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Young Writers Society


16+ Language

The Many Gifts of Malia--Part 100: "The Brood"

by dragonfphoenix


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Smooth scales slithered across my mouth. It was a comfortable sensation until tiny, clawed feet scampered across my face, poking my eyes and nose. A small, bundled weight bounced off my stomach, skittering away in a flurry of hisses. Claws raked my face in answer as the creature on my face darted after whatever was scampering across the flagstones. Groaning, I slowly opened my eyes.

The air smelled like my maas, although the creamy white pavilion I lay under was new. My bones moaned in protest as I rolled on my side, my ribs audibly creaking. Everything hurt to move, including my knees, which had thankfully returned along with my legs during my slumber.

Propped up on my elbow, I found the source of the disturbance to be two emerald-scaled lizards, no bigger than kittens. They had the most ridiculous proportions, with the coordinated grace of very young juveniles. Stumbling along on stubby legs, they had round bodies with stumpy tails and necks longer than their bodies and tails combined. Golden frills ridged their angular heads, and one snapped its tiny, triangular teeth at the other, which held a strip of worn leather in its mouth.

A silver portal snapped open in my peripheral vision, and Phemonoe stumbled through it. “Gods damn it, you little devil! Get back–Charax?”

“Hi.” I settled on my side, watching the empty-mouthed lizard pounce on its companion. They tussled, but the one who’d stolen the leather refused to surrender its prize. Lots of snarling and snapping ensued.

Phemonoe sighed and slipped over to scoop them up. “I’m glad you’re awake again. They’ve been almost as much trouble as Malia.”

No sooner had she spoken the name than the violet of Malia’s portal arced in the air, shearing the space by the fountain. It was hard to miss how upset she was, what with the flurry of sparks flying from her normally precise portal, the agitation twanging our bond, and the furious scowl on her blood-flecked face as she emerged through the rent. Before I got a chance to say anything, she collided with me and wrapped me in a tight squeeze. “You stupid dumbass.”

“Love you, too. Hurts to breathe,” I gasped.

Snakes writhing, she pushed herself up and glared at me. “You deserve it.” She snuck a quick swipe at her eyes before flashing me a fang-filled smile. “Did you miss the part where you fell out of the sky with half your body gone? And then didn’t wake up for two years?”

I blinked. “That long?”

“Yeah.” She jerked a nod, lines crinkling the corners of her eyes as she strained at the wetness. “Phe’s been keeping an eye on your mind, when she isn’t chasing the twins, to make sure you healed properly.”

“Where did they come from?” I glanced over at the lizards, who’d mostly settled down in the Oracle’s arms. One was laying primly, nestled in her elbow, but the other had dropped its leather scrap in favor of chewing on her sleeve.

“Hasda’s brood.” Her mouth quirked as she said it, a twist that conveyed an underlying meaning I didn’t quite catch. “But, more importantly, now that you’re awake, Phe can finally tell us about whatever was so important she had to wait until you came to.”

I put a finger on her lips and tilted in the Oracle’s direction. “What do you mean, Malia’s been trouble?”

After setting the hydras down, Phemonoe folded her hands in front of her and gave me a weary smile. “We now occupy all of Aenea and half the land from it to Sunai. Further, Carthian ships have been harassing the Paeden coastline from the Aenean ports all the way up the islands. And she’s been trying to get Seppo to launch his ship towards the Stitcher for at least a year now.”

I glanced back at Malia, who rolled her eyes.

“I don’t mope,” she growled around my finger.

Grunting, I strained up and kissed her jaw. “When have you ever?”

Her tail thumped against the bed. “So, about that prophecy of yours.”

Phemonoe dropped her gaze. “I…couldn’t reveal much before. But I explained that to Charax.”

“You did.” I struggled back up on my elbows as Malia shifted to lay across my lap. “I take it the danger is passed?”

“Some of it.” She rubbed her wrist. “Well, we’re out of the shallows now.”

“So what can you tell us?” Malia’s wings shivered.

Shaking her head, Phe folded her arms and pursed her lips. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. The branches that have been pruned involved your latest confrontation with the Sea Mother.” Her eyes took on a haunted look as she spoke. “I saw paths where the Sea Mother broke free and conquered all, where Jade was taken and forced into her proxy, where…where Hasda fell in combat, Charax.”

Malia and I stared at her blankly.

