Son of an Emperor

by duringlondon, Hailey

Published March 1, 2016

E - Everyone

In 6th PeriodStory

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Son of an Emperor

A life of crime wasn’t my original plan. But here I am, and once you start you don’t stop. I started when my father kicked me out of the palace. I only remember the bad things he said to me. Like, “Sheng! You will leave me until I am ready for your presence!” or “Sheng! You are arguing with your own father! What is your logic! Listen to the 4 noble truths!” I am now a well known criminal. Though I usually only take what I need, today was the day I took what no one dared to take for over a thousand years. I had been planning for months. My elaborate scheme was bound to work and soon I would prove to my father that he shouldn’t have kicked me out. I was going to steal the most prized possession of the kingdom- the Guó wángguàn (the Emperor's Crown). I then planned to travel to Mongolia and sell the crown.

Months ago, I had this idea and since then I dug tunnels under my city. I am poor so instead of a silk robe I wore a hemp robe. I used to be very wealthy and now almost no one recognizes me in my hemp robe and dirty face.

I start down my tunnel. Small drips of dirty rainwater from the town above run down the sides of the dirt tunnel. I turn down a corner and see my disguise. I quickly strip down of my hemp robe and carefully slip on the silk robe of my fathers old noble Teng Han. Teng was rich until he left China for Mongolia. I start to have second thoughts but lock them away in my mind as I remember the fight me and my father engaged in. I come back to the real world and continue down the dirty tunnel. When I finally reach the end of the tunnel, I feel the slimy walls for the metal rungs of my ladder. My hands finally grasp the rusty handles and I make my way up the the final tunnel.

When I reach the top, I creep out of the tunnel and tip-toe to the royal bed chambers. I carefully open the door and run to the loose piece of wood I made in the floor. I plant my feet down and pull the wood out of its spot. In the small hole in the floor, I spot my hidden items: a rope, some silk womens gloves, and some silk slippers. I grab the gloves and slip them on. I pull the socks on my feet, because my feet are so dainty, it doesn’t matter that these slippers are for bound women’s feet. I put the rope over my shoulder. In my slippers, I can quietly maneuver around the palace with ease. I hop on to the silken sheets of the bed and start jumping. When I am high enough, I put my arms up and try to place my hands on the wood poles lining the ceiling. When I finally pull myself up, I pull the rope off of my shoulder. I grab the end of it and twist it on a couple of the lanterns to hold myself up. When the rope is finally tied to the lanterns, I attach it to my robes and climb the ceiling. I continue this pattern until I finally reach the room of the crown.

When I am just above the crown, I detach the rope from my robes and tie it on to a couple more lanterns on the ceiling, I then reattach it to my robes and lower myself down to the crown. When I am close enough I see how beautiful the actual crown is. It is gold with jade embedded in circular shapes and more gold traces on the side in a flower pattern. It is so, NO, I snap out of my daze and grab the crown with my silk gloves. The guards don’t seem to notice and I untie the rope from the ceiling. Now I am dangling from the ceiling and I can’t seem to pull myself up sweat trickles down my hands on to the lantern. The rope, which I’m clasping with my little finger, slips. Gravity immediately pulls it down. My luck kicks in and the rope swings back, and hits a guard in the back of his head. He slowly turns around his fat belly jiggling with anger. His face now bright red spots me immediately. He screams a battle call and all of the guards charge toward the rough walls. They climb with speed, the fat bellied one fastest. I guess meals and meals of pork, rice, and fruit couldn’t slow this guard down and the constricting silk robe he was wearing- it must be at least 5 sizes too small!

Since our town’s soldiers were out fighting the Mongols, there were even less men guarding the crown than before. They came closer and closer before I had an idea. I jumped. As I fell from the tall ceiling many of the guards jumped as well. They fell as fast as I did. The air brushed across my face with a gentle touch and I could almost hear my dad calling my name. When I hit the ground my entire body felt the impact. I slip in and out of consciousness, the blackness covering my eyes like a soft dark blanket.

Suddenly, the darkness fades away and I see a man standing above me. His soft hand touches my cheek and wetness pours down his face. I faintly recognize him, but suddenly the memories flood back into my brain. He sits on the silk cushion of the bed and stares into my eyes. He speaks, with a slight crackling in his voice.

“Welcome home, Son”.

I am overwhelmed with emotion. I pull off the sheets and plant my feet on the bamboo floor. When I try to stand up shooting pain leaves me crying out in excruciating pain. I sit back on the bed and slip back under the sheets. My father leaves the room and comes back with the crown . But, this time the crown is even smaller than before. This new crown is silver and it has jade circles placed delicately on the top. As he places it on my head, I feel the white silk as soft as the sheets but with a cushiony bounce to it.

