Rays fall on its edges
exposing the shadowy part
of the crystal that had not seen light
since it all happened.
The glass chamber was dancing with light
like it was happy to feel the warm
on its body after a long time.
A disturbing silence awoke
all that were unconscious.
Sleeping in their cocoon,
oblivious to all that had happened.
The darkness had played a devious trick with their brains
forcing them into inactivity and inertness.
The long slumber had made them hungry
and it was of such proportion
that they could engulf the entire world
but still keep wanting for more.
The sound of light whispered
in their ears of the past
that had made them the center of the universe.
The feelings they had erupted in the ones
that had seen them in all their glory.
The whispers turned into screams
which had the power of breaking
even the most powerful chains in the world.
They could be free again,
just a little a push, that's it.
The cocoon had to be torn open,
to let everyone see once again
how beautiful and marvelous they can be.
They just needed to be inspired,
it can work wonders.
And it did.
The darkness can't hold back the light,
it will always break on through,
it might take a long time to do so
but it will never rest until it does so.
So is the case with words,
you can't shut it off
but you can never suppress it.
It will break all walls,
it will crack every glass,
it will sprout from a dormant little seed
to become a giant beanstalk and
it will slay every giant oppressor.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,836 Reviews
I like how you wrote this to get rid of your writers block, and called this struggle. That's amazing. I get that sometimes with some of my writing I'm like what the hell am I going to write, so I just write all my feelings that cluttered in my chest, then all of a sudden it's gone, and I got a story. But your poem (even though it came out of no where XD) was flawless in my eyes, everything was beautiful, but that's my opinion of course. I like that It has a somewhat a dark side hiding behind the story, but not that much. (I'm a fan of dark stories with emotion) Yours wasn't that dark, but it held a great amount of emotion. I could feel everything you wrote, and your imagery was so perfect, I could see myself witnessing this struggle if that makes any since at all, any ways my favorite is:
The sound of light whispered
in their ears of the past
that had made them the center of the universe.
The feelings they had erupted in the ones
that had seen them in all their glory.
The whispers turned into screams
which had the power of breaking
even the most powerful chains in the world.
This was somewhat what I was referring to the hidden dark side, how whispers turn to screams that will eventually break the sturdiest chains the world had held. It's the diction I suppose that gives off a kind of dark vibe.
So is the case with words,
you can't shut it off
but you can never suppress it.
It will break all walls,
it will crack every glass,
another favorite of mine, once again a hidden dark side, Shutting it off I'm guessing is your humanity or emotions that you can't shut off, but you can never suppress them. To me in my opinion shutting it off and suppressing is somewhat repetitive, different words with the same meaning, you can't get rid of it, but you never know I may be totally wrong, and plus this was to get rid of your writers block so did an incredible job anyway! XD It was astounding to read and I hope to read more in the future, and of course Rock on!
HI!
Good job with this poem. I'm a little lost as to what the subject matter is, but sometimes I'm not a very deep thinker (lol) so that may be just me. If what you had in mind for this poem was not to have a definite subject, and just to describe all the creative thoughts that cloud a writer's brain, then you did very well!
There were also a couple lines that could have been worded a little differently, such as this one:
"you can't shut it off
but you can never suppress it."
Perhaps you could have said something like, "you can't shut it off, AND you can never suppress it."
Other than that, good job!!
Hey I really enjoed this,
although i didn't really understand how that helped you with oyur writing block.
i like the thought after this it seems inspiring. like it inspires me but how did you come up with this when you couldn't write.
i really hope this makes sense,
xoxo
I don't know. I just blurted out stuff.