Published August 12, 2026
roams around my mind
knows its way very well
must be a really different kind
the kind that hides in a shell
walks in a straight line
crawls weirdly under the skin
comes back right on time
making my head spin
wondering where
where did you come from?
out of my very own nightmare
the monster you will become
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141,521 Literary Works • 674,839 Reviews
ooh this gives off bachira from blue lock LMAO hehe i like your writing style alot its very simple but it's nice that way get it? like i think its catchy af, good poem keep writing!!
Hello! Just a quick comment-- your poem really captured such good imagery and details, I can imagine very clearly. Keep writing, my friend!
thankyouu:3
I kind of relate to this poem i think . For me the monster is my anxiety also i really liked the way you expressed it like "the kind that hides In a shell " ( i think you're talking about the skull? I'm not sure)
"Crawls weirdly under the skin"(the rush of blood through your veins when your about to have a panic attack or the way your want to tear up your own skin when your loved ones tells you how big of a disappointment you are?)
"Comes back right on time " (after reading this i remembered a favorite book of mine it As Long As The Lemon Trees Grow and there was a character who was the main characters hallucination)
Anyways this was my first ever review and all the writings I've read so far is fantastic and they are written with so much love and effort i just want you to know that you are also one of them please keep writing . Thank you
i will try, thank you so much!!
This is a verry good poem
Hello!
This is a great poem! The lack of punctuation and the incomplete sentences work very well in this type of poem. It effectively shows the unsettling nature that is happening to the narrator. By the second stanza, we're diving straight into horror.
The last line implies that the creature (or monster) the narrator is referring to actually themself. It's the narrator's intrusive/negative thoughts that are consuming their life, feeling like something is crawling under their skin, getting headaches. If they believe that the monster is inside them, then it also adds a feeling of hopelessness to the poem.
Great work!
thank you smm!
Hello!!
I really love the structure of the first two stanzas - those slippery, subject-less phrases are so disorienting and disconcerting. It communicates the horror of what is happening really effectively! There is no origin point, there is no specific cause or person that it can be blamed on!
I like these lines in particular! If I was going to nitpick, I think 'really' doesn't fit with the register of the rest of poem (and the casualness isn't accomplishing much), but other than that, this is a fantastic pair of lines. The ambiguity of 'different kind' is so engaging. Hiding in a shell leads in nicely to the movement metaphor of the next stanza, too.
I love how the subject-less phrases here shift from being about the negative thoughts to being about the speaker - prefiguring the fact that they were coming from the speaker all along.
My biggest problem with this poem is that I don't like the last two lines. They wrap everything up a bit too neatly for my tastes, providing an explanation and wrapping up all the confusion. The ambiguity of this poem's earlier stanzas is its greatest strength, in my opinion - I'd encourage you not to give the reader an easy answer, and instead keep them in the grip of it!
Great work!
thank you so much!!
From what I can tell, this poem is about one's negative thoughts and feelings tormenting one's mind. I like how you describe the negativity as something that goes "under the skin" and might end up becoming a terrifying being from one's "own nightmare" if it keeps existing. It is difficult to get rid of a "monster" when the "monster" lives in your mind. This is good writing!
thank you!!
Great piece of writing, I feel it under my skin as I read, great use of imagery, I am still wondering though what really this monstrosity is, you say it is like something that keeps in a shell but then in a minute it is under your skin, damn!...goose bumps all over me wondering what really this is.
Generally, you have done a wonderful job, started from where I didn't expect, ended where I didn't expect and somehow still manage to keep me guessing, great work, buddy.
thank you thank youu