The Quiet One

There's a boy
He's sitting in a corner
Hardly talking
Hardly listening
Invisible

He's a ghost
Detached from the world
Engrossed in his thoughts
Watching
Waiting

Watching high-fives
Watching gossiping girls
Watching stray balls
And fist fights
And kisses against trees

Waiting for someone 
But nobody comes
Frustrated
He shrinks
Until he disappears

He walks around
He tries to speak
But comes up blank
He tries to approach
But retreats back

He's one
Agsinst milions
Lost in the shuffle
Lonely
Invisible
Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
AubrielRose
Review

You did a nice job expressing a lot of emotion through a limited amount of words. That requires a certain kind of talent, in which I am more often envious of than a companion to. As a reader, I could sense the boy's depression, and the sense that no one around him understood him. I can relate to it. I like how you explained how the boy tries to approach them, but finds it too difficult. Good job and keep writing.

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate the compliments :)

Also, you seem to be a yummy, chummy, funny, lucky gummy bear :P

User avatar
Twinkle4ever
Review

This poetry reminds me of someone. You didn't use much words but you sure described all the boy's feelings. I like the paragraphing. I don't do poems so I'm not going to be able to give the best review here but I think this is a very good piece. It's like a short story about the boy, how he's like and what he does, what he wants to achieve. The best thing about it is that every line is in perfect order where it's supposed to be. I don't feel at all that this line should've been first and this one last. I hope you get what I mean. So, keep practicing. Read more poetry that's posted here so you get more ideas. :)

Thanks for your review :D

I tried to make it feel like a short story, almost. I tend to notice the quiet kid and sometimes AM that quiet kid, so I wanted to capture the mixed emotions that the kid feels.

I've been reading the poetry around here and it's been great! I'll keep practicing :D



Remember the rain that made your corn grow.
— Haitian Proverb