Ray is a young boy who live in the small coastal village of Kradenbûrk. His mother always woke him early so he could get fresh bread from the local bakery, and today was no exception. Ray walk down the squeaky stair and with his backpack went to Clair, the local baker. As he ran down the village road, his imagination turned the path into an adventure, where he battled dragons. The villagers would pause their work to watch the joyful boy sprint by. Upon reaching Clair’s bakery, Ray used the money his mother had given him to purchase the daily bread. With his mission complete, he hurried back home along the same dusty road.
-mom, i got the bread. Can i go play with Viccy now?
he asked his mother with hopeful eyes She took the bread from his backpack and paused for a moment, thinking over his request. After a brief consideration, she nodded in agreement. Viccy was Ray’s neighbor and closest childhood friend, a young girl with striking red hair and bright eyes. Overjoyed by his mother’s approval, Ray dashed out of the house and made his way to Viccy’s home. Her house was a bit smaller than his, with a bright green roof and white walls. Knock-knock. Ray stood at the door, waiting and waiting, but there was no answer. He knocked again and again, but the house remained silent. Disappointed, he turned back and headed home, walking slowly, kicking a few pebbles along the way.
-Why are you back here so soon? Did something go wrong? His mother asked worryingly.
-no, it’s just that Viccy wasn’t home. His mother paused, searching her memory for a moment, and then she remembered that Viccy family was at the dock fishing for the day.
-Sorry Ray, i should have remembered that she was at the dock.
With a new goal in mind, Ray eagerly headed to the dock, hoping to find his friend. He dashed down the road, imagining the fishing boats setting sail to catch the day’s bounty. After navigating yet another dusty path, he finally arrived at the dock, where only three small boats were anchored. The vast ocean stretched endlessly before him, the sunlight dancing on the water in a breathtaking display. But Ray wasn’t there for the view
—he was there to find Viccy.
-Ray! a voice said enthusiastically Ray turned at the sound of a familiar voice and saw Viccy running towards him. “Ray, you came to see me!” she exclaimed with a smile.
While Viccy’s parents were out fishing, the two friends played their favorite game of make-believe. Ray imagined himself as a brave warrior battling fierce dragons, while Viccy became a powerful mage, casting spells to aid him. They played together until the sun began to set, their laughter echoing across the dock. After a long day of pretending to battle foe, Ray had an idea. - what if we clear Kradenbûrk’s dungeon? Ray asked Viccy.
Viccy’s eyes widened in excitement, but before she could respond, her parents called out, announcing that they had finished fishing and it was time to head home. Ray, a bit disappointed by the sudden end to their playtime, managed a smile and said, “See you tomorrow.” With a wave, he turned and made his way back home.
-Welcome back Ray, dinner is ready.
not having eaten for a while, Ray stomach growl as he made his way to the dining table. The small room, dimly lit by the glow of the fireplace, had only a wooden table with four chair—the only furniture in the dining room. on the table was two plate of bread with a bowl of steaming soup. They both sit down at the table and started to eat.
-You sure played a lot with Viccy today, i dint saw you today at all. His mother said while chuckling.
-Yeah mom, today I killed the red dragon of lava and fire with Viccy—it was super fun!
Ray exclaimed, jumping out of his chair. He began acting out the battle for his mother. “I took my big sword and slashed at its wings, while Viccy cast a super cool spell. Then, I hit the dragon again and again until I defeated it!” He swung his imaginary sword through the air, completely engrossed in his reenactment. Ray’s mother holding her head with both arm just watched with a smile as her child was having so much fun with his friend.
When he stop and got back on his seat he devour the rest of his soup. He then took his dishes, washed them and went back to his room upstairs. As he always did, he picked up his wooden sword and began practicing. He swung and swung until his hands were sore and his shoulders burned. he drop the sword out of exhaustion his legs gave out and he kneel slowly on the floor. Even if his body was burning A grin spread across Ray’s face if he continued like this maybe he could clear the Rdzeń the world hardest dungeon, nefarious for having a 0% percent surviving rate. Nobody that entered manage to exit even less clear the dungeon.
The following day, Ray did the same thing. He put on his backpack, took the money for the bread and ran to Clair’s bakery to get the bread. Her bakery filled the village with the smell of freshly baked bread a good aroma. -here again for you bread aren’t you little one? Clair asked Ray still in is imagination didn’t really mind her question and left as soon as he got the bread.
When he left Clair look at him with a smile “Ah! the joy of the youngster such a beautiful thing” she said to herself. while he walked home he kept saying one phrase to himself
“Today is the day i will go inside of the dungeon” maybe in hope to get is courage “Today is the day i will go inside of the dungeon” or maybe so would stop being scared of going inside “Today is the day i will go inside of the dungeon!”
he ran to Viccy home took her by the arm and shout “follow me”
-were are you taking me now? Viccy asked
Viccy was use to this, Ray did this often when he has an idea he is unstoppable. “Were going to the dungeon!” he said excitedly. Viccy stop running abruptly so fast that sand shout in the air.
-whats wrong Viccy? Ray didn’t know why she would stop.
-Are.. are you serious about going inside of the dungeon? She asked
-I sure am and i want you to come too. I can’t be a party alone can i.
-That’s true but don’t you think its a bad idea what if we get hurt?