She laughed nervously, her breath shaking. “And those are the milder ones. The further into the depths we go, the worse the vision gets.”

“How bad?” Malia’s voice was hard.

Phemonoe shook her head. “I cannot say.” She held up a hand before Malia could protest. “This vision was not a normal divination. I could see myself talking with Charax before you went to Tingid, and one errant word would send the augury splintering into a dozen fume-filled pits. The paths would overlap, so even mentioning the danger to Hasda could lead to his maiming, or blindness, or death. Ends where he and Jade never met again, or her mind was so broken from the Sea Mother’s control that she’d lost herself and left him heartbroken.” Tears pooled in her eyes. “It is so hard to see what I can say without breaking things.”

“But you’re revealing this now,” Malia said, the edge in her tone dulled.

Letting her head fall back, Phemonoe blew a breath into the air. “I can see one road clearly now. Hasda will not die before becoming the next Carthian hero, so long as he concludes his Trials.”

Malia’s fangs clicked together. “So he must remain on the path of his Trials? What if he fails them? Or we send him against the Sea Mother as his Trial?”

Phemonoe laughed and shook her head. “The natural path of his Trials, and that alone. Sending him on a suicide mission will kill him, so don’t do that.”

“The Stitcher has an army of undead, correct?” I shifted my weight, grunting at the soreness in my wrists. “Recovering the Staff that the Stitcher stole was supposed to be his Third Trial. So he can just complete it with impunity?”

Frowning, Phemonoe searched our faces. “No. Just because he is safe from death doesn’t mean he's immune from all harm. But…I can say this. Whatever happens, the Stitcher will be his final Trial. He will either be worthy of being a hero, or incapable of filling the role.”

Malia hummed and stroked my leg. “I’ll make some adjustments, then.”

A pair of splashes sounded from the fountain, followed by frothing water and snarling and snapping. The hydras hissed at each other, heads protruding from the water like swamp monsters. While they tried to puff themselves up and look intimidating, they lacked the fangs to put any bite behind their nips. A lunge, and the pair disappeared beneath the water.

“Kas! Mar!” Phemonoe darted over and dragged them out of the fountain, doing her best to disentangle them. “Honestly, you two are the worst.”

“When did they hatch?” I asked as Malia curled closer.

“Mm, a month or so ago.” Her wing grazed my back as she settled. “The male, Kas, has already eaten three of Phaeus’ skewers and a quarter of an anvil. Mar is a princess by comparison.”

“And Hasda isn’t raising his own because?”

She gave me a sly side-eye. “He’s training with the troops I’ve mustered in Frischii. It was the only way I could get him and Jade apart.”

I grunted. “And they needed to be separated, why?”

“I’ll have you know I very nearly gave him ambrosia.” Her smile blended coyness with annoyance. “But I thought you’d want a say in that, given how outspoken you were about it last time.”

“He wasn’t ready for it then!”

“And now?” She gave me a slow, meaningful blink.

I paused. Giving him ambrosia would push him towards demigodhood, although he wouldn’t be able to cross the border fully until he’d finished his Trials. But, perhaps, with the boost from the heavenly food, he could wield celestial steel. The fact that Malia had waited to discuss this with me meant she was less likely to carelessly throw him away, but getting some divinity in him wouldn’t hurt.

“While you’re ruminating, here’s another straw to chew on.” She sighed and tucked her wings on her back, the feathers tickling my stomach. Her snakes hid her face from me. “I laid an egg.”

“You what???”

“Am I interrupting something?” Phemonoe held the dripping hydras in the air, one in each hand.

Malia smiled at her. “Not at all. Go send those to Jade and tell her to expect me. Charax and I have something we need to discuss in private.”

The Oracle gave us a look that said she thought that a thinly-veiled excuse, but she opened her silver portal and took the hydras with her, leaving us alone.


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Sat Mar 04, 2023 7:33 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well after a long time I've finally gotten back around to this :]. Glad to see this pick up again and from a pretty interesting spot too given we've essentially skipped two years forward. I can't wait to discover the state of things alongside Charax, already it looks like so much has happened and not just in battle.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Smooth scales slithered across my mouth. It was a comfortable sensation until tiny, clawed feet scampered across my face, poking my eyes and nose. A small, bundled weight bounced off my stomach, skittering away in a flurry of hisses. Claws raked my face in answer as the creature on my face darted after whatever was scampering across the flagstones. Groaning, I slowly opened my eyes.

