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Young Writers Society



Working Title: Chapter Two

by ehobby1465


Alicia didn’t try to run. She knew the main street was long and straight, there was no way she could get away unseen. Instead, she pulled on her sweatshirt and hoisted her backpack onto her shoulders. If she left them on the ground, there was no guarantee she’d ever see them again. The police car pulled slowly in front of the mouth of the alley, flashing lights dimming to a stop. Two policemen stepped out of the car, hands hovering cautiously above their hip holsters.

“I’m unarmed,” Alicia said, raising her hands above her head. “ I won’t put up a fight. Just be sure to take these two with me, there were endangering the safety of a minor.”

“Did you do this?” one asked, looking between the two grown men on the ground and the small girl in front of him.

“Do I have to do your entire job, or should I just leave?” Alicia replied. She knew it was ill advised, but they were getting on her nerves. She should have run. One of the men on the ground raised his good arm and pointed at her.

“She did this. We didn’t even have time to defend ourselves,” the two cops exchanged a look. Alicia could see the change in attitude sweep over them.

“I need two ambulances at Fourth and Grove, there are two men with apparent dislocations.” The second cop was back at the car, speaking into the radio.

“Turn around, and drop the backpack to the ground,” Alicia was handcuffed. “You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions.”

Alicia tuned him out as he finished the rights. She knew them all, and if they were Mirandizing her, it meant they were going to question her. If they were going to question her, it was going to be a long night in holding.

She was led to the police car and stuffed in the back seat. The back seats of police cars were never pleasant. They always smelled like vomit, and the previous occupants did everything they could to destroy anything they could get their hands on. This particular car had a huge hole in the seat upholstery, the result of years and years of arrestees picking at the fake leather with their cuffed hands. The backs of the seats in front of her were dented as well, apparently some took it upon themselves to go the extra mile kick the seats for the entire ride. Alicia wasn’t going to participate in their childish revenge, but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t give her some enjoyment.

After a short, silent ride, they reached the police station. It was built like a bunker, one story with very few windows. From the outside it looked like a grim place. From the inside, it looked worse. The city didn’t have much money to give the police, and what they had, they used on new guns and cars. The police station was old, linoleum peeling away from the floor and a refrigerator that sounded like it was about to take flight. At 8'o clock on a Tuesday, it was a fairly sedate place, so heads turned as Alicia was led through the administrative desks.

Her backpack and sweatshirt, along with the contents of her pockets, were confiscated and locked away. She shoved the voucher into her jeans without looking up. After being searched for hidden weapons, she was led down a poorly lit hallway (she wondered if it was intentional or just bad lighting) and into an interrogation room. Her handcuffs were run through the anchor on the table, and the door closed. She was alone.

Her first time in an interrogation room had been terrifying. And that had been the point. By the time the officers had come to check on her, she was babbling away, telling them everything they needed to know to get a perfect conviction. The room was intense, lit with cold white light and painted slate grey. The only furniture was two metal chairs and a metal table, all bolted to the floor. Overall, it looked like a place you were taken before your organs were stolen.

But Alicia knew better now. She knew the officers were waiting just outside the door, letting her sit in discomfort, hoping it would make their jobs easier. She knew they’d walk in together, one would take the chair, the other would lean against the door, giving the signal ‘there’s no way you are getting out of here’. One thing kept nagging at her. Usually, when she was brought in, she was booked right away. Fingerprints and photos were taken, and she was asked to give her personal information. By now she could recite it in her sleep, name, address, birthdate, social security number. This time no one asked her name. The thought pulled at the back of her mind.

An indeterminable amount of time went by. Alicia’s back began aching, interrogation chairs were not made with comfort in mind. He stomach started growling. It had been ages since she had eaten. By this time on a normal day, she would be home, fixing dinner for her mother and sister. She wondered if her mom made dinner. Probably just poured cereal into a bowl and called it a day.

The door creaked and swung open, and Alicia sat up straight. Just as she’d thought, one cop to the chair, one to the door. The cop who sat in the chair was a woman, and fairly young at that. They had done this before too, give Alicia someone she could relate to so she’d spill her guts. The woman dropped a file down on the table at an unnecessary height to emphasize its size.

