BATTLE
The clanging of swords,
The beating of drums,
The chanting of men,
The killing of hopes.
The screams of defiance,
The screams of hatred,
The screams of agony,
The screams of joy.
The clashing of axes,
The whirring of arrows,
The twanging of catapults,
The beating of swords.
The fear of men,
The hope of men,
The joy of men,
The hate of men.
The victors’ shout,
The losers’ cry,
The womens’ fear,
The childrens’ screams.
The burying,
The crying,
The new beginning,
All for glory?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
I feel like I'm balancing on a fence post, not completely sure if i like/ dislike the repetitiveness. OK, i fell. I like it because I do it sometimes too
. No, but I really think it works here. You don't want to over-emotionalize the whole thing (makes it cheesy) but you don't want it completely devoid of emotion. However... your ending was awful. It was just like "what?"
The new beginning? Um, do explain. And your very last statement "All for glory?" didn't really suit the rhythm of the poem. I suggest a word other than "glory". Check out an online thesaurus or something; it could really help.
Good work overall.