z

Young Writers Society



always forgetting with you

by dissonance


i will imagine myself
into the softness of you, into the moments
where everything falls away and my fingertips wade
through your curls. you touch me
and it's gentle, almost enough that it feels like
the most beautiful thing in the world.

fundamentally, i think
we are all chasing something like this,
finite. i think that means i get to love you harder,
or maybe for the rest of my life. 

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71 Reviews

Points: 6464
Reviews: 71

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Fri Dec 22, 2023 2:05 am
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Youbeaucupid wrote a review...



Hi there Writer! Thought I'd fly over a quick review!! (I'm a little late but a review nonetheless!! ヾ(≧▽≦*)o)

First, I want to state how beautifully you capture the essence of love and connection. Your imagery of "imagining oneself into the softness" of someone really evokes a sense of intimacy and tenderness. also the gentle touches and exploration of the partner's curls gives us a sense of wonder and appreciation for the beauty found in such tender moments!

Your poem also delves into the universal human desire to seek and chase meaningful connections, highlighting the limited and infinite nature of these moments. Your message towards loving someone harder or for the rest of one's life is such a powerful and beautiful testament to the depth of the person's emotions and the intensity of the connection they feel towards their partner.

Overall, your poem was wonderfully written! I felt such a happy, and calming sensation while reading this!! Well done <3

Fly high Writer, Cupid.




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82 Reviews

Points: 123
Reviews: 82

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Fri Dec 15, 2023 12:44 am
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Ley wrote a review...



Hiya! Ley here to review.<3

First impressions... I love romantic poems! I was drawn it automatically after the first two lines. I also noticed how you took a minimal approach to this piece!

When I was reading this I felt... Bubbly, happy. This poem has a some what positive vibe, especially if we consider the way the narrator talked about their significant other. This was the perfect love poem.

My favorite line/quote is...

i will imagine myself
into the softness of you, into the moments
where everything falls away and my fingertips wade


I chose the first three lines in this poem as my favorite because it locked me in right away. The descriptiveness-- oh my. I literally felt my own fingertips melt away. I felt exactly how the narrator described, and that's a hard thing to do in poetry! it takes practice and trial and error.

Some things I would change would be... This is just a suggestion, and it's all up to you because I still think it's perfect as is, but maybe split the first stanza into two? I feel like it would make it look aesthetically pleasing! Other than that, I couldn't find any grammar mistakes, it flowed fluently, and the use of punctuation was genius and really set the vibe for this piece! :D

Overall... I really enjoyed this poem. It was the perfect representation of loving someone so much that you want to be with them forever. I also had a feeling this could be about marriage? This is just my take on it. Either way, this was a great read! Thank you for sharing! Happy writing ~

With Love,
Leya





"You, who have all the passion for life that I have not? You, who can love and hate with a violence impossible to me? Why you are as elemental as fire and wind and wild things..."
— Gone With the Wind