-Don t worry about that i got my sword. Ray show his wooden sword to Viccy.
-Okay but we shouldn’t stay there too long.
They both start walking leaving the village and walking in the forest, tree so tall that they were blocking there vision and the sound of the wind made the forest almost seem alive, like it was breathing. Ray, eyes were wide filled with excitement but Viccy didn’t share the same feeling, she was more scared then anything, but she kept walking. When they finally reach the dungeon they saw a big tower towering above the tree that seem so tall before. At the entrance were two armored man guarding the dungeon.
-Viccy I’ll trow a rock to make noise and when they go to see what it was we enter the dungeon. Ray said.
After She nodded in agreement, he took a small rock and trow it as far as he could making a small noise. When the guard heard the sound they looked around to see what it was but didn’t leave their post. “Seriously, why didn’t they go check the noise” Ray think. they didn’t know what to do to enter now, what could they do to enter. He kept thinking but nothing came to mind, maybe it wasn’t is day just as he was about to give up a hand touch his shoulder, it was Viccy’s.
-What if i scream and then we run in. Viccy asked.
Ray was surprised coming from Viccy who didn’t like causing a commotion. this was a great idea, Viccy got into position and scream as loud as she could.
-AAAAAAHHH!
the guard without thinking ran quickly to were Viccy was but she had already left, Viccy ran to meet Ray and with the dungeon now unguarded they walked inside. inside was a dimly lit corridor, they were enough light, the wall were covered in plants and dirt, the floor was full of holes and every now and then a water made fell from the ceiling. Ray with is sword at the ready, walked slowly in the dungeon. With Viccy almost breathing down his neck they made there way in the dungeon. “CLING” they both stop.
-Ray, i think this was a bad idea, we shouldn’t be here.
Ray look behind him at Viccy “Don’t worry if anything happen ill protect you” “CLING” when he look again in front of him, a walking skeleton, with old untended armor and wielding a femur was right in front of him. The skeleton lifted up his arm preparing to swing is femur, but Ray was not going to go down without a fight he tighten his grip on his sword and with all of his strength swing his sword at the skeleton. “CRACKLE” when his sword touch the skeleton, it broke the wooden blade, half of his sword hitting the ground resonating in the dungeon. Viccy started shaking badly, sweat forming on her forehead, her knees weak. She tried to scream, but at first, nothing came out.
“Run, Viccy, run!” screamed Ray, facing the bony creature.
Viccy turned around as fast as she could and ran toward the exit, screaming. Her foot got stuck in one of the many holes in the dungeon, but she managed to keep her balance. Without looking back at Ray, she ran to get the guards, hoping they could help him.
“Thank God she’s safe. At least I kept my promise to protect her,” Ray thought.
He looked at the skeleton with his broken sword, adrenaline pumping through his body. “I won’t let you go after her!” He charged at the skeleton and slashed with what was left of his sword. Nothing happened; it was as if he had only tickled the monster. Terrified by the skeleton’s strength, Ray dropped the remains of his sword and ran. The skeleton saw an opening and tried to hit him with its femur. “CLANG!” The sound of metal echoed in the dungeon as the guards arrived just in time to save Ray.
“RUN! GET OUT OF HERE!” one of the guards yelled.
The clashing of swords against the hard surface of bones echoed through the hallway. The guards fought valiantly against the monster, determined to protect the children. As Ray ran, he felt weak. He trained daily with his sword, but in this moment, he had lost, powerless against a single skeleton. He had put Viccy in danger—for what? For fun? To prove his strength? But deep down, he knew that proving his strength didn’t matter if he died or if Viccy died. Tears started to form as those thoughts flooded his mind, his vision blurring, his mouth trembling.
One of the guards raised his arm and yelled, “DECAY!” As the guard finished shouting, he had to kneel, exhausted. The skeleton’s arm turned black and disintegrated like dust in the wind. Now a one-armed monster, the skeleton, shocked by its loss, turned and dashed deeper into the dungeon.
“Go get him, Alex. I’ll take care of the kid,” the kneeling guard said.
Without hesitation, Alex chased after the skeleton, determined to finish what they had started.
Outside the dungeon, Viccy and Ray finally reunited.
“Are you alright? Does anything hurt?” Viccy asked.
Ray sat on the ground, panting heavily, his heart still racing from the encounter. He looked up at Viccy, who was equally shaken but determined to make sure he was okay.
“I’m… I’m fine,” Ray managed to say between breaths, though the weight of his failure hung heavily on him.
“I’m sorry, Viccy. I shouldn’t have brought you here.”
Viccy knelt beside him, her eyes wide with concern.
“It’s okay, Ray. We’re both safe now, thanks to the guards. But… we should never do something like this again.”
Ray nodded, the reality of what had just happened sinking in. The dungeon wasn’t a place for children, no matter how brave they thought they were. The thrill of adventure had been replaced by the cold sting of fear, and Ray couldn’t shake the feeling of failure that hovered over him. He had wanted to prove himself, but now he realized that true strength wasn’t just about courage; it was about knowing when to protect those you care about, even if it meant turning away from danger.
The guard who had saved Ray emerged from the dungeon. He approached the two children, his expression stern but not unkind.
“You two are lucky,” he said firmly. “The dungeon isn’t a place for playing games. It’s dangerous, and you’ve seen that firsthand. You need to be more careful.”
