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Need Help with Title!

by edders05

Published November 12, 2005

The crops in the fields sway,
As I walk through, lost in thought,
I hear the creatures at the end of day,
Returning to nests, to their loved ones.

Sky splashed with pink,
Hills rinsed with blue,
Horses stop to drink,
In the delights of the view.

As I climb the rugged stone stair,
Of life’s harsh pathway,
I look down at where I stood there,
Lost, confused; unloved.

I remember my grief,
At his passing,
His life so brief,
So swiftly cut short.

I’m nearing the top now,
Of that harsh stone stairway,
And I wonder how,
I climbed without a fall.

Relatives, friends
They all kept me there,
Always there, a hand to lend,
I was so ungrateful.

But now he is dead,
I realise what he did for me,
My life is a shimmering thread,
Soon to be cut away.

Now I’m at the end,
The view is great,
But I know, just round the bend,
He awaits; my friend.

As I try to round the bend,
Of the harsh, ragged trail,
So eager to observe the end,
I slip and slide from that pathway.

Down I fall,
Into the abyss.
It is dark.
There is no escape.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
edders05
Comment
edders05 commented Comment · Nov 13, 2005

Thank you for the comments! :lol:
Not sure the title works for me but nothing else is coming so....

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Angel17
Review
Angel17 wrote a review Review · Nov 12, 2005

I tend to name my poems after the line i feel stands out the most. With your poem i think you should call it

Sky splashed with pink, hills rinsed with blue

These were the most imaginative 2 lines in the poem in my opinion. I really liked the way your poem starts happy and colourful and then goes dark and sad slowly. This was a great technique and really helped grip the reader. :D



I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart; I am, I am, I am.
— Sylvia Plath