Published May 6, 2008
[pre]When one is lost anothers heart is torn. Unable to take on normal everyday life, everyday problems and issues. Completely paralyzed and blocked out from the world. The way you feel about life just doesnt feel the same anymore. A new touch, a new look, a new personality an it all adds up to make a new you.[/pre][pre]So hurt on the inside you sonseal yourself afraid of getting hurt once more not knowing who to trust. No one to run to. The second you get into your car trying not to cry laying you head down softly on the steering wheel. Music that you were hoping would make you feel better but instead realizing it hurts even more.[/pre][pre]you get home an flop down to the ground. Memmories flowing through your head you soon without a breath cry just a little bit. The picture of them you cant seem to put down, holding , staring , crying even harder. You begin to crawl to your bed an under a blanket curled up in a ball you cry yourself to sleep.[/pre]
[pre]Missing that amazing touch, and passionate kissthey left on your lips befor they left through that door not knowing it would be theyre last day to to see the light, breath the air or taste the water.[/pre]
[pre]Not understanding what happened or why it even occured. Still curled up in the ball you another day passes. Feeling guilty but knowing your innocent. So much to deal with so hard to to explain. Hiding your feelings from the entire world no one can see through those eyes.[/pre]
[pre]People believe they can read you like a book; pretending theyre right but on the inside knowing theyre all wrong. They dont even have a clue. Youll never spill to anyone yout heart perhaps bits an pieces but never the would they understand the whole story.[/pre]
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141,399 Literary Works • 674,388 Reviews
:( i have felt this way before, i really love this.
I agree with the above comments: I like your thoughts, but the punctuation and grammar made it difficult to read. Try giving it a good read-through.
I agree, it is slightly hard to read but after reading it a few times I have to say it is very deep.
Cassandra says that it is a cliche subject to write about. Well, yes it is, but its not cliche to you, is it? Have YOU written about it a million times? No! So go ahead with your wonderful cliche writing.
Honestly, I found this very hard to read. What put me off were the myriad of spelling and grammatical errors. You really should proof read this, or get a friend to go over it before you post it.
You write about a very cliche subject, and I'm sorry to say I don't find this very original. If you want this to stand out, you really need to avoid cliches. I know broken hearts are universal, but there are dozens of approaches you could make on it.
I hope you don't think I'm being too harsh, and your writing isn't terrible... it could just be much better.