Ray and Viccy both nodded, chastened by the guard’s words.
“We’re sorry,” Ray said quietly, his head bowed.
The guard softened slightly, kneeling down to their level. “You’re brave, I’ll give you that. But bravery without wisdom is a dangerous thing. Remember that.”
“Now we’ll wait for Alex to come back; it shouldn’t take too long,” said the guard. “Oh, and you can call me Barry.”
The three of them sat on the ground under the sun, waiting for Alex to return. They waited, and waited. Barry started to scratch himself more and more, kicking his feet and walking in circles. “This shouldn’t take this long,” Barry exclaimed. It had been so long that the sun was starting to set.
“Is he okay? Maybe he got stuck,” Viccy asked.
Worried about his friend, Barry decided to go look for him. He got to his feet, and as he walked toward the dungeon, a sound became more present, growing louder. It was the sound of marching, coming from the dungeon. Barry, readying his weapon, approached slowly. The sound grew louder and louder until the ground started shaking. Viccy and Ray, scared, decided to move farther from the dungeon. Then, as if out of a nightmare, an enormous group of skeletons emerged from the dungeon. One of them was wielding a sword that looked familiar. Barry immediately recognized the sword and started vomiting, terrified by the sheer number of monsters. Viccy and Ray ran into the dark forest in the direction of the village. As they ran, they heard something. “DECAY!” “DECAY!” “DECAY!” “DECAAAH!”
“Why? Why did you bring me here?” Viccy angrily asked.
Ray, shocked by what was happening, didn’t know what to say. He had thought they were going to have fun, to be heroes, to clear the dungeon. But the only thing he managed to do was kill two innocent guards, Alex and Barry. Just thinking about what happened was enough to make him sick.
“I… I only wanted to… I only wanted us to be heroes,” he said, crying.
Running through the dark forest proved difficult, with no way to see where they were going or where the village was. They could only hope to find the right path.
“Do you think they went back inside the dungeon?” Viccy asked.
“I hope so,” Ray replied.
As they walked through the forest, Ray spotted a light in the distance.
“I’ve found the village, Viccy, come!” he said enthusiastically.
Both of them started running toward the village. They could see the end of the forest, the last tree in sight.
“Finally, we did it!” Viccy said.
But when they emerged from the forest and the village came into view, they couldn’t believe what they were seeing. The village of Kradenbûrk was in flames, skeletons rampaging through the streets. Clair’s bakery was in ruins, engulfed in fire, with Clair herself trapped beneath the rubble.
“Dad, Mom!” Viccy yelled as she started running towards her house.
Ray, realizing that this was all his doing, nearly fainted. But he had something else to worry about—someone else. His mother. After Viccy quickly ran to see her parents, Ray soon follow to see his own mother. Running in what was left of his village, the local blacksmith cut in half by the skeletons, Clair crushed under the weight of her shop. Ray couldn’t stop thinking about how this was all his doing, all his fault, succeeding in going at his house without being seen by skeleton. The view chocked him, Viccy on her knee crying her heart out, while holding the hand of her dad.
“Why, why did you had to die!” Viccy quickly look back at Ray and started screaming at him “Its all your fault, your fault everyone died, you fault i lost my home, your fault!”
Ray knew she was saying the true and he didn’t dare say anything back he only took the pain of destroying everything he love to himself. His house, was the part of the few home that wasn’t burning, he enter his home searching for his mother
“MOM! where are you? are you here mom?”
he looked in the kitchen, in her room, in the bathroom everywhere she usually was. Ray was broken, he lost everything in such a small amount of time. His home, is neighbor, and maybe even is mom…
“Ray, are you here” a voice said softly from upstairs
Ray hearing the voice of his mother, quickly went upstairs to his room. “Mother are you o…” his mother was on the floor, holding her hand against her stomach. Red flowing from where she hold her hand making a small puddle of blood where she was.
“Ray, i don’t have much time, Take this, this is the last thing your father gave me before he left. I want you to have it so you can remember us when I’m gone” she slowly lifted her hand, in her hand was a beautiful silver ring, ornate with a purple amethyst.
Ray took it and didn’t know what to do, his mother took the ring back from his hand and gracefully put the ring on his ring finger, “here that’s where it should be.” Ray,
“thanks mother but.. but are you going to be okay, i need you, i don’t want you to leave, please mother don’t do this” he said while sobbing
“Its going to be okay Ray, everything going to be fine, do you remember when we hunted with your father?”
“yes how could i forget”
“Well if you continue following the road near the water fall, you should arrive in the city of Jalvis, Your uncle will take you in his care I’m certain of it”
“But..but how will i know if its him, what if i don’t find him” Ray asked
“Ask for Gossell Rinfried, I’m sure you will be able to find him”
“But..but mother, mother! MOTHER!”
before Ray could ask anything else the light that reside inside of his mothers eyes vanish. Filled with grief and guilt, Ray cried and cried over the body of his deceased mother, but this wasn’t the right time to morn, skeleton were still roaming the village. Ray slapped his face a couple of time, took his thing and walked down the stair for the last time, walked trough the door for the last time. When he left his house, the sight of the village made Ray remember just how much chaos skeleton made, the village looked like hell, fire everywhere. He tried to look for Viccy but she wasn’t were she was before.
