Published October 11, 2008
Go away.
You are not my shadow;
Stop following me around.
No, I don't want to talk.
I don't want your arm around the back of my chair.
I don't want your opinion on everything I do.
I only find it annoying that you laugh when I'm not even being funny.
My feelings are not your business;
I told someone else instead.
I am not your babe.
I am not your sweetie.
I am not even your friend.
Your jokes aren't funny anymore.
You aren't the first to 'fall in love' with me without my permission,
Don’t think you'll be the last.
I don't need you to compliment me on my work,
I know I'm good,
And I know that you would compliment me even if I wasn't.
I put that stuff on the chair next to me so you wouldn't sit there.
I don’t need you to tell me what to do,
I’ve spent 16 years without you and I’m doing fine.
Stop making such a big deal out of everything,
It doesn't make people want to help you,
It just makes us run out of patience even faster.
Are you retarded?
When I avoid you,
It means that I don’t want to be with you.
Please, do me a favour;
Take a hint,
And leave me alone.
.
.
.
.
I don't know....I was just free-writing and this sorta formed...I quite like it; effectively sums up my feelings towards a certain someone right now...
Points:
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IP address:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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141,455 Literary Works • 674,469 Reviews
I like it but I feel sad lol so mean haha I guess its different when your not on the receiving end of it to love someone who cant or wont love you. Its good makes me wanna sing "youre so vain" hahah great voice to the poem would love to read more!
I don't think that I would describe it as rage, I'm not angry, just annoyed. I guess this peice works better if you know me, I'm not usually one who expresses any sort of negative emotion, especially in this way. The fact that this is so straightforward and cathartic, as you say, illustrated my feelings at the time perfectly. I'd spent the whole week being subtle and alluding to my annoyance and this was the summation of the brutal honesty of my thoughts and feelings.
Thank you for the review, although I was rather confused, did you like it or not?
dreamintechnicolour
<3
well it certainly got its message across, i'll give you that. i'm sure the person this is directed to would be quite taken aback by the unrestrained rage here. but i think it was a little too straightforward. surely the message could have been sent with the use of some metaphor, some artistry. this kind of beat you over the head. then again, i've written things like this from time to time. it's not artistic writing, it's cathartic writing. but there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. i'll look forward to future releases from you.
-zalarus
Certain Someone was a great motivator to get me back on the writing wagon, he has that much going for him at least. I seriously thin kyou deserve a cookie for reading it 5 times! I can't believe you bothered, I'm super-glad you liked it though
Good luck waiting for future works, good writing is coming from my brain slow as molasses at the moment, that is, I'm working on something, but don't hold your breath!
Thanks for the comment!!!
There's a time when love'S labor is lost.
it seems "a certain someone" proved to be a great motivation. Bravo. But i will concede here that, it took me a good deal of five reads to actually enjoy it. That IS not to say its not good, but rather that it reminds of jazz and blues music. Yeah. You just cant love them at a first listen. you have to acquire a taste for them.
Bravo again.
P.S.: I'm waiting for your other future works.
Passion: Thanks! Well, free-writing doesn't exactly sum it up, it was pretty much a whole week of annoyance built up and so i wrote down all the things I could remember thinking across this one peice of paper and then structured it a bit better... (^^,)
WOW. You did really good. I mean this was really good. How'd you do that? That was no free writing. Even I don't come up with things that cool. You did really good. Keep it up. I've been there before. So smiles to you.
thecommunistmenace: lol, thanks!
scribblingquill: Thanks. Yeah I'm not really one for poetry, but I didn't really know how else to structure it...
:L
I like it a lot, but i don't think it really suits the form of a poem.
i really like the not so subtle " are you retarded"