holding you

Hi! I read this when you first published it and loved it so much, I knew I had to come back and give it a review.

I like how you never clarify who 'they' are, or who the poem is about. My original interpretation was that it was perhaps about a baby sibling who had passed away, and the narrator was taking comfort in the fact that the baby was just too good for his world. Especially in the lines:

you were simply too much
too much for the hands
that never learned
how to hold you

Because it made me imagine that the parents were inexperienced, or did not try hard enough, and never looked after the baby properly.

Then upon a reread, I wondered if perhaps it was about a younger sibling who was given away as a baby and adopted by another family, and the narrator was imagining what it was like for them to receive the love and care of that family. In the first stanza:

i wonder still
how it felt like to be there
how many toys you had
or how many stories you heard
did you listen lullabies to sleep
did they cradle you well

(also i think you mean to say, did you listen TO lullabies to sleep)

That the 'they' here is clearly taking care of the child, so i read that as adoptive parents, reading it stories and cradling it, and then the next stanza is about ' hands / that never learned / how to hold you' I wondered if these hands were the birth parents.

Then, I read Alex and Valkyria's reviews and realised it could also be about a sibling who grew up and left home because they did not get on with their parents. 'they weren't atlas' is such a brilliant line, and really evokes the imagery of someone who deserves to be held up like atlas did the earth. But it also made me think that it is a big ask to assume someone should carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, and this is maybe an expectation the parents could never meet, and the child still left. Especially since the beginning mentions that they spread joy everywhere, perhaps they were too much to handle and couldn't accept that. It made me think of a friend of mine who struggled with a lot of mental health issues and though his parents tried their best, it was never enough for him and he left home due to that, even though they loved him dearly, they couldn't not provide that help.

I think it's very clever how all these interpretations could work, and I wonder what your true interpretation was when you wrote it? A very beautiful and touching poem!

Hey there, doppowitch! This is Alex, and I'll be reviewing your poetry though. I've been seeing you around a lot recently, and I thought- what better way to welcome you than let you know how much I loved your work? Let's get started~

the miracle you were
the joy you spread everywhere

I'm fairly surprised you were able to make me think of a child so effortlessly here. The later line could be taken in context for a deceased loved one, but the 'miracle' in the former line really clears stuff off. You say little and convey much- commendable!

i wonder still
how it felt like to be there

Sensing a tinge of regret here, but it only slightly aches. Did the narrator make a concious choice of not being in their kid's life? If so, why? We may never truly know, but we're free to speculate. I don't think the words are backed down by guilt though, so it seems that there was no real choice in the matter. Perhaps someone with a demanding job (in the army perhaps) had to abandon their child for something bigger? I'm sensing it's from a mother's perspective, given the tender words.

how many toys you had
or how many stories you heard

This made shivers run down my spine! It seems the parent has been absent from their kid's life- intentionally or unintentionally. With how beautifully things are phrased, I'm leaning towards this being out of their hand. I also get the hint that it's the narrator who's dead, wondering how the child fared without them. And if that idea isn't all too good in itself!

did they cradle you well
you were simply too much
too much for the hands
that never learned
how to hold you

Oh, I can't tell you how much I loved this part. The portrayal of care is surreal! A parent is worried their child may have been not treated with the same gentle hands they would've, if they could've nurtured them instead. It really establishes the bond of a parent of child, reigning over distance and time. It also signifies that the child needs careful parenting, and they might've matured before they should've, as they never had someone to protect them so fiercely.

you were the prettiest
prettiest shade of blue
perhaps the sea, or the sky
maybe that's why they couldn't hold you
they weren't atlas
and you were the giant blue
that held it all

The love the parent holds for their child is so obvious here! They never blame the ones who couldn't care for him all too well, and instead acknowledge their limitations. The child was the sky, and only the parent could cradle them as gently as they deserved to be. I had to search up the reference about atlas, but I think it was pretty cool. It's like saying the child was too special to be held right by normal people, who were bound to find the job overwhelming.

Overall, this was beautiful! Simple, yet powerful. The ambiguity of what actually happened puts me off the slightest, but that's because I'm only starting to get accustomed with the 'open to interpretation' themes. Also, I'm not too sure I decoded the story so far, and I might be completely in the wrong here. But either way, this was totally worth reading! That's all I have for now. Keep writing, until next time~

Love, Alex