The air smelled like my maas, although the creamy white pavilion I lay under was new. My bones moaned in protest as I rolled on my side, my ribs audibly creaking. Everything hurt to move, including my knees, which had thankfully returned along with my legs during my slumber.

Propped up on my elbow, I found the source of the disturbance to be two emerald-scaled lizards, no bigger than kittens. They had the most ridiculous proportions, with the coordinated grace of very young juveniles. Stumbling along on stubby legs, they had round bodies with stumpy tails and necks longer than their bodies and tails combined. Golden frills ridged their angular heads, and one snapped its tiny, triangular teeth at the other, which held a strip of worn leather in its mouth.


Well that's quite the way to wake up there. Given where Charax was right before this moment, I guess this is still not as bad as it could be, and it does seem like these little lizards here are fairly cute if not the most cuddly judging from those claws.

A silver portal snapped open in my peripheral vision, and Phemonoe stumbled through it. “Gods damn it, you little devil! Get back–Charax?”

“Hi.” I settled on my side, watching the empty-mouthed lizard pounce on its companion. They tussled, but the one who’d stolen the leather refused to surrender its prize. Lots of snarling and snapping ensued.

Phemonoe sighed and slipped over to scoop them up. “I’m glad you’re awake again. They’ve been almost as much trouble as Malia.”


Well it looks like there's no shortage of concern there, which is pretty reasonable given how injured Charax happened to be here. At the very least judging by that reaction Charax is now clearly somewhat better if not healed enough to be considering mildly healthy.

No sooner had she spoken the name than the violet of Malia’s portal arced in the air, shearing the space by the fountain. It was hard to miss how upset she was, what with the flurry of sparks flying from her normally precise portal, the agitation twanging our bond, and the furious scowl on her blood-flecked face as she emerged through the rent. Before I got a chance to say anything, she collided with me and wrapped me in a tight squeeze. “You stupid dumbass.”

“Love you, too. Hurts to breathe,” I gasped.

Snakes writhing, she pushed herself up and glared at me. “You deserve it.” She snuck a quick swipe at her eyes before flashing me a fang-filled smile. “Did you miss the part where you fell out of the sky with half your body gone? And then didn’t wake up for two years?”

I blinked. “That long?”


OH WOW. Two is certainly a lot of years. I suppose that little repelling of the attack must've been pretty good if they can afford for Charax to take a two year nap. You can definitely feel those two years having gone by in how enthusiastically Malia hugs Charax there. Well I can't wait to find out what's happened in the meantime. And its also just great to see these two reunited here.

“Yeah.” She jerked a nod, lines crinkling the corners of her eyes as she strained at the wetness. “Phe’s been keeping an eye on your mind, when she isn’t chasing the twins, to make sure you healed properly.”

“Where did they come from?” I glanced over at the lizards, who’d mostly settled down in the Oracle’s arms. One was laying primly, nestled in her elbow, but the other had dropped its leather scrap in favor of chewing on her sleeve.

“Hasda’s brood.” Her mouth quirked as she said it, a twist that conveyed an underlying meaning I didn’t quite catch. “But, more importantly, now that you’re awake, Phe can finally tell us about whatever was so important she had to wait until you came to.”

I put a finger on her lips and tilted in the Oracle’s direction. “What do you mean, Malia’s been trouble?”


Well that offhand comment about a brood has me SCREAMING. Besides that loving the little details that you throw in here to make sure we know quite how worried Malia was there and its wonderful to see them settle into that banter so quickly as it seems we're about to get some potentially bad news here.

After setting the hydras down, Phemonoe folded her hands in front of her and gave me a weary smile. “We now occupy all of Aenea and half the land from it to Sunai. Further, Carthian ships have been harassing the Paeden coastline from the Aenean ports all the way up the islands. And she’s been trying to get Seppo to launch his ship towards the Stitcher for at least a year now.”

I glanced back at Malia, who rolled her eyes.

“I don’t mope,” she growled around my finger.

Grunting, I strained up and kissed her jaw. “When have you ever?”

Her tail thumped against the bed. “So, about that prophecy of yours.”

Phemonoe dropped her gaze. “I…couldn’t reveal much before. But I explained that to Charax.”


Hmm well that's a nice little status report to catch us up. Its interesting to see this from Charax's point of view digesting all this information after two years of being asleep because its been a few months for us readers too and we're kind of same boat. I don't know if this is enhancing the experience a little, but I am appreciating these little references and reminders.

