Published April 27, 2011
I'm not sure if this is any good yet so please comment and let me know. I appreciate all criticism. Thank you!
I don’t want to hide.
It hurts my heart
To keep my anguish trapped.
I don’t want to hide.
Behind this mask
Is a broken face.
I don’t want to hide
The pain in my soul,
For it to cease is my goal.
I don’t want to hide
My crying eyes’ tears,
To show them, though, is one of my fears.
I don’t want to hide
Behind fake happiness,
It doesn’t help me handle all of this stress.
I don’t want to hide
My depression any longer,
And yet I will, I’ll keep getting stronger.
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141,423 Literary Works • 674,398 Reviews
The poem you have there is simple and short and shows all your emotions plainly. Although I agree with the last reviewer about this part.
How? How does depression make you stronger? Do you mean that you'll grow stronger in the sense of hiding your depression? If so then you need to tell us that.
Other than that point, I can't see anything else out of place with the poem that needs critiquing. So, keep writing!
Okay this is how I'm going to do this a weird way. There are lines I just really don't like, not a lot but some. I will make them red.
Not to much to say, but I feel like you gave up in the end. Keep strong the whole way! I hope this helped, any questions PM me.