Nara the panther girl sighed as she laid against Nightshade’s sleeping form. It was just turning dark, and the beautiful dragon was sleeping with her tail curled around Nara’s lower legs. Nara smiled as she looked away from the setting sun to her friend’s serene face. She looked so gentle and peaceful when she was sleeping. Even warm in the orange glow of the evening.
This was the last night she and Nightshade would spend together for a while. Her tribe was going on a big hunt together. Every two years the oudeers gave birth to hundreds of offspring and became distracted enough to hunt easily. It was a proving ground for young hunters, and she had to attend.
She stroked Nightshade’s scales sadly.
“I wish we had more time together. I hope we can do something especially fun tonight.” She sighed.
“And why is that?” Nightshade asked with a wide yawn showing off all her sharp teeth. Her eyes slowly fluttered open to look at Nara.
“Oh, well, there’s a hunt I have to attend with my tribe, so I won’t be able to come see you for a while.” Nara answered looking sadly at the sun as it disappeared over the horizon.
“Well then, I suppose we should have enough fun tonight to last you until the next time we meet. Hmmm?” Nightshade whispered in her ear with a sly look in her eye.
Nara knew that look well. Whatever Nightshade had in mind it was something new and involved either hypnosis or breaking rules of some kind. Most of the time she was cautious when it came to Nightshade’s mischievous escapades, but tonight she was hungry for a little adventure.
“Sounds like fun. What do you want to do?” Nara replied with an excited smile.
Nightshade smiled at her acceptance.
“I have a few ideas. I think it’s time to share a bit more about myself with you.” Nightshade began.
Nara’s eyes glimmered with excitement. Nightshade barely ever talked about herself. Most of their time was spent playing while Nara was under Nightshade’s spell and even during the times they hunted or swam in the small lake together she rarely talked about her past.
The most Nightshade had told her was that she had lived in a village of dragons in the center of the jungle, that all the other females had shiny scales that reflected a rainbow of soft colors, and that she had been banished from the village for using her powers on another dragon.
“But why talk when we can have a grand adventure?” Nightshade continued. “In your mind I can spin a fantastic tail of struggle, intrigue, adventure and romance. And I just happened to have come up with the perfect way to give you the perfect immersive experience.”
So, she’s going to hypnotise me and tell me a story. That might be interesting. Nara thought.
“On the other talon I have a wonderful secluded and secret spot in my village to show you. We’ll have to be a bit stealthy though since I’m not ‘really’ allowed back there anymore.” Nightshade said with such a mischievously innocent look that would make any mother give her a stern warning… right before she promptly ignored it.
A chance to see the tree wing village for myself! But what about learning more about Nightshade’s past? Argh. I don’t know what to choose. Nara thought.
“So, what would you like to do Nara? Go on an adventure in the mind? Or an adventure into the heart of the jungle. The tree wing village.” Nightshade offered. Nara was torn, but she had to make a decision.
“Hmmm. I choose…”
If you would like to see the hypnotised, story adventure read next (An adventure with Nightshade: Adventure in the Mind). If you want to get a better picture of the world and Nightshade's village read (An adventure with Nightshade: The tree wing village).
For a full picture of the story try reading both. In both stories there appears a very significant character to Nightshade. (It may be easier to make the connection if you read Adventure in the mind first but not too difficult). I love the moments in a story that you make a connection that is hidden from the characters. An unknown that you as the reader can figure out because you have the context from both stories/perspectives (or from earlier in the book). This set of three stories are my attempt to replicate that so please let me know if I suceeded in making that "aha" moment for you.
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If you have any comments for the Aha moment please leave them on this story
Ohh a cliffhanger-slash- choosing thing. (you know like choose your own adventure) This will be interesting! I will probably do in the mind, but maybe also in the tree/rain wing village? Yup, probably both! Also, I am making a sequel to the accidental magic!
I have loved this so far! I really like them all, but Nightshade is probably my favorite, even if she is kind of a villain. (maybe) also, sorry I have this submitted twice. (editing thing.)
keep up the good work...
-foxmaster
I love making connections with characters too! I’ll read the stories in the order that you recommend. The hypnosis one first and the Tree Wing one second. I have been liking the characters in this story so far. My favorite one is Lupita. She has a caring heart.
The Mind one will probably mention Nightshade’s lover. I can’t to read more about him!
I wish you a fabulous day and night.
Hello! I hope you are having a great day or night!
It's really neat what you've done here! I always loved Choose Your Own Adventure Novels when I was younger, and this is a super cool take on the genre! I look forward to reading both diverging paths and learning what this 'aha' moment is. I agree that dramatic irony is one of the best tools at an authors disposal. That's what you're describing here-
-where the reader knows something the character doesn't. It's one of my favorite literary techniques in fiction!
I don't entirely trust Nightshade. Though we don't have the full context for her banishment, I get the vibe that it was for a very good reason. I may prove wrong though! I look forward to seeing where you take it.
The opening paragraphs of this story could've been a tad stronger. Exposition is one of the most annoying things we have to write, and it can be difficult to strike a balance between showing and telling. In this regard, I think you actually did an excellent job! However, you also did it twice:
These passages, in such close proximity, read as a tad repetitive. I would highly recommend cutting one or the other, or at least make significant changes so that they provide different information for the reader.
I really liked your description of the sunset, and how that played into your description of Nightshade:
However, I would've liked to see more of that. There was a lot that could've been done with the dragon's description, and you didn't really touch on Nara's appearance at all. Though I don't mind vaguer descriptions, some of your other readers might.
That's just my opinion, though! As always, feel free to disregard it if you disagree!
All in all, this was really excellent! You left us on a great cliffhanger. I'm very concerned for Nara's wellbeing, and hope she makes it out of both paths alright.
You did a great job characterizing both the protagonist and her dragon, and I look forward to seeing what kind of trouble they'll get up to! With all that said, keep on writing, and have a great day/night!