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Young Writers Society



catharsis (missing what's not yours)

by dissonance


i was told long hair was for girls,
and girls were for pretty boys you'd see in magazines.
that's life. everything has to be simplistic
or else no one would care.

it took me a year and six months
to process our differences;
i wanted to be something like him
and it was frightening. i didn't want to be him though, 
just something close to it. i wanted to
shrink myself down and crawl inside his skeleton. 

she wasn't like me though.
she wanted to spend all summer with him,
to try and spell out his name with
all of the stars in the sky.

she loved him, and there was no denying it.
i think i wasn't able to love him,
at least in a way we both would've understood.
i had never met someone who loved the way i did;
i thought he was perfect because
he was just like his father.

sometimes i like to think we could've
been good together, but pretty boys were for girls.
i have always been something uglier,
something far too monstrous. 


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26 Reviews


Points: 1100
Reviews: 26

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Tue Oct 03, 2023 12:48 am
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envy wrote a review...



this poem really gets into the nitty-gritty of identity & all the messy stuff that comes with it. the contrasting experiences of the speaker & the pretty boy are especially interesting to me. the fear of not wanting to be exactly like someone but still wishing you could be close to them is all-encompassing.

the contrast between the speaker & the female is where the romantic themes come in. the speakers realization that they couldnt love the pretty boy in the same way adds depth to their character & highlights the uniqueness of their own ability to love. id like to see a little more about her though. she appears out of nowhere in the middle stanzas without any preparation beforehand.

youve got a good structure going on. the short & punchy stanzas keep the narrative moving along nicely. your usage of enjambment allows for clear progression of thought between each stanza as well. it gives the reader time to think about what theyve read, but also keeps the storyline going.

this poem is rich with thought-provoking imagery. it comes on very suddenly though. id suggest connecting it within the stanzas more.

envy




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8 Reviews


Points: 471
Reviews: 8

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Mon Oct 02, 2023 7:44 am
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anasahmad4565 wrote a review...



Your reflection on societal expectations and stereotypes challenges the idea of simplicity and conformity. It's a thought-provoking expression of individuality and self-acceptance, which can resonate with those who value authenticity and breaking free from stereotypes. Reviewers may appreciate your willingness to question norms and encourage a more inclusive and open-minded perspective on gender and appearance.so yeah I love tge first paragraph it was the most exquisite paragraph, i love this.




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Points: 162
Reviews: 2

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Mon Oct 02, 2023 5:51 am
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Lesedisiya3nele says...



Well, hello there!
In your poem I sense feelings of inadequacy created by societal beauty standards. Your expression of this is pretty cool!





All the turtles are related.
— Jack Hanna