“You will be sleeping in this chamber.” he says. All of my worries melt away with his kind, forgiving words.

“Thank you father.” I exclaim.

“I didn’t kick you out, Son.” he says. “I want you to join me and fight the-”.

Suddenly, a tremble shakes the palace, jade falls from the ceiling and my beautiful crown slips off my head and shatters on the floor.

My father’s hands grasp my back as he runs with me in his arms and escapes the palace.

“I am sorry, Son. I do not know where to take you.”.

I suddenly have a crazy idea. “The tunnels” I whisper.

“What?” he says.

“The tunnels.” I say back. I lift my finger and point to the ladder I used. He leads us over to the tunnels.

“Son, you go down first and I will meet you down.” I climb down, ignoring the pain that makes me want to stop. I reach the bottom and so does my father. We sprint down the tunnel and down the steps into where I hid my disguise. My father walks over to a corner of the room and puts his hands in his head. I hear short sobbing noises.

“Father, what is wrong.” I say.

“I let down my kingdom, I should be out there fighting and,” he catches his breath. “I am hiding. I am worthless.” he sobs.

“Father you are not worthless. You are a king!”. He smiles and then allows a scared look to appear on his face. “Father!” I scream.

Mongols pour into the tunnels. A bow is drawn. The twine pulled back makes a creak and the hand holding it lets go. The arrow pierces his chest and red blood pours out, first trickling. Finally, the leader comes in and draws his bow, I know what’s coming. He pulls the thin twine back and aims at my chest. I hear the arrow before it hits me. It almost screams in anger. I breathe, and then it’s all over.  

Comments & reviews · 7
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ColeFowler45 Review
ColeFowler45 wrote a review Review · Mar 16, 2016

Very descriptive story! Great use of "showing, not telling," especially when describing the setting of the story. Very subtle incorporation of historical content about Buddhism, Chinese food, etc. The plot was extremely compelling and had me at the edge of my seat through the entire story. I wonder if you could have proofread the story before submitting it, there were a few grammatical errors here and there. Add more commas in some areas and check spelling.

Other than that, great writing!

- Cole Fowler

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Soziopath
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Soziopath commented Comment · Mar 15, 2016

Hi duringlondon,
This story has to be one of the best ones I have written a review on yet. I love how when the mongols find them you really show and not tell. This story is filled with lots of historical details that really made me feel like I was in mid-evil China! I wonder if you could have put more detail in saying what it was like to have to walk around with the injury.
Outstanding work duringlondon!

If you would like to read a different version of the story be sure to go check out Three Years by : Olivia Sozio. This historical fiction story tells a tail through the eyes of the emperor .

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Soziopath
Review
Soziopath wrote a review Review · Mar 15, 2016

Hi duringlondon,
This story has to be one of the best ones I have written a review on yet. I love how when the mongols find them you really show and not tell. This story is filled with lots of historical details that really made me feel like I was in mid-evil China! I wonder if you could have put more detail in saying what it was like to have to walk around with the injury.
Outstanding work duringlondon!

If you would like to read a different version of the story be sure to go check out Three Years by : Olivia Sozio. This historical fiction story tells a tail through the eyes of the emperor .

User avatar
ColeFowler45 Comment
ColeFowler45 commented Comment · Mar 14, 2016

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elliexoxo Review
elliexoxo wrote a review Review · Mar 14, 2016

I really loved it! It was super descriptive - making me feel like I was in the book, which let's you know you did a good job. :)
One thing I noticed was one grammar error. You had said: 'I start to have second thoughts but lock them away in my mind as I remember the fight me and my father engaged in.'
At the end of the sentence you say me and my father, when it should have been my father and I. Also, your paragraphs are pretty long. Usually, paragraphs are supposed to be about five sentences, but in one of your paragraphs you did a whole twelve sentences. Maybe just split them into two. Other than that, I thought it was awesome and I l absolutely loved it. :)

-Ellie (your husband)

christithething wrote a review Review · Mar 11, 2016

This is a very descriptive story and I really like it. This really shows the "show not tell" thing, you did very well. I how you described the way he tried to steal the crown. It was a big surprise when the father came back, and even a more surprise when they both were killed, which was very sad and depressing. Overall this story was amazing!

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ColeFowler45 Comment
ColeFowler45 commented Comment · Mar 9, 2016



here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can home or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
— e.e. cummings