Young Writers Society

Hello chi~♡ twa here to leave ya a review! Happy review day :3

Tea Base: The first impression. What did I think about this when I read it first?
I always find that titles and first lines make the motif. And starting with the lines:

i still long for nausea
in tongues and on couches. i am a simple man.

i think i could relive the same day over and over --
the sickness in my gut drifting off to the rise
and fall of your diaphragm, your heart
beating to the rhythm of mine. 

my skin allows me to feel beautiful things
and i accept them with open arms. there is no guarantee
that life will be kind; no promise of a new beginning,
another childhood, another true love. 

but when i wake up, i still see you.
no, i do not get tired of it. 

...there is no guarantee
that life will be kind; no promise of a new beginning,
another childhood, another true love.

wow your poetry never ceases to amaze me

Hey there creaturefeature! Your description says this could be poetry and I definitely see that it is! Let's get into my commentary. I like to comment on poetry by stanza so this will be no exception.

For starters, your words capture a profound longing and a simplicity that feels beautifully human and relatable. The desire for that feeling of nausea, experienced in the rawness of intimacy, is both vivid and evocative. It's a unique way of expressing a yearning for the intensity of emotions, even if they come with a touch of discomfort. I find this longing to be something I never realized I have experienced until reading this!

The idea of reliving a day, centered around the visceral connection with another person, is a romantic and deeply personal notion. As a romantic at heart, I absolutely swoon over that visualization. The imagery of the sickness in your gut transitioning to the shared rhythm of heartbeats is both poetic and intimate, painting a picture of a connection that goes beyond the surface. You have analogies/metaphors that jump off the screen as you read them almost like a heartbeat! WOW!

The acknowledgment of the unpredictability of life, the absence of guarantees, and the understanding that not every chapter comes with a fresh start or a new love adds a layer of realism to your reflections. It's a mature perspective on life's uncertainties and the acceptance that comes with it. You have definitely inspired me!

Your appreciation for the simple beauty in life, felt through your skin and embraced with open arms, is a powerful sentiment. The final lines, expressing the continual joy in waking up to the sight of a loved one, convey a sense of enduring love and contentment. It's a refreshing and heartwarming perspective, emphasizing the constancy of that connection in your life.

Overall, your writing beautifully captures the complexities of human emotions and the profound significance of genuine connections. It's a testament to the depth of your feelings and your ability to articulate them in a way that feels authentic and relatable. I loved this. Wishing you well wherever you are in the world.

╔═.♥.══════╗
With love, a
╚══════.♥.═╝