“This is your second arrest this year,” she said, opening the file and pretending to read the contents. “Last year you were arrested once. All for assault. Do you want to tell me why that is?”

“I’m getting sloppier,” Alicia quipped. “Or you guys are getting faster. Either way, good for you.”

“Yes, you seem to be quite supportive of the police,” the file closed. “Why did you attack those particular men?”

“I wouldn’t have to if you guys would do your jobs,” Alicia said. “They were right in the middle of cornering a girl. Not sure what they were planning to do, but I can bet it wasn’t anything good. She called for help. I answered.”

“So you admit you assaulted the men?”

“I practically turned myself in,” Alicia dug her fingers into her thigh under the table. This was getting nowhere. “They were intimidating someone, I intimidated them back. I just happen to be a lot better intimidating than they are.”

“Right,” the cop sighed, and stood. “So, here’s how this is going to go-”

There was a sharp knock at the door. Alicia choked off her laugh as the cop leaning against the door jumped.

“Give us just a moment,” the female cop said as the door opened.

“I’ve got all the time in the world,” Alicia replied, smiling sweetly up at her. The door clicked shut and the smile slid off her face in a split second. She could hear raised voices, and someone banged their fist on the wall. Alicia strained her ears, trying to make out what they were arguing about. There were three voices, the two cops who had been interrogating her and another. Her best guess was an older man. The voices stopped. The door swung open once again, hinges protesting. An older man Alicia hadn’t seen before stepped in.

“You are Alicia Stevens?” He looked at her over his glasses, appearing thoroughly unimpressed. Alicia nodded an affirmative. “You must have friends in high places, young lady. I just got a call, and we have to let you go. Williams, uncuff her please.”

The female cop, Williams, looked like she had just taken a swig of sour milk as she unlocked Alicia from the table. Alicia pulled her hands away, glancing warily between the two adults in the room. This all seemed too convenient.

“You can pick up your personal items at the desk,” the man said. “There will be nothing on your record showing you were picked up. And I’d try not to piss off whoever you have on your side.”

Alicia nodded, and practically sprinted for the door. Once she had hastily pulled on her sweatshirt and backpack, she walked out the door and began running down the street, hoping to get far enough away before the cops realized they had made a mistake.

“But it wasn’t a mistake,” a voice in the back of her head reminded. “They knew your name. Someone called directly for you. They hadn’t even put you in the system yet.”

The thought chased Alicia home, making her feet move faster and faster. It was late now, almost 10, and the streets were dark. Streetlights weakly illuminated pools of pavement every few feet, but it wasn’t enough to keep her from tripping on the uneven sidewalks. The police station was far from her home, and she had a long way to go before she could collapse on her bed. It had been a very trying day.

When she reached her small house on the edge of the city, the lights were out. She fumbled in the dark for the keyhole, trying to to be as quiet as possible as she pushed the door open. She made a beeline for the kitchen, she hadn’t eaten since the pizza at lunch.

With a bowl full of cereal and two bananas in hand, Alicia made her way to the back hallway. The lights in her mother’s bedroom were off, she had gone to bed at her usual time. Under her little sister’s door, however, a crack of light shone through. Alicia pushed the door open to find her sister sitting cross legged on her floor, coloring on the back of some of Alicia’s old school assignments. She was surrounded by drawings. When she heard the door open, she jumped to her feet.

“Where were you?” she asked accusingly, hands on her hips and little-kid belly sticking out. She had on pink and white striped pyjamas Alicia had gotten her for her birthday, and a look that could kill. Alicia did her best not to laugh.

“I’m sorry Madison,” Alicia said, falling to her knees so she could look her sister in the eye. “I ran into someone who really needed my help. And whenever we can help someone, we should, right?” Alicia could see Madison’s resolve beginning to weaken.

“I was worried,” Madison said, sticking out her bottom lip. “But I drew you a picture!”

Her mood brightened instantly. She shuffled through the pages littering her floor before coming up with the prize. Alicia took it and smiled. It was her and Madison, at the park. The girl was good at dropping hints.

“I’ll try and take you tomorrow,” Alicia promised, mentally planning the work she needed to do tonight to make the extra time. “But now that I’m home, it is my job to say that you are up far too late young lady. Come on, let’s get in bed. You need to sleep so we can go to the park.”