“You did.” I struggled back up on my elbows as Malia shifted to lay across my lap. “I take it the danger is passed?”

“Some of it.” She rubbed her wrist. “Well, we’re out of the shallows now.”

“So what can you tell us?” Malia’s wings shivered.

Shaking her head, Phe folded her arms and pursed her lips. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. The branches that have been pruned involved your latest confrontation with the Sea Mother.” Her eyes took on a haunted look as she spoke. “I saw paths where the Sea Mother broke free and conquered all, where Jade was taken and forced into her proxy, where…where Hasda fell in combat, Charax.”

Malia and I stared at her blankly.


Well that sounds about right given the kind of scale of battle we were and well we are looking at. At the very least we can be glad that these horrible branches in the battle earlier didn't end up happening. And hopefully it will remain that way for the foreseeable future.

She laughed nervously, her breath shaking. “And those are the milder ones. The further into the depths we go, the worse the vision gets.”

“How bad?” Malia’s voice was hard.

Phemonoe shook her head. “I cannot say.” She held up a hand before Malia could protest. “This vision was not a normal divination. I could see myself talking with Charax before you went to Tingid, and one errant word would send the augury splintering into a dozen fume-filled pits. The paths would overlap, so even mentioning the danger to Hasda could lead to his maiming, or blindness, or death. Ends where he and Jade never met again, or her mind was so broken from the Sea Mother’s control that she’d lost herself and left him heartbroken.” Tears pooled in her eyes. “It is so hard to see what I can say without breaking things.”

“But you’re revealing this now,” Malia said, the edge in her tone dulled.


Well I suppose its a good sign this is now being revealed because it means Hasda is no longer in danger or at least Phemonoe has finally figured out how to not make Hasda be in danger. Well not be in danger of dying. I'm sure even the best option is going involve Hasda being in danger.

Letting her head fall back, Phemonoe blew a breath into the air. “I can see one road clearly now. Hasda will not die before becoming the next Carthian hero, so long as he concludes his Trials.”

Malia’s fangs clicked together. “So he must remain on the path of his Trials? What if he fails them? Or we send him against the Sea Mother as his Trial?”

Phemonoe laughed and shook her head. “The natural path of his Trials, and that alone. Sending him on a suicide mission will kill him, so don’t do that.”


OOooh that's a nice little ultimatum honestly. Getting Hasda to complete the Trials is definitely a good thing for him in general so if that also manages to work as the way to keep him alive that'll work beautifully.

“The Stitcher has an army of undead, correct?” I shifted my weight, grunting at the soreness in my wrists. “Recovering the Staff that the Stitcher stole was supposed to be his Third Trial. So he can just complete it with impunity?”

Frowning, Phemonoe searched our faces. “No. Just because he is safe from death doesn’t mean he's immune from all harm. But…I can say this. Whatever happens, the Stitcher will be his final Trial. He will either be worthy of being a hero, or incapable of filling the role.”

Malia hummed and stroked my leg. “I’ll make some adjustments, then.”


Well that's quite the little chess game there. I have a feeling that's going to turn out to be quite interesting to see the way it turns out. Definitely a lot more stakes will be riding on that trial that it seemed when this whole trial business was just starting out.

A pair of splashes sounded from the fountain, followed by frothing water and snarling and snapping. The hydras hissed at each other, heads protruding from the water like swamp monsters. While they tried to puff themselves up and look intimidating, they lacked the fangs to put any bite behind their nips. A lunge, and the pair disappeared beneath the water.

“Kas! Mar!” Phemonoe darted over and dragged them out of the fountain, doing her best to disentangle them. “Honestly, you two are the worst.”

“When did they hatch?” I asked as Malia curled closer.

“Mm, a month or so ago.” Her wing grazed my back as she settled. “The male, Kas, has already eaten three of Phaeus’ skewers and a quarter of an anvil. Mar is a princess by comparison.”


Aww well that's a cute little pair there. I have no doubt we're pretty soon going to have plenty of cute antics to remember as we see more and more of them. The detail there about who has had to raise them is an interesting one. It does make sense given Hasda and Jade's current occupation but its still interesting to consider all the implications behind it.

“And Hasda isn’t raising his own because?”

