Published June 25, 2011
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138,281 Literary Works • 672,096 Reviews
Wow, lots of multi-postage!
I think you should say on the last line "Crash to the ground" or something. It sounds more dramatic than "float in midair"
i loved it.......
the flow of words was amazing......
the love was rightly captured in words......
As with the first reader and critique-er I will have to agree that the cliched romance theme does get a tad bit over-cooked. Though I like how you displayed the quality of faith and loyalty in this poem. It seems that you're protagonist (sorry I'm using novel slang) is putting her faith in the fact that her lover will catch her when she reaches the bottom which gives a sense of loyalty emitting from the lover.
I also enjoyed the last line, especially considering it gives me a feeling of uncertainty coming from the protagonist. As though she's not completely sure she wants to test her faith even if she believes it has sound reason to be.
The solid rhythm gave me a pause for a moment, but I quickly fell into the simplicity of your poem and yet the complexity of the emotions behind it.
Overall this piece of poetry struck me from behind and I give it five stars. You're romantic poem puts a distinct "X" on the little box that says you can't have faith in something you don't believe. Your character (again with the words!) seems to need to risk it but she's still uncertain as to the outcome of her fall into the unknown. I loved it, and you're getting a "LIKE" from me.
- Write on,
Written.
As with the first reader and critique-er I will have to agree that the cliched romance theme does get a tad bit over-cooked. Though I like how you displayed the quality of faith and loyalty in this poem. It seems that you're protagonist (sorry I'm using novel slang) is putting her faith in the fact that her lover will catch her when she reaches the bottom which gives a sense of loyalty emitting from the lover.
I also enjoyed the last line, especially considering it gives me a feeling of uncertainty coming from the protagonist. As though she's not completely sure she wants to test her faith even if she believes it has sound reason to be.
The solid rhythm gave me a pause for a moment, but I quickly fell into the simplicity of your poem and yet the complexity of the emotions behind it.
Overall this piece of poetry struck me from behind and I give it five stars. You're romantic poem puts a distinct "X" on the little box that says you can't have faith in something you don't believe. Your character (again with the words!) seems to need to risk it but she's still uncertain as to the outcome of her fall into the unknown. I loved it, and you're getting a "LIKE" from me.
- Write on,
Written.
As with the first reader and critique-er I will have to agree that the cliched romance theme does get a tad bit over-cooked. Though I like how you displayed the quality of faith and loyalty in this poem. It seems that you're protagonist (sorry I'm using novel slang) is putting her faith in the fact that her lover will catch her when she reaches the bottom which gives a sense of loyalty emitting from the lover.
I also enjoyed the last line, especially considering it gives me a feeling of uncertainty coming from the protagonist. As though she's not completely sure she wants to test her faith even if she believes it has sound reason to be.
The solid rhythm gave me a pause for a moment, but I quickly fell into the simplicity of your poem and yet the complexity of the emotions behind it.
Overall this piece of poetry struck me from behind and I give it five stars. You're romantic poem puts a distinct "X" on the little box that says you can't have faith in something you don't believe. Your character (again with the words!) seems to need to risk it but she's still uncertain as to the outcome of her fall into the unknown. I loved it, and you're getting a "LIKE" from me.
- Write on,
Written.
As with the first reader and critique-er I will have to agree that the cliched romance theme does get a tad bit over-cooked. Though I like how you displayed the quality of faith and loyalty in this poem. It seems that you're protagonist (sorry I'm using novel slang) is putting her faith in the fact that her lover will catch her when she reaches the bottom which gives a sense of loyalty emitting from the lover.
I also enjoyed the last line, especially considering it gives me a feeling of uncertainty coming from the protagonist. As though she's not completely sure she wants to test her faith even if she believes it has sound reason to be.
The solid rhythm gave me a pause for a moment, but I quickly fell into the simplicity of your poem and yet the complexity of the emotions behind it.
Overall this piece of poetry struck me from behind and I give it five stars. You're romantic poem puts a distinct "X" on the little box that says you can't have faith in something you don't believe. Your character (again with the words!) seems to need to risk it but she's still uncertain as to the outcome of her fall into the unknown. I loved it, and you're getting a "LIKE" from me.