“Viccy, Viccy where are you?” Ray asked but nobody responded.
He went back to the place she was before and saw a little piece of paper on the floor, scared as to what it was he pick it up slowly and read what was written on it.
“I hope I Never see you again. signed: Viccy”
Ray grip weaken, the little piece of paper flied off his hand. That day, he truly lost everything. His home, his mother, his neighbor, his village, his friend everything. he shook his head.
“I’ve lost everything today but I didn’t lose myself, i just need to keep going”
With a new goal, Ray run toward Jalvis, a city he had heard before but never went to. Never looking back at the now ruined village, Ray ran as fast as he humanly could to the water fall, towered the tree it almost looked like the water fall reach the clouds, near it was a dirt road use by merchant to travel between village and city.
“Mom said that if i followed this road I’d arrive in Jalvis right”
With the night finally here, Ray couldn’t see the dirt road properly and had to stop walking to rest. Ray sat down by the side of the dirt road, the night was eerily quiet, the only sounds being the distant crackle of the burning village and the occasional rustle of leaves in the wind. The weight of his mother’s death and the destruction of his village hung heavily on him, but the silver ring on his finger served as a reminder of her last words, urging him to keep going. He knew he had to keep going, keep going to Jalvis.
As he leaned against a tree to rest, exhaustion finally overtook him. His eyes grew heavy, and despite the fear and sorrow in his heart, he went to sleep. It was his first time he slept alone not to say in the wilderness. When morning came to, the ray from the sun bounced on the leave shinning Ray in his face.
“Uhm, five more minutes.” he said
When he realized that no one was waking him up, Ray opened his eyes and start looking around. he saw, the giant waterfall, the vast number of tree, the dirt road, some rock cover in moss and diverse flower. He took his stuff and started walking in direction of Jalvis. Ray didn’t know how much time it would take for him to reach the city but he knew that he would spend more night sleeping in the wilderness. He walk and walk and walk but the scenery was all the same trees, rocks and the dirt road. After three days of walking, Ray was famished, his stomach growling just thinking about food.
“What i would do for mother’s soup right now” he thought
With an empty stomach, Ray started looking around the forest for food, he didn’t knew much about plant but he was confident he could find food. While looking he saw berry bush, weird mushrooms and a ground plant that look eatable.
“I’m going to have a real feast”
he picked all of the berry, mushrooms and other plant. Excited about his find, Ray lay down what he found in front of him and started eating. The berries were very sweet and tasty and the ground plant he found tasted like carrots, as he was about to eat his mushroom something stop him.
“STOP, DO NOT EAT THOSE YOUNG MAN!” a voice said
shocked about hearing someone this deep in the forest, Ray turned around and started looking for the source of the voice
“Who are you?” Ray asked
the voice showed himself, it was an 35-ish man with silver hair and a piercing gaze, he wore an old dirty cloak.
“Drop those mushrooms would you”
Ray drop the mushroom down. The man relieved that he could stop Ray from eating the mushroom let out a sight.
“pardon me, I am Baiki, Baiki Hofcassor” the man said while bowing his head
“Hi, my name is Ray Lo Dacrovich. Uhm, why couldn’t i eat those mushrooms?”
“Well, these mushroom are used to make medicine making them quite rare, also they don’t taste very good” Baiki said while letting out a chuckle “But tell me what are you doing this deep in the forest young man?”
Ray wondered if he should tell the true to the man, what if it gets out that he was the cause of the catastrophe.
“I’m from Kradenbûrk village and monsters started invading our village and setting our home on fire. I… I had to flee the village to live” Ray said with sorrow. “Right now I’m trying to go to Jalvis to see my uncle”
Baiki realizing the hardship he must have went trough propose taking him to Jalvis. Ray eyes widen and almost started shining, he nod his head excited about the proposal, now he had a way to get Jalvis. Ray started walking towards the city and while he wasn’t looking, Baiki started putting the mushroom in his backpack. Not being alone anymore made the way to the city enjoyable, now Ray had someone to talk to, someone to laugh with, but the pain of what he had lost was still there, it wasn’t going to fade away.
After walking for two more days, the forest started to shrink and they could finally see a large plain, with a beautiful river going across it, but the biggest thing they could see was the city of Jalvis, a city surrounded by a giant stone wall, the dirt road led directly to the main entrance where many merchant and travelers wait patiently to enter the city. Ray had finally made it to Jalvis, his story could finally begin. “Here we are, the city of Jalvis,” Baiki exclaimed. The same voice Ray had heard nine years ago echoed in his mind, and the familiar blue screen appeared before him, hovering in the air.
“Why can only I see it? What does it all mean?” Ray asked, hoping the system would answer, but only silence followed.
Baiki, noticing Ray talking to himself, looked perplexed.
“Who were you talking to?” he asked, puzzled.
“Oh, no one,” Ray quickly responded.
“Well, never mind. But now that you’re finally 18, why don’t you go get a license at the Clearer’s Guild?” Baiki suggested.
Ray had been waiting for this day for nine years. Every day of training had led to this moment. Ready for any challenge the guild might present, he walked confidently toward it.
“Wait, you’ll need this,” Baiki said before Ray left, holding a beautiful sword with a purple hand guard. The blade was thin but sharp. “Here, take it,” he said, handing the sword to Ray.