She gave me a sly side-eye. “He’s training with the troops I’ve mustered in Frischii. It was the only way I could get him and Jade apart.”

I grunted. “And they needed to be separated, why?”

“I’ll have you know I very nearly gave him ambrosia.” Her smile blended coyness with annoyance. “But I thought you’d want a say in that, given how outspoken you were about it last time.”

“He wasn’t ready for it then!”

“And now?” She gave me a slow, meaningful blink.


Oooh well this is an interesting little thing to throw towards us. Hasda and Jade having to be separated definitely calls for further investigation and now this little dilemma is another quite interesting addition to the mix of things. I feel like we're not getting the answers within this chapter.

I paused. Giving him ambrosia would push him towards demigodhood, although he wouldn’t be able to cross the border fully until he’d finished his Trials. But, perhaps, with the boost from the heavenly food, he could wield celestial steel. The fact that Malia had waited to discuss this with me meant she was less likely to carelessly throw him away, but getting some divinity in him wouldn’t hurt.

“While you’re ruminating, here’s another straw to chew on.” She sighed and tucked her wings on her back, the feathers tickling my stomach. Her snakes hid her face from me. “I laid an egg.”

“You what???”

“Am I interrupting something?” Phemonoe held the dripping hydras in the air, one in each hand.

Malia smiled at her. “Not at all. Go send those to Jade and tell her to expect me. Charax and I have something we need to discuss in private.”

The Oracle gave us a look that said she thought that a thinly-veiled excuse, but she opened her silver portal and took the hydras with her, leaving us alone.


Well that's quite the combination of cliffhangers to leave us on wow. Even without an actual battle happening we've got some very interesting details just thrown right at us. Well now I just have to figure out what this all means.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, a lovely piece to hit that wonderful three figure milestone with. Can't wait to see where we go from here. It looks like there's a lot more mysteries to learn about a lot of solutions to explore for the ones we already had.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate




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Wed Feb 22, 2023 2:18 am
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Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

Sorry it took me so long to get around to reviewing this piece! I'm very excited to be back with Charax and Malia and see how the rest of the story plays out!

I loved the way you eased us back into the story. I enjoyed the little tussles of Kas and Mar—it's definitely a sweet contrast to the drama and philosophy of the last few scenes from before Charax's hiatus. It's also a great way to show that time has passed, with the new life—this definitely feels like a birth/rebirth scene, which is a great scene to start on.

I also loved Malia and Charax's reunion—I missed those two and their dynamic. Their little moments of intimacy in this chapter were super sweet and very much appreciated, especially given their long time apart (and my time apart from them). Especially now that Malia has an egg, I'm looking forward to seeing how their relationship changes (or, honestly, stays blissfully the same) as that whole ordeal progresses.

I'm also looking forward to seeing how Hasda has changed, especially cause for the most part, he's on a normal human timeline. It sounds like he's becoming more powerful by the day, and given what Phemonoe said, it seems like he's fated to be the focal point of whatever battle comes their way next.

Specifics

Propped up on my elbow, I found the source of the disturbance to be two emerald-scaled lizards, no bigger than kittens. They had the most ridiculous proportions, with the coordinated grace of very young juveniles. Stumbling along on stubby legs, they had round bodies with stumpy tails and necks longer than their bodies and tails combined. Golden frills ridged their angular heads, and one snapped its tiny, triangular teeth at the other, which held a strip of worn leather in its mouth.


I really loved the way you described Kas and Mar at the beginning. Not only was it a great sensory hook to get back into the chapter and the story, it's a very original and fun scene to start on, and your descriptions convey the Disney-animal-sidekick level of awkwardness of the baby hydras.

“While you’re ruminating, here’s another straw to chew on.” She sighed and tucked her wings on her back, the feathers tickling my stomach. Her snakes hid her face from me. “I laid an egg.”


Whoa! That's certainly a curveball to wake up to. Not sure what exactly will come out of the egg at this point, but I look forward to learning more about what it implies later on!

“You what???”


The use of three question marks felt a little too colloquial and excessive to me here; I feel like as a general principle, it's better to use just one.

Overall: great job reintroducing us back into the story and setting up what plot might follow later on. This was the perfect scene to open back up on; I really appreciated how you didn't throw us back into the action right away and allowed us to have some sweet moments with the characters instead. I look forward to reading and reviewing further! Until next time!





The first thing I do when I have a good quote is always to put a goat in it. uwu
— Liminality