Madison complied. She must have been exhausted. Once Alicia had tucked her in a turned out the light, she picked up her now soggy cereal and bananas and headed for her room. She pushed open the door and fumbled for the light switch with her elbow.

As soon as the lights flicked on, Alicia’s food was forgotten. Her room was just as she’d left it, everything neat, but not exactly clean. All her clothes were in her closet, there was nothing on the hardwood floor. Her desk was clear except for a calculator and some paper, and the plant she’d been trying to keep alive was drooping. There were a few cobwebs in the corners, but nothing unsanitary. Her bed, always made with military precision, was just as she’d left it. Except there was an addition. In the middle of her bed there sat an unmarked laptop. 


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1735 Reviews


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Sun Feb 28, 2016 7:41 pm
BluesClues wrote a review...



Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm back, albeit out of order. It was so good I had to keep reading never mind the fact I'm reading backwards.

The one thing that bugged me a little about this chapter was all the mention of Alicia not being put in the system yet, not having her fingerprints done, etc. Mainly because Alicia's in her hometown and has gotten into trouble before, recently. She's already in the system and I just figure the police probably know who she is by now. Admittedly, the fact of her current arrest might not be in the system just yet, but still. They know who she is. Her fingerprints and everything are already on file, unless her previous trouble was elsewhere.

Oh, another question. How old is Alicia? When the description of the last chapter mentioned a job offer, I assumed she was an adult. After reading this chapter and the mention of her living with her mom and sister (not just her sister, in which case she might have been her sister's legal guardian), I assume she's a teenager. Not that teenagers don't or can't get arrested, but wouldn't that be somewhat different than an adult getting arrested? She obviously beat up those two guys, but if they were full-grown men and she's a teenage girl...I don't know, I guess it just rubs me the wrong way, how the police are treating her.

Or maybe that's just because I know she's telling the truth about protecting that little girl.

Otherwise, just as good as the last one (or rather the next one). I like the fact that Alicia is a rough character for a reason - not just a tragic backstory reason, but that she actually tries to dispense justice where it's needed when the law isn't around to do so. She fights, but not for no reason or because someone insulted her or she has anger issues. It's just a nice change from what I think we usually see of characters who are constantly roughing people up.

Blue




ehobby1465 says...


Hey Blue! Thank you so much for your feedback and encouragement. Alicia is 17. You are right about the system thing, that is something I have to go back and fix.



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Wed Feb 24, 2016 6:14 am
BookWolf wrote a review...



Greetings, ehobby1465! :D Here for another review.

I'm really loving how this is moving along. You have everything so perfectly planned out and everything so carefully crafted, it's hard for me to find much to critique. However, there is one thing that I have to suggest and it's about description. Now, don't get me wrong, this is definitely one of your strong points and I'm amazed every time I read one of your works with how much care you put into details. However, I think you could enhance it even further if you added in a different kind of description, something that's a bit more powerful than what you see through your eyes.

Many writers on here often forget about the subtle yet powerful way you can describe a room or object by using the other four senses. For example, you could be in a cave. Sure, you could tell your reader how dark it is and there are probably cobwebs and bats, but you could also describe the cool stone of the cave, or the chilly, moist air. Those two descriptions are much more powerful than anything you could ever tell a reader in regards to how something looks. Just keep that in mind while writing, it will take you farther than you expect.

Alicia seemed a little bit immature in this chapter to me when she was talking to the cops. Now, in the past, I've been known to abandon a book because I thought the main character--especially if they're female--were too childish and snappy. Don't worry, though, Alicia is FAR from the extremes I've seen and abandoned. :D I just wanted to bring it to your attention so that you know how she looks in the eyes of your readers. If that's how you want her, that's fine, I'm just warning you not to take it too far or else some people (including me) would begin to see her as nothing more than a spoiled brat who kicks butt every now and then. xD Like I said, though, you have don't have anything to fear right now. Besides, she's a teenager, of course she's going to get a little immature and snappy at some point. It's to be expected.

Well, that's all for now. See yah later! ;)

- BookWolf





Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
— Brené Brown