My father used to say to me
"Stop worrying and just be".
But how am I supposed to "be"
When I don't know who I am?
Only a heap of anxiety and sadness
Disguised as a human being
Covered in faded scars...
-
It's impossible to "just be"
When every move you make
Is controlled by mental disorders.
No conversation goes without panic,
No decision goes without anxiety,
No night goes without paranoia-
I'm ruled by the voices in my head.
-
You can't "just be"
When you have no reason to exist.
If your entire life is dictated by anxiety
Are you even truly living?
I'm not swimming in this pool of life
I'm barely keeping my head above water.
Hell, I'm drowning...
-
So stop telling me to "just be",
Don't tell me to "stop worrying"-
Like telling a blind person to "just see"
Or telling a deaf person to "just hear".
Impossible.
Anxiety controls my life.
I'm not in charge anymore
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,821 Reviews
Hey!
I was instantly attracted to this poem since I deal with anxiety daily and it sucks! I've also felt depression and just ugh. Mental illnesses suck, I feel your pain! Anyway onto the review:
The first thing is that you don't need to capitalize every first letter of a line. Also you repeated a lot of things and it got kinda repetitive and not very interesting. I usually prefer short poems which is why I might have gotten bored halfway through.
Anyway sorry this poem was so short,
Alice ♥
I really enjoyed the poem, the message was very clear what you were trying to point out. Was it meant to be "Help" instead or "Hell" either one works really well in the poem. The fact you are bringing in things we can relate to also helps develop that connection and really drew me into the poem.
I do feel though you should of gone into some of the emotions experienced by anixety. I know you went into it in the second stanza but more so in the sense of what are you doing physically like are you shaking or are your words getting jumbled. It could really add to the imagery of the poem instead of just telling me what is happening.
Anyway emotive piece and I hope to see more of your work!
Thank you!!
Oh my, you had me at,
"How am I supposed to "be"
When I don't know you I am?"
This is me. I literally wrote a poem about this myself! In the very last line, though, I think you could ended it more strongly. The poem presents such a strong feeling of frustration and I think it deserves a better restatement.
I also really love the line, "Are you even truly living?" You ask the right questions and even though you don't have a definite or positive answer, you relay the frustration accurately.
Overall, I really love this poem. Truly, it speaks to me.
Thank you!! I agree with you on the last line. I wrote this poem a while ago and still can't figure out a way to end it. Honestly, I really don't like the last line, so I'll keep trying to find a better way to end it.