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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,795 Reviews
You did a nice job expressing a lot of emotion through a limited amount of words. That requires a certain kind of talent, in which I am more often envious of than a companion to. As a reader, I could sense the boy's depression, and the sense that no one around him understood him. I can relate to it. I like how you explained how the boy tries to approach them, but finds it too difficult. Good job and keep writing.
Thanks a lot. I really appreciate the compliments
Also, you seem to be a yummy, chummy, funny, lucky gummy bear
This poetry reminds me of someone. You didn't use much words but you sure described all the boy's feelings. I like the paragraphing. I don't do poems so I'm not going to be able to give the best review here but I think this is a very good piece. It's like a short story about the boy, how he's like and what he does, what he wants to achieve. The best thing about it is that every line is in perfect order where it's supposed to be. I don't feel at all that this line should've been first and this one last. I hope you get what I mean. So, keep practicing. Read more poetry that's posted here so you get more ideas.
Thanks for your review
I tried to make it feel like a short story, almost. I tend to notice the quiet kid and sometimes AM that quiet kid, so I wanted to capture the mixed emotions that the kid feels.
I've been reading the poetry around here and it's been great! I'll keep practicing