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A King; A Poet

by ellyxian

A heavy crown sits on my head

Like a boulder in Atlas’ shoulder

And blood flows from my throne

For all the dreams I have to surrender


I’d rather be bleeding on a page

Than be pricked from a crown of thorns

To burn like Icarus flying too close to the sun

And crash on waves till I’m torn


Yet I’m stuck drowning in a sea

Flooded by endless duty

Born with so much responsibilities

And the burden of my identity


Oh how I would give up everything

For a chance to run away

From the existence that was shoved in my arms

And towards the life that I crave


I want to dance under the moonlight

And sing till my voice is hoarse

I want to be driven to madness

To live my life with no remorse


Attention might be a drug

And my pride is as big as the ocean

And this may be the only life I’ve ever known

But it’s not one that I’ve chosen


So let me be a poet, I beg you

I do not want to be a king

There is a heart inside my ribs

And I refuse to let it stop beating


I don’t want the world in my hands

Please let me feel alive

Let my soul be obsessive and alluring

I don’t want to simply survive


But who am I kidding, it will never come to be

For a King cannot refuse his birthright

Despite the urge to be something more

It's a destiny I could never fight


So here I sit on my jagged throne

Daydreaming of a life I could have

If only the chains were a little loose

If only I am brave enough

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15 Reviews

Points: 500
Reviews: 15

Thu Feb 16, 2023 4:04 am
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Abysalyounglord wrote a review...

This poem was an interesting and thought-provoking exploration of the sometimes overwhelming and conflicting feelings of responsibility and autonomy. The words chosen to portray the speaker’s emotions were vivid and evocative, creating a strong sense of tension between the speaker’s desire to be free and their duty to remain loyal to their given role. The imagery of the ‘heavy crown’ and the ‘burden of identity’ gives the poem a sense of weight, reflecting the pressure of the speaker’s situation.

The lyrical structure of the poem is also effective in conveying the speaker’s message. The repetition of words like ‘be’, ‘burden’ and ‘burn’ give the poem a steady rhythm and help to emphasize the idea of a struggle between two competing forces. The use of metaphors, such as the comparison of the speaker’s crown to a boulder on Atlas’ shoulder, add a sense of grandiosity to the poem and help to reinforce the idea of the speaker’s heavy burden.

The only thing I disliked about this poem was the use of overly-dramatic language. While this can be effective in conveying strong emotions, such as the speaker’s sense of being overwhelmed, I felt that some of the phrases were a little too exaggerated. This detracted from the overall impact of the poem and made it feel a little contrived at times.

Overall, this poem is a powerful and emotive exploration of the conflict between the speaker’s desire to be free and their duty to remain loyal. The vivid imagery and lyrical structure help to give the poem a sense of depth and weight, making it a compelling and memorable read.

ellyxian says...

Thank you for this thoughtful review and for the honest critique, I'll be sure to keep it in mind!

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52 Reviews

Points: 27
Reviews: 52

Wed Feb 15, 2023 4:25 pm
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AlienPoetry wrote a review...

ellyxian says...

Hi! Thank you for loving the poem!

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Points: 59
Reviews: 4

Wed Feb 15, 2023 4:07 pm
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JellyfishMaxk wrote a review...

Oh my gosh. This poem spoke directly to me. It's really incredible, you did such an amazing job writing it, and putting feeling and heart into it. I love how you create the notion that 'you' want to fail, to be allowed to make mistakes, but the huge amount responsibility you have stops you from being able to do so, for the safety of the people in your 'kingdom'. I hope, if this is inspired by your real life, that you find the bravery and freedom to make mistakes and create the life you want to live.

ellyxian says...

I'm really glad for your comment, thank you. And there's kind of a connection with this poem and how I'm feeling with my life sometimes so thanks for the encouragement!

“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all -
— Emily Dickinson