there? Does she have to check in at the front desk? Are there tables with magazines? Does she read anything other than the posters she doesn't like? She mentioned she's writing poetry when she starts talking to the boy, but I don't remember her taking out a notebook.
I thought the interchange between her and the boy was good and felt authentic. (At times I wasn't quite sure who was speaking - you could add more dialogue cues).
I would elaborate on why she decided to leave with this boy she just met. What was going through her mind? Did she miss her therapy appointment because of it? Will there be repercussions? Does she usually arrive early enough for her appointment that she has to wait for 20 minutes, or did the appointment before her run long? And then when she leaves with them, all of that happens very fast. I want to know how she learns his name and how she decided that he actually is "an asshole with a wicked sense of humor".
One other little thing that is sort of a pet-peeve of mine and probably wouldn't bother someone else... She said that she's "anti-social with trust issues". A clinical diagnosis of "anti-social" doesn't mean what it sounds like. It doesn't mean that she's just not good with people and generally doesn't like people and interacting with people because she's a surly teenager. When I hear "anti-social" I think anti-social personality disorder which is a pretty serious disorder. These people repeatedly break the law, lie or are deceitful towards others for personal gain, are impulsive, irritable/aggressive (often get into physical fights), don't care about the safety of themselves or others, and they have no empathy. So they can be pretty dangerous people. And technically speaking one cannot be a minor and be considered anti-social. So if you're thinking about her in terms of the clinical way I described, no worries. But if you're thinking about her in terms of not liking people and not being good with people, I would think about other ways of describing that in her lovely, snarky voice
I'll leave things there for now. Let me know if you have any questions, want me to elaborate on anything, or if anything I said was confusing!
Hi! Thanks for your feedback, I was in fact going for a clinical way as I currently study psychology, and taking a module in disorders
thanks.
Awesome! I was a psych major in college
Ah wicked! I'm British so our uni is like your college, I think I'd be in my last year of high school if I was in the U.S.
I completely loved this! You were able to develop the scene really well at the start so that the reader was given a good understanding of the situation, and you had me wanting to read more the whole way through. I still want to read more. I want to know what happens between her and Josh, their conversation instantly had me shipping them. Seriously loved it. I'll be waiting for updates
Ah, thank-you so much! Hopefully i'll be able to post more soon! just need to review more so I can have more points to post
Awesome, I'll watch out for it
I enjoyed this. I think it could make a really good story.
First, what think you can improve and add is transition. We would be at one scene or setting and then suddenly somewhere else.
For instance, when she left the apartment and suddenly appeared in "the room". In this part I think you just have to clearify she is in the weighting room. Then I wish you could describe she is writing poetry or taking out pen and paper because when you were describing the room I assumed she was just looking around.
Also I suggest providing more details on what Josh looks like.
The good things about your writing is your voice and dialog. You are very witty and I liked the exchange between the two. Also I liked her inner monologue in the beginning.
Good job and keep writing!
Thank-you so much
I'l definitely take those comments on board 
Also I was thinking maybe stretch their conversation a bit longer I feel that it's used between her and Josh.
Ah, okay. This piece was much, much longer but it was for my English Literature coursework, so it had to be cut down to under 800 words, and I can't seem to find the unedited version!