- Write on,
Written.
As with the first reader and critique-er I will have to agree that the cliched romance theme does get a tad bit over-cooked. Though I like how you displayed the quality of faith and loyalty in this poem. It seems that you're protagonist (sorry I'm using novel slang) is putting her faith in the fact that her lover will catch her when she reaches the bottom which gives a sense of loyalty emitting from the lover.
I also enjoyed the last line, especially considering it gives me a feeling of uncertainty coming from the protagonist. As though she's not completely sure she wants to test her faith even if she believes it has sound reason to be.
The solid rhythm gave me a pause for a moment, but I quickly fell into the simplicity of your poem and yet the complexity of the emotions behind it.
Overall this piece of poetry struck me from behind and I give it five stars. You're romantic poem puts a distinct "X" on the little box that says you can't have faith in something you don't believe. Your character (again with the words!) seems to need to risk it but she's still uncertain as to the outcome of her fall into the unknown. I loved it, and you're getting a "LIKE" from me.
- Write on,
Written.
As with the first reader and critique-er I will have to agree that the cliched romance theme does get a tad bit over-cooked. Though I like how you displayed the quality of faith and loyalty in this poem. It seems that you're protagonist (sorry I'm using novel slang) is putting her faith in the fact that her lover will catch her when she reaches the bottom which gives a sense of loyalty emitting from the lover.
I also enjoyed the last line, especially considering it gives me a feeling of uncertainty coming from the protagonist. As though she's not completely sure she wants to test her faith even if she believes it has sound reason to be.
The solid rhythm gave me a pause for a moment, but I quickly fell into the simplicity of your poem and yet the complexity of the emotions behind it.
Overall this piece of poetry struck me from behind and I give it five stars. You're romantic poem puts a distinct "X" on the little box that says you can't have faith in something you don't believe. Your character (again with the words!) seems to need to risk it but she's still uncertain as to the outcome of her fall into the unknown. I loved it, and you're getting a "LIKE" from me.
- Write on,
Written.
As with the first reader and critique-er I will have to agree that the cliched romance theme does get a tad bit over-cooked. Though I like how you displayed the quality of faith and loyalty in this poem. It seems that you're protagonist (sorry I'm using novel slang) is putting her faith in the fact that her lover will catch her when she reaches the bottom which gives a sense of loyalty emitting from the lover.
I also enjoyed the last line, especially considering it gives me a feeling of uncertainty coming from the protagonist. As though she's not completely sure she wants to test her faith even if she believes it has sound reason to be.
The solid rhythm gave me a pause for a moment, but I quickly fell into the simplicity of your poem and yet the complexity of the emotions behind it.
Overall this piece of poetry struck me from behind and I give it five stars. You're romantic poem puts a distinct "X" on the little box that says you can't have faith in something you don't believe. Your character (again with the words!) seems to need to risk it but she's still uncertain as to the outcome of her fall into the unknown. I loved it, and you're getting a "LIKE" from me.
- Write on,
Written.
As with the first reader and critique-er I will have to agree that the cliched romance theme does get a tad bit over-cooked. Though I like how you displayed the quality of faith and loyalty in this poem. It seems that you're protagonist (sorry I'm using novel slang) is putting her faith in the fact that her lover will catch her when she reaches the bottom which gives a sense of loyalty emitting from the lover.
I also enjoyed the last line, especially considering it gives me a feeling of uncertainty coming from the protagonist. As though she's not completely sure she wants to test her faith even if she believes it has sound reason to be.
The solid rhythm gave me a pause for a moment, but I quickly fell into the simplicity of your poem and yet the complexity of the emotions behind it.
Overall this piece of poetry struck me from behind and I give it five stars. You're romantic poem puts a distinct "X" on the little box that says you can't have faith in something you don't believe. Your character (again with the words!) seems to need to risk it but she's still uncertain as to the outcome of her fall into the unknown. I loved it, and you're getting a "LIKE" from me.
- Write on,
Written.