Surprised by the sight of such a beautiful sword, Ray asked where Baiki had been hiding it.
“It’s my old sword. Consider it a gift for your hard work,” Baiki said, realizing how much Ray had grown. “Take this too. You can’t just carry the sword in plain sight,” he added, handing him a scabbard.
Ray looked at the sword, impressed by its perfect condition after more than a decade. He thanked Baiki and headed to the guild.
The guild hadn’t changed at all—the same old building with three floors and plenty of windows. When Ray entered, it was as if the guild had been frozen in time. People were still complaining to the receptionists, talking about their next contract or their last one.
As he approached the reception, one of the receptionists, an older woman in her late twenties with a slim figure and smooth brown hair, called Ray to her desk.
“Welcome to the Clearer’s Guild. How can I help you?” she asked enthusiastically.
“I’m here to get licensed,” Ray responded.
The woman retrieved a document from under her desk and asked Ray to fill it out. After writing down his name, age, and other details, he handed it back. She quickly reviewed it and placed it back under her desk.
“Perfect. Once all the formalities are done, you’ll receive this.” She showed him a small chain with a metal piece engraved with a symbol. “This necklace must be worn at all times as proof that you are a Clearer. To finalize your licensing, you’ll need to pass a practical exam. Just head out to the courtyard and ask for the examiner.”
Confident in his abilities, Ray made his way to the courtyard, where many people were training with swords, either against dummies or each other. Spotting a man with his arms crossed watching the training from afar, Ray assumed he was the examiner and approached him.
“Hello, are you the examiner?” Ray asked.
The man stopped observing the training and looked at Ray.
“Yes, I am. Are you here for licensing?”
Ray nodded.
“Follow me,” the man said.
They moved to a smaller, empty courtyard. The man finally introduced himself.
“I am Rhyol Lucender. I’ll be your examiner today.” Rhyol took a sword and asked Ray to prepare himself.
Ray drew his sword from the scabbard and assumed a guard stance. At the sight of Ray’s sword, Rhyol’s body tensed, his eyes grew serious, and his posture shifted to a more defensive stance.
“Come at me whenever you’re ready,” Rhyol said.
Ray gripped his sword tightly and dashed at Rhyol, preparing to strike from the side. In a swift movement, Rhyol managed to parry at the last moment, the clash of their swords echoing across the courtyard.
“Not bad, kid,” Rhyol remarked.
He then lowered his body and swept Ray off his feet. As Ray fell, he realized he was in a dire situation. Rhyol moved his sword toward where Ray would land, but to his surprise, Ray rolled toward him, narrowly escaping the attack.
Rhyol grinned as Ray attempted to stab him from below. In a quick move, Rhyol slashed at Ray, disarming him. Ray’s sword flew out of his hand and landed a few feet away.
“Does this mean I don’t pass?” Ray asked.
Rhyol laughed and helped Ray to his feet.
“Don’t pass? You passed with flying colors, young man,” he said, still laughing.
Rhyol handed Ray a small piece of paper and instructed him to return to the receptionist for his chain. After retrieving his sword, Ray wondered if this was all it took to get licensed. The practical exam had seemed easy; he lost, but still passed.
Pleased with the outcome, Ray returned to the lady and handed her the paper.
“Finished already? You’re quick,” she said as she took out a chain and gave it to Ray.
The moment the chain was in his hand, the system started talking again.
[System task completed. Processing to next task.]
[The system has now given you access to the statistics of people.]
[Bypassing user command. The system will now display your statistics.]
As the system finished speaking, a blue screen appeared in the center of Ray’s vision.
[Name: Ray Lo Dacrovich]
[Age: 18 years]
[Strength: 9]
[Intelligence: 12]
[Agility: 7]
[Skill: N/A]
[Magic: N/A]
[Mana: 6/6]
[Stamina: 15/17]
[Title: N/A]
[Some information has been hidden by the system.]
What did it all mean? Titles? Skills? Ray had never heard of such things before. Curious about what the system could do, he tried to view someone else’s statistics.
[Influence too low with system to grant user request.]
Puzzled, Ray tried again with someone else.
[Influence too low with system to grant user request.]
Ray wondered what the point was of saying he could see people’s stats if he couldn’t actually do it. And what was the influence the system was talking about? He had too many questions and not enough answers.
“Hello, are you okay?” the receptionist’s voice echoed.
“Are you okay? You’ve been staring into space.”
“Sorry, it’s just that getting a license has been a long-time goal of mine,” Ray responded.
The guild lady sat back down and began explaining the rules and other details.
“The goal of the Clearer’s Guild is to one day clear all the dungeons. But since not everyone is strong enough to clear a dungeon, the guild issues contracts for monster parts in exchange for money. It’s killing two birds with one stone—controlling the monster population and obtaining monster parts for weapons, armor, and other uses,” she explained.
Excited to take on his first contract, Ray went to the job board, where many different contracts awaited. One in particular caught his eye…
The city was much larger than Kradenbûrk. Excited about the new possibilities awaiting him, Ray urged Baiki to enter Jalvis quickly. As they approached the city, the walls seemed to grow taller and taller. What had initially appeared to be big walls now loomed as gigantic structures, taller than anything Ray had ever seen. After waiting in line, it was finally their turn to enter.
“Purpose of visit?” a guard asked without looking at them.
“Elitz, you know I live here,” Baiki said, laughing.
The guard finally looked at them, his face brightening up.
“Baiki! It’s been a long time since I last saw you,” the guard said. He then glanced at Ray, puzzled.
“Since when did you have a kid?” he asked.
Baiki placed his hand on his face, shaking his head. The people in line began to grow impatient, grumbling that they should save their family reunion for another time.
“I’ll talk with you later,” said the guard.
The gate opened with a grinding sound, sending sand flying into the air. Ray could finally see the inside of the city. He started walking to enter, but as he took his first step inside, a voice resonated in his head.
[System Activation starting—Estimated time: 9 years, 5 months, 13 days, 17 hours, 52 minutes, 49 seconds]
The monotone voice echoed in his mind, and a blue screen appeared in front of him with a timer. 45 seconds—44 seconds. Perplexed by what this meant, Ray asked Baiki if he could see the blue screen.
“What do you mean, a blue screen?” Baiki asked, looking at where Ray was pointing.
Wondering what it all meant, Ray remembered why he was in Jalvis—to meet someone he had never met before, his uncle. Not knowing where to start, Ray began asking random people if they knew of his uncle. People shook their heads, said they didn’t know, or outright ignored him. Seeing all of this, Baiki felt bad for him; all Ray wanted was a place to call home.
“Well, Ray, if you don’t know where your uncle is, how about you come live with me?” Baiki proposed, his voice tinged with a bit of pity.
“Are you sure? That would be very kind of you. Thank you,” Ray responded.
Baiki gestured for Ray to follow him. They walked through the bustling shopping hall, where various stalls sold fruit, clothes, meat, weapons, armor, and everything else imaginable. They then made their way to a large building with many armed people coming in and out. Curious about the place, Ray stopped to see what it was.
“Are you interested in the Clearer’s Guild?” Baiki asked.
The Clearer’s Guild. Ray had heard of Clearer’s, strong individuals who made a living by entering dungeons to retrieve various treasures. Seeing Ray’s interest, Baiki changed direction and began walking toward the guild. The building was three stories high and had many windows. Inside, countless tables were filled with Clearer’s discussing their next contracts or recounting their recent victories. Many were complaining to the receptionists, who kept apologizing to them. Tall men in heavy armor, slim archers, and well-dressed mages passed by. Ray was amazed—it reminded him of the stories his father used to tell him.
“If it isn’t good old Baiki,” a man holding a beer said, placing his hand on Baiki’s shoulder.
Baiki smiled. “Seems like you haven’t changed,” he responded.
“You know a lot of people,” Ray said as the three of them sat down at a table. Baiki and the man began talking about the past while Ray silently listened.
“Ah-ah! Just like that time up north when you almost lost your pants during the battle.”
They kept talking until the guild began to empty out. The conversation was going smoothly until the man asked Baiki a difficult question.
“Why did you stop taking contracts?” he asked.
Baiki’s smile quickly disappeared, his expression growing more serious.
“It’s getting late. We should go. Let’s go, Ray,” he said, getting up and leaving.
Confused about what he had done wrong, the man quickly apologized. When they left the guild, Baiki led the way to his home without saying a word. When they arrived, Ray saw an old house. It wasn’t particularly big, but it was more than enough for the two of them. Inside, the house was covered in dust and cobwebs. Baiki showed Ray where he would sleep and then proceeded to his own room. Now alone, Ray took the opportunity to explore his new home.
A kitchen, a bathroom, a dining room—everything you’d find in an ordinary house. Down to the last room, Ray opened the door and, to his surprise, found what looked like a training room. Different swords and weapons were stored in a barrel, and various training dummies were set up.
“Crick.” Before Ray could turn around, Baiki was already behind him, looking inside the room with him. Scared of what Baiki might say, Ray anticipated the worst. What if making him remember his Clearer days made him angry?
“If you want to use the room, go ahead. I’m not using it anymore,” Baiki said calmly.
Thinking it was the right time to ask, Ray slowly turned around and, looking up at Baiki, asked why he had stopped being a Clearer.
Letting out a sigh, Baiki placed his hand on Ray’s head and told him that sometimes people change, and things that once were the only reason they lived became the things that haunted them at night.
Not fully understanding, Ray went to his room. As he started to doze off, images of his burning town kept appearing in his mind. The sight of his dying mother made him want to vomit. His body began to sweat, and no matter how much he wanted to think of anything else, reality kept catching up to him. It was all his fault—every bit of it was his fault. Then the nightmare stopped. If he could clear all the dungeons, this wouldn’t happen to anyone else. If he killed every last monster, there would be no monsters left to cause chaos.
The following day, Ray woke up early. With a new goal in mind, he began training with every weapon Baiki had—sword, spear, dagger, staff. Seeing how determined Ray was reminded Baiki of his younger self, and he occasionally helped Ray train. The blue screen Ray had seen in the corner of his eye kept displaying a countdown.
[8 years left]
[5 years left]
[3 years left]
[1 year left]
[2 months left]
Ray’s body had become more defined. The swing of his sword was heavier, and the precision of his strikes was remarkable.
“No, you’re doing it wrong. I keep telling you to use your legs more during a fight. If you stay in the same spot, you’re just a sitting target,” Baiki explained again.
After training for more than nine years, the countdown was almost over and on the day of his 18th birthday, the countdown reached zero.
[System activation starting—Estimated time: 0 years, 0 months, 0 days, 0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds]
[System activation imminent]
[System activated]
A contract for five almiraj horns—that’s what caught his eye. How hard could it be to kill five horned rabbits? He ripped the contract from the board, and as he did, the system started talking.
[Contract added to the list of contracts]
[Contract type: Almiraj]
[Time allocated for contract: 24 hours]
“A time limit? The receptionist said contracts didn’t have time limits. Is the system adding difficulties to the contracts?” Ray asked himself.
Realizing that he didn’t have as much time as he had initially thought, he asked the receptionist for directions to the Jalvis Dungeon. Ready to start his career as a clearer, Ray began walking toward the dungeon, which wasn’t far from the guild.
After walking for a bit, the dungeon came into view—a giant tower made of stone and covered in vines. Ray felt weak in his knees and started sweating heavily. His breathing became labored. The past still haunted him, but he needed to overcome this. He needed to start making up for his mistakes. He needed to clear every dungeon, but he couldn’t succeed if his body froze at the sight of one. He pushed himself forward, and after catching his breath, he continued toward the dungeon.
Many people were gathered outside the dungeon, maybe waiting for their party members or discussing their contracts and strategies. Beside the dungeon entrance stood a man, fully armored and wielding a spear. As Ray approached, the man looked over at him.
“Do you have your clearer’s necklace?” the man asked.
Ray pulled his chain out from under his shirt. After examining it with a hand on his chin, the man allowed him to enter.
Entering the dungeon, Ray felt a mix of fear and excitement. He could see other clearer’s exploring the dungeon. The faint sound of someone chanting a spell echoed off the walls. Most of the clearer’s had basic armor and weapons, but among the many, a few stood out with shiny armor and weapons that looked expensive.
Not even ten minutes had passed before Ray encountered a group of two almiraj—small horned rabbits. He prepared himself for the right moment to strike. One of the rabbits dashed toward him, lunging with incredible speed. Ray knew he wouldn’t be fast enough with his sword, so he dropped it. Before it even hit the ground, he hooked the almiraj, causing it to scream in pain before crashing into the wall. It fell but managed to get back up.
Both rabbits decided to attack together—one from the side and the other from the front. Ray took a deep breath and, as the almiraj on the side approached rapidly, he managed to grab it by the horn. In a swift movement, Ray used the rabbit’s horn to stab the other one, blood dripping from the horn. After retrieving his sword, he took the two horns and continued searching for more almiraj.
[Contract updated: 2 out of 5 horns collected]
Walking down the decrepit hallway of the dungeon, Ray saw the corpses of many other monsters.
“What happens to the corpses? Do they just leave them here to rot?” he wondered.
His thoughts were interrupted by a group of three almiraj, forming a small semi-circle in front of him. Wanting to try his new weapon, he gripped his sword more tightly. This time, he would make the first move. As he ran toward the almiraj, they began to charge as well. The one directly in front of him leaped up to stab him with its horn, but Ray, having already seen this attack, flipped his sword horizontally and slashed the beast.
[System bypassing influence requirement: showing almiraj statistics]
A blue screen appeared.
[Name: Almiraj]
[Age: 3 yrs]
[STR: 4]
[INT: 3]
[AGT: 9]
[Skill: N/A]
[Magic: N/A]
[Mana: N/A]
[Stamina: 7/7]
[Title: N/A]
[Some information has been hidden by the system]
With his vision partly blocked by the screen, Ray didn’t see the almiraj rapidly approaching from the side. Its horn pierced Ray’s shirt and entered his body.
Ray didn’t scream, but he was in pain. His body weakened. With his left hand, he grabbed the rabbit and quickly pulled it out, blood pouring from his side.
“Close the damn screen!” he shouted.
The screen began to vanish. He threw the rabbit to the ground, his eyes locked on the one that hadn’t yet attacked. It jumped from side to side, and as it dashed toward Ray, he realized this one was faster than the others. Managing to block the horn with his sword, Ray barely had time to counter before the rabbit was already charging him again. As the rabbit got dangerously close, Ray tried to stab it from the side, using his sword like a dagger. The rabbit, in mid-air, had nothing to jump off and could only see the sword approaching it. The almiraj closed its eyes as if anticipating the hit.
[Contract updated: contract complete]
After the battle, Ray sat down in the dungeon to catch his breath. He had thought almiraj were easy monsters, but he still had difficulty dealing with them. Even though he had trained for nine years, he hadn’t often trained against living creatures. Sure, he could perform impressive moves, but those didn’t matter if his opponents were faster than him. Realizing his weaknesses only meant he had more to work on. After getting back on his feet, he made his way out of the dungeon, leaving a small trail of blood behind him.
The guard, seeing him, called over a medic. After getting bandaged up, Ray, with his haul, made his way to the guild.
“Did you have any questions about the quest?” the receptionist asked him.
Ray took the five horns from his bag and placed them on the desk. The lady, not expecting him to complete the quest so quickly, was surprised.
“Eh, yeah sure, of course. Just show me the contract you had,” she said.
He searched his bag for the contract and handed it to her. She looked it over.
“So, for five almiraj horns, your reward is… 50 vroro,” she said, counting the money and giving it to him.
[Contract complete: System influence increased]
Back home, Baiki greeted Ray and told him that dinner was ready. After putting his sword away, he went to the dining room, where a real feast was laid out—chicken, bread, soup, beef, potatoes, salads, all ready to eat.
“What’s the big occasion?” Ray asked.
“Are you serious?” Baiki said, laughing. “You finally got licensed. Isn’t that a big occasion?”
Ray sat down, and they had a nice meal, talking about everything and anything. Ray told him about the contract he had completed.
“You completed a contract on your first day?” Baiki asked, impressed.
“Yeah.”
“Not many clearer’s finish a contract on the very first day. Congratulations.”
After the meal, Ray helped wash the dishes and then went to his room. He sat on his bed and clasped his hands.
“Mother, today I started my clearer’s career. I can finally clear this world of monsters,” he said to his deceased mother. He told her about everything that had happened that day—his licensing, the contract, the feast.
“I miss you, Mom.”
The following day, realizing he needed more training, Ray decided to go back to see Rhyol, the examiner. He asked the guild receptionist if Rhyol was present, and she told him he was in the courtyard overseeing the clearer’s’ training. In the courtyard, many people were training—dueling with various weapons, mages practicing their spells against specially made dummies, and archers honing their accuracy.
In the corner of the courtyard, Rhyol stood with his arms crossed, watching to ensure people didn’t go too intense with their spells and that those dueling weren’t killing each other.
“Mister Rhyol, may I ask you a question?” Ray asked.
“Sure, how can I help?” Rhyol replied.
“Well, I’ve been training for a long time, and Baiki often helped me by showing me techniques, but he would never actually fight me.”
“And your question?” Rhyol responded.
“I was wondering if you could train me in actual combat,” Ray asked hopefully.
Rhyol glanced back at the people training, then, without warning, unsheathed his sword and held it under Ray’s throat. Before Ray could react, Rhyol sheathed his sword.
“I see what you mean. The last time we fought, you attacked first. What you lack is defense,” he explained.
“Here, start by buying yourself good armor. After you do that, I’ll consider training you.”
Ray looked at himself, wondering why he hadn’t gotten armor before. He left the courtyard after thanking Rhyol for giving him a chance. He went back home and started searching the training room for pieces of armor. Baiki, seeing him search everywhere, was confused.
“Did you lose something?” Baiki asked.
“No, I’m looking for any pieces of armor,” Ray said as he continued his search.
“Well, you certainly won’t find any in this house,” Baiki chuckled.
“Why? You have all those weapons. Why wouldn’t there be armor?” Ray stopped searching.
“I sold it.”
“You sold it?”
“Yeah, I sold it. When I stopped going into dungeons, I sold all the armor I had, thinking it wouldn’t be useful anymore.”
Ray was confused. Why keep all the weapons but not the armor?
“You see, a weapon is like a man’s best friend. Armor can betray you, but a good sword never will.”
Realizing he wouldn’t find any armor here, Ray went to the nearest blacksmith. The blacksmith had his shop in a small house with a hanging sign that read *Donovan the Smith*. Entering the shop, Ray saw numerous pieces of armor displayed on stands along the walls. Shields covered the walls, and in the middle of the shop were spears, swords, daggers, short swords, and many different types of weapons.
“Be right with you,” a rough voice called from a room behind the counter.
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Hey there diabloo, Icy here for a review today!
I'm interested in how your technique has shifted throughout writing this, to the point that the style in the end is very different to that in the beginning. The whole way through you've crafted compelling characters and got an interesting story going, but only towards the end do you begin to use tenses and dialogue tags correctly.
My biggest suggestion would be to go back to the beginning of the story and edit it with the knowledge you've gained by the end.
A couple of examples here:
This doesn't necessarily need dialogue tags, but you have one in the next paragraph. Bring that up and format it, and make sure to capitalise the I's. At first, I thought Ray was texting because of this.
Your tenses also shift about a lot in the first section. There's a lot in the present tense but also a lot in the past. Again in the second part you have that down, so make sure to go back for a reread.
Hope this was helpful!
Icy
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the deranged S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Ray plays games with Viccy, his friend. One day, he decides that the both of them should clear out the dungeon, but things go horribly wrong when skeletons emerge and kill everyone in their village! Viccy blames Ray for the tragedy and leaves him, so Ray must fend for himself in a cruel world.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I feel like at one point in the story it jumps from Ray being a child to Ray being eighteen years old and having trained with Baiki. I feel like a more clear pacing would help.
Chocolate Bar - I like how Ray is the only one who can see the screen, it makes it all the more mysterious. Why is it that Ray can only see the screen? Also, his determination to right the wrongs of the past is very admirable. However, I do feel bad for him because he was only a child and didn’t know any better…But I am excited to see more! Baiki seems very helpful!
Closing Graham Cracker - An interesting little story of Ray’s journey, I enjoyed this. I wonder what secret Baiki is keeping from Ray and if it has anything to do with nobody knowing who Ray’s Uncle is…but I will keep an eye out if this story is updated! And right now…
I wish you a lovely day/night! ^v^