Published January 16, 2014
Before you were placed into my arms.
I had looked down at you while you had gazed up at me.
I remember feeling shocked. You weren’t a day--
Not even a minute--old and you were already smiling.
Not a single tear rolled down your puffy cheeks
Nor did a single scream passed from your tiny lips.
You had small, small eyes that were the palest shade of shimmering
Sapphire. As I held you close, I would have sworn that there
Was a brilliant halo hanging high above your head.
Then a sudden thought had struck me,
Oh my god! What if I drop her?
You didn’t seem to mind when I clutched you
Tighter, although your mom certainly did.
But I didn’t want to take any chances.
After a moment, your pale, puny hand
Reached out for mine.
I could see then that you had a sweet soul,
A giving heart.
A “heart made out of candy” as I would tease you
In later years. Of course, you would roll
Your eyes and yell, “Dad!”
I had always imagined what your heart would look like.
I pictured you having a sugary foundation that
Was wrapped around by chocolate
With gumdrops, nerds, smarties, cotton candy, skittles,
Starbursts, twizzlers, and jelly beans
Mixed into the batter.
At that moment when you had reached out for me,
My own heart--which was minute and sour next to your
Rich one--swelled in happiness.
So today I only have one question
To ask you. I hope you say yes...
Will you be mine?
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141,378 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
Wow! This came at the right time
My name is Strange
To start off, I simply loved this. I'm really glad you wrote this. The love shows strong.
I really like this for the emotions. It really shows that you love the person. I guess that's the real important thing in this. Its all you really need in this.
Usually, other poems overuse clichés, emotions, or saying " I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!". This did really none of that
Overall, this is a good poem
Strange gives you...
8.7/10
Good job
Stay groovy
Hey dragonrider, first I want to say that I like your poem. It is very romantic, that can make a woman fall. I've pictured out that the girl is so very decent. That can't even break a man's heart. I hope that the girl will answer yes to the questions you've said.
A very romantic poem.. I like this one
First of all, I like the whole premise of this poem. It's so sweet, and really embodies the concept of Valentine's Day, which isn't to get a girlfriend. I liked that it was simple and nice.
I pictured you having a sugary foundation that
Was wrapped around by chocolate
With gumdrops, nerds, smarties, cotton candy, skittles,
Starbursts, twizzlers, and jelly beans
Mixed into the batter.
Great lines. Like I said, simple and sweet, literally. I liked it very much. The beginning of the poem sounds like it's just a story, broken up into lines, but I think you pull it all together at the end, rounding it off.
Thank you dragonrider!