As with the first reader and critique-er I will have to agree that the cliched romance theme does get a tad bit over-cooked. Though I like how you displayed the quality of faith and loyalty in this poem. It seems that you're protagonist (sorry I'm using novel slang) is putting her faith in the fact that her lover will catch her when she reaches the bottom which gives a sense of loyalty emitting from the lover.
I also enjoyed the last line, especially considering it gives me a feeling of uncertainty coming from the protagonist. As though she's not completely sure she wants to test her faith even if she believes it has sound reason to be.
The solid rhythm gave me a pause for a moment, but I quickly fell into the simplicity of your poem and yet the complexity of the emotions behind it.
Overall this piece of poetry struck me from behind and I give it five stars. You're romantic poem puts a distinct "X" on the little box that says you can't have faith in something you don't believe. Your character (again with the words!) seems to need to risk it but she's still uncertain as to the outcome of her fall into the unknown. I loved it, and you're getting a "LIKE" from me.
- Write on,
Written.
As with the first reader and critique-er I will have to agree that the cliched romance theme does get a tad bit over-cooked. Though I like how you displayed the quality of faith and loyalty in this poem. It seems that you're protagonist (sorry I'm using novel slang) is putting her faith in the fact that her lover will catch her when she reaches the bottom which gives a sense of loyalty emitting from the lover.
I also enjoyed the last line, especially considering it gives me a feeling of uncertainty coming from the protagonist. As though she's not completely sure she wants to test her faith even if she believes it has sound reason to be.
The solid rhythm gave me a pause for a moment, but I quickly fell into the simplicity of your poem and yet the complexity of the emotions behind it.
Overall this piece of poetry struck me from behind and I give it five stars. You're romantic poem puts a distinct "X" on the little box that says you can't have faith in something you don't believe. Your character (again with the words!) seems to need to risk it but she's still uncertain as to the outcome of her fall into the unknown. I loved it, and you're getting a "LIKE" from me.
- Write on,
Written.
As with the first reader and critique-er I will have to agree that the cliched romance theme does get a tad bit over-cooked. Though I like how you displayed the quality of faith and loyalty in this poem. It seems that you're protagonist (sorry I'm using novel slang) is putting her faith in the fact that her lover will catch her when she reaches the bottom which gives a sense of loyalty emitting from the lover.
I also enjoyed the last line, especially considering it gives me a feeling of uncertainty coming from the protagonist. As though she's not completely sure she wants to test her faith even if she believes it has sound reason to be.
The solid rhythm gave me a pause for a moment, but I quickly fell into the simplicity of your poem and yet the complexity of the emotions behind it.
Overall this piece of poetry struck me from behind and I give it five stars. You're romantic poem puts a distinct "X" on the little box that says you can't have faith in something you don't believe. Your character (again with the words!) seems to need to risk it but she's still uncertain as to the outcome of her fall into the unknown. I loved it, and you're getting a "LIKE" from me.
- Write on,
Written.
As with the first reader and critique-er I will have to agree that the cliched romance theme does get a tad bit over-cooked. Though I like how you displayed the quality of faith and loyalty in this poem. It seems that you're protagonist (sorry I'm using novel slang) is putting her faith in the fact that her lover will catch her when she reaches the bottom which gives a sense of loyalty emitting from the lover.
I also enjoyed the last line, especially considering it gives me a feeling of uncertainty coming from the protagonist. As though she's not completely sure she wants to test her faith even if she believes it has sound reason to be.
The solid rhythm gave me a pause for a moment, but I quickly fell into the simplicity of your poem and yet the complexity of the emotions behind it.
Overall this piece of poetry struck me from behind and I give it five stars. You're romantic poem puts a distinct "X" on the little box that says you can't have faith in something you don't believe. Your character (again with the words!) seems to need to risk it but she's still uncertain as to the outcome of her fall into the unknown. I loved it, and you're getting a "LIKE" from me.
- Write on,
Written.
My favorite part of this was the flow that you had, which was really solid. Sorry that I'm getting insanely tired of romance, especially in poetry, so I won't hover on topic really. But there was definitely a simple quality I liked that made it cool to read. Overall, I thought this was really good.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver