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12+ Violence Mature Content

What's all the buzz about.

by demoncat

Warning there is Gore later in this story. And also some domestic violence. If you get queasy or are easily triggered you should probably not read this.

Clarice is listening to music in her room. Her face is red and streaked with angry tears. And she can hear her father stomping angrily through the house. Her mother is probably still drunk laying in bed. Her bedroom door probably can't handle any more  slamming or force. Its almost off it's hinges. Suddenly She feels a slight vibration again her leg and goes to check her phone. (Hm nothing?) She thinks to herself. Then as soon as she settles back into the pillows the feels more vibration but alot more prominent. She rips out her headphones and jumps up in hopes that there is no bug laying amongst the sheets. There is no bug but there is a loud buzzing sound. It won't stop and it seems the whole room is shaking. She puts her headphones in and curls up in a ball her head is pounding. Afew miniutes later the noise has stopped but she hasn't noticed. She's clenched into a tight ball. Then she hears a tap on her window. And when She ignores it there is another loud tap. (Michael!) She screams inside her head. (I can't let him see me like this!) She quickly runs over to do her makeup. Just a quick touch of foundation to cover her tears. She always was alot faster at makeup then her freinds. She holds there record amongst her group of freinds. Fabulous as always. Then she quietly crawls out her window to the tree next to it. And sneaks around behind him. " Roar!" Clarice squeaks as she taps Michael on the shoulder making him jump. His floppy hair flying in the wind. "Agh! Oh my God. Why did you have to scare me like that? I was worried enough that I'd have to storm the palace to rescue..." He's cut off when she grabs his face pulling him closer. She softly kisses him as she stands on her tippy toes. Then she hugs his neck. " ...You" he finishes in a daze. She pulls back and blushes profusely. " I missed you. You jerk. Why did you take such a long vacay anyway? And what are you doing here so late? May dad could have seen..." This time it's his turn to cut her off. He grabs her by the waist and pulls her closer. Kissing her with more force this time. When he pulls away she is in even more of a daze. And her face is as red as a tomato. He smirks when she finishes with " you..." He starts laughing and so does she. Clarice stops suddenly. When she sees a bee on her windowsill. She hugs him tightly. A tear escapes her eye. Then it becomes a stream down her cheek. " I really did miss you. Jerk." Michael grips her tighter. Then looks at her. "You look pitiful. Did your dad hit you again?" The worry increasingly grows on his face and she nods her head no. His eyes go wide. Like an owls. " Did the dreams come back?" He shivers as he says. Then he gulps. She pauses for a moment. Then nods her head yes. Because if she talks. Then she will burst into tears. And then she falls to her knees. She couldn't hold it in and she starts crying. He drops to the ground. Beside her and holds her In his arms. "It's ok. Im here now. Its winter so there aren't any bees around. Im here." He kisses her head and rubs her back. " I love you. Clarry." She can tell he's worried. Clarice looks up at him. He's shaking. He's had trouble saying I love you to anyone since he was put in the foster system. And after what his last foster family did to him after he dated their daughter. He must mean it. But before she can say it back the light ces on in her parents room. Then in her room. "Run!" She says to him. He nods then runs. She climbs back up the tree and into her room.the light was back off so she could probably sneak back into bed. But when she climbs in the window and turns to close it the light turns on. Clarice  turns to see her father punching her in the face. "You were with him again! Im your father! Listen to me! Look at me!" He's obviously drunk. And his clothes are disheveled. Her mother groans down stairs. He slaps clarry Again. And it knocks the wind out of her. She grabs her backpack and jumps out her window. She trys to grab the branch but falls. Spraining her ankle. But she keeps running. All the way into the woods. To their spot. Hers and Michaels. Where he carved their names into a tree... With a bee hive

