This is my monologue. its about a guy who lives on the streets and what his life is like. read it and tell me what you think. enjoy!
I just came back from sayin’ goodbye to my buddy Stan. He was one o’ the fellas that lived on the streets with me. He was a good guy. He just passed away. I dunno whether he died from cancer or starvation or if he froze to death but…. I’m gonna miss that rascal.
There’s been a lot of deaths recently. Last week it was, Reg and Lenny, Yesterday it was Carl and Nick and today it was Stan.
Its just not right. The streets aren’t meant to be lived on. We’re human beings too. We shouldn’t be treated differently. But that’s the way the world works.
Its just not fair.
That’s a lesson I learned living on the streets. ‘the world is not fair’
Its cruel and mean and it doesn’t give a damn about what you think.
The world is nothing like you see in the movies.
In the movies, if you cross the road when a car is coming, then superman saves you.
In real life, if you cross the road without looking, you get smacked by a Lorry.
In the movies, if you get stabbed, you’re left with a scar.
In real life, if you get a knife in you, you die.
That’s just the way it is.
Lots of people don’t know or haven’t learned that lesson yet.
Every day I see some kids goin’ to school or young adults goin’ to work and when I look at them I think that they must be completely oblivious to what the real world is like.
I feel sad every time I look at them because I know that someday they will learn that the world is vicious and cruel. I hope that they wont find out the hard way like I did. My only friend that’s still alive has come down with a really bad cough and he says he’s feelin’
weak.
I hope he’s OK.
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Very well done, I liked the voice of this piece. I could really feel what the speaker was feeling. Simple and straightforward, yet eloquent. The imagery and the voice are exceptional. The reader can really form a good mental image of what's going on. Excellent job on that part. The mood is sort of melancholy with a hint of foreboding, and it's conveyed in a sense that a lot of people can relate to. I also like how you altered certain words to give the impression of someone who's not the brightest crayon in the box. Good moral, too. I agree that the cold & real is something not a lot of people think about enough. Overall, good job.
The only things I could find wrong with this would be a bunch of grammar errors. Some commas that don't belong, some words randomly capitalised, some missing apostrophes. Proofreading is your friend.
--St. Razorblade