Hey dragonnight! I'm a very spiritual and religious person myself, so was super pleased to see a little religious poetry here. Sometimes that takes a little courage to post in a mostly secular space, so I commend you for putting yourself out there too!
So here's a little review!
The poem seems to be a speaker wrestling with how wonderful God's love is and how it seems almost undeserved - they see the progress in their life and God's influence within it. The poem addressed many aspects of faith and it was difficult to find one singular story-line, but seemed like there were varied devotional points. While I liked the quote included at the end, in particular that seemed a little bit like an aside or like it could have been an author's note to not detract from the main testimony / messaging.
I was really happy to see you incorporated casual language with a few scriptural references and faith reflections, so often I see people try to write religious / devotional poems and try to add all these "thee" / "thine" like they are trying to sound like the KJV - and while that has a place, I think that your language actually gave this poem voice and to me made it sound more authentic and genuine like it was being told from lived experience and lived reflection which in turn made the poem more impactful to me.
I thought you did a terrific job with rhyming and keeping the lines even, I found myself thinking that apart from the final stanza you could almost make this poem into a song with how well the rhymes were flowing.
You also had a very solid theology in here - all about God's abundant love and grace and that was a consistent reflection all the way through. I particularly loved this line: "I see my death was arrested when my life in you began.". Great way to phrase that!
One "content" correction -> in the line "I feel like Paul, standing on the sea, about to drown." I am assuming you are referring to the story in Matthew 14 when one of Jesus' disciples is walking on water -> but that was Peter rather than Paul, so I think that might fit a little better in this line if that was what you were referring to.
Very small note but I think you could use a comma after "God" in the first line, to make it crystal clear that you are addressing rather than cursing. I thought other than that the punctuation wasn't distracting but seemed fairly consistent.
While overall your word choice was really good - there were three lines where you used "things" that I thought you could be a bit more specific or creative or use a better synonym. Here's the three lines:
The things of this world fill my mind and soul,
On every little thing I make up my mind to be.
So even when I fail and these worldly things consume,
I think there's a little aspect of this poem in some places feeling a little generic - about what exactly the person is fighting against, so that may be something to take a second look at as well to make this poem even more impactful.
Overall a terrific devotional poem that reads as coming from the heart with a lovely message and reflection.