Clarissa sees Michael in the distance. " You were right. He hit me again." She's sobbing now. " And he probably hit mom. But she doesn't care. Ok. I'll run away with you! Let's get married! I love you too!" She stops running. And he's silent. She takes a step closer. She still can't see him. It's too dark." Are you not gonna say anything? I was unsure because om alot younger then you... But now im sure. Let's run away together!" She's now worried because he's so still and quiet. Then she hears it. The buzzing. She runs up to him but gags and has to stop. He's dead and hanging from the tree. And he's covered in bees. Suddenly it's really warm. The bees are crawling out of his mouth and nose. And the holes where his eyes should be. One bee crawls into his ear. She has a flashback from the day he carved her name into the tree. The bees attached them then. And there beehive got smashed. She feels the scars on her arm and neck. From the bees. Then she feels a breese. And she turns to see the bees making the shape of a person. They grab her and lift her by her neck. Just like in her dreams. Except this time they blur into a relationship person. But yellow. And fuzzy. With black eyes. And striped hair. He's still buzzing. He opens his mouth and it's full of stingers. Then he grabs her and goes to bite down on her neck. She thinks this is the end but instead of killing her he kisses her neck pulling her closer. And he starts to look even more human as he does so. And they start to shrink. Down to the size of bees. He grows wings and carries her up into the "nest". She lives out the rest of her life as the queen of bees. Forced to have all the bee children's. And all of them are her husband's. At least she can gain comfort knowing she is always near her sweet Michael. And away from that wretched man. Her father. Who will never be her dad. But it is a false comfort only to cushion the horrible truth. That she ended up just like her mother. Forced into an unhealty marriage, because of a child they didn't want.

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19 Reviews

Points: 337
Reviews: 19

Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:11 pm
EmileeBrightman wrote a review...

I'd just liked to say that this was amazing! The way you came up with everything, and also based it around the whole family was awesome. I really enjoyed reading this a lot! Although it was a shorter story, it definitely got my attention. I hung onto it the whole time I was reading, and my eyes never drifted off my computer screen. The details that you added as well worked perfectly into the story, and kept the story going smoothly. I, for one, am a big horror story fan, and I'm happy that you've wrote this so well!

As I said before, this was great, and I enjoyed reading it very much. I hope that you continue to write more, because I know that I'll enjoy your other works just as much as I did this one. Keep up the awesome work! :D

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109 Reviews

Points: 11267
Reviews: 109

Sat Jun 08, 2019 5:42 pm
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silvermoon17 wrote a review...

i appreciate a good story, and this certainly is one of them. We've got stakes, we've got plots, and we've got characters. Until there, all set. Now, even though I think you could have explored in much more depth the whole thing about the abuse, as well as the dreams (like showing an actual dream sequence); but instead you just rush to the fleeing and all. Now, even though we immediately understand what happened to the guy, the whole becoming a bee scene, is quite a twist Ill admit. The only part I found a bit.. weird.. was when you say she was forced into a marriage with someone she didnt love. Why end that sad way with her surviving and her boyfriend dying, when both living together might've been much memorable, beautiful and..well.. where you could have made a sequel/prequel. That ending sticks me.. itches me.. somehow.. Im not sure if its because thats a metaphor of what happened to her mother.. or if it just is because how damned sad you made it appear.. as if its a fate she may never leave, exactly as her mothers case.. but all of that just ads to the taste of your story.

demoncat says...

I am so glad that you noticed the metaphor about the mother. I was hoping someone would. I might make a prequel later now that you say that but I don't know... Now you have made me wanna add to the story too. But I thought it deserved a sad ending. Plus I really wanted to focus on the end because well why not? And thank you for the feedback I appreciate it. Also I really hoped you liked it. I am glad you thought it was good.

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489 Reviews

Points: 5577
Reviews: 489

Sun Jun 02, 2019 7:14 pm
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Holysocks wrote a review...

Hey there! I thought I'd drop by for a review!

This was a pretty unique story, I'd say! I don't think I've ever seen one with bees as a sort of evil thing but also as a... relationship? And also as a metaphor for her family life as well? It was very different, but I like different because it means I have to read it all to see what happens! ^_^ So thank you for that experience!

One thing I wanted to mention quick before we get into things, is just that I thought this story could use a bit of a warning either via the rating system or just a note at the top about some parts being violent and/or a bit gruesome. This is just a suggestion- I know you have this story listed under horror, so people should know that's what they're getting into... but sometimes people don't see the genre tags! And I honestly was a little shocked when this story started going down the horror road after the sort of romance-y part! Just a little something to warn people what they're getting into might be nice. :D

Okay, so I thought it was a little odd that Clarissa ran to put makeup on when she realised her boyfriend was at the window. For one thing, I don't know about you, but when I do put makeup on, it's not a super quick thing- and I literally put on the bare minimum when I do (like mascara, and sometimes, sometimes lip gloss), so I have a hard time picturing her hurriedly getting on makeup fast enough. And the other thing isss if my boyfriend just got back from a long trip and I hadn't seen him in awhile, the LAST thing I would be thinking about would be makeup. I would just want to hug him that very instant!! The other thing is, I feel like maybe Clarissa doesn't know that most guys really don't care if a girl wears makeup or not!- I mean, if she simply feels more comfortable in it, that's one thing.. I know there's a lot of people that do it for that reason. But if she's doing it because she thinks he'll think she's ugly without it- I'm here to tell her now that that is NOT the case!

I think the biggest thing that I noticed in this story was the POV and tense. Because of the way this story was told- in a sort of past tense, third person POV, I felt very far away from the story, characters, and events that took place. And the reason it feels like this, is because as the reader, we're being told everything. Right from the start we're told that Clarissa is in her bedroom, trying to chill from a fight with her parents. And this is fine, we get to know what's happening. BUT for some reason when readers are told things, it's not as fun or as entertaining as figuring out that for ourselves- or seeing it for ourselves. So let me give an example of how third person past tense can be written in a way that's showing the readers a bit more, rather than just telling them flat out:

Flat-out telling:

There was a blade of grass that was green, and Kenny wanted to eat it because he was hungry.

More of suggesting:
Kenny's stomach grumbled as his eyes drifted to the lawn. The grass was so luscious and Kenny thought that ranch dressing might make it taste a little like salad.

See the difference? In the last one, I didn't say Kenny was hungry, and I didn't say he wanted to eat the grass, but yet you still knew he was hungry and that he wanted to eat the grass! And for some reason now, we're wondering why Kenny wants to eat the grass- where as with the first one, we really don't care that much? If that makes sense. For some reason in writing, sometimes we have to dance around what the flat-out thing is we want to say, and instead write something that rather leads us to that conclusion. Not always, though; sometimes we have to just flat out say it. But usually we want to try to spice it up a bit and lead the reader to what's happening through images and stuff like that. C:

I also wanted to say that I really like bees and I thought this was a really cool idea that you did it with bees. Probably because bees are just so innocent and cute and don't want to do anyone any harm usually- so it was kinda cool to see their butt-kicking side! Though I have to say, I was kinda thinking it was going to end kinda happy? ( I know, I know, it's a horror, they don't end happyyy) Like, Clarissa is the queen bee. Bee's live and die for their queen. Clarissa now has an entire bee ARMY. I kinda felt like, she is now super powerful and... I don't know, she could totally get revenge on her parents >.> Not that I support revenge at all but you know. But that's just my thoughts!

Anyway, keep up the good work! ^_^ I look forward to seeing more from you in the future!


demoncat says...

Thank you I thought maybe the third person wasnt the best idea. And I see what you mean with the makeup. I put that there because if my boyfriend came to see me and I had tears all over my face then I would at least want some foundation on to cover up the redness you know? And I will put the warning too. I did wanna put it in a happier light at the end so thanks for noticing. And thank you for reading. This is only the second work I've posted on here. Even though I've been on yws for years.

demoncat says...

Thank you I thought maybe the third person wasnt the best idea. And I see what you mean with the makeup. I put that there because if my boyfriend came to see me and I had tears all over my face then I would at least want some foundation on to cover up the redness you know? And I will put the warning too. I did wanna put it in a happier light at the end so thanks for noticing. And thank you for reading. This is only the second work I've posted on here. Even though I've been on yws for years.

Holysocks says...

You're welcome! c: and oooh, I hope you post more! c:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss