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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Sorry for the delay! Hey Ember!!
Okay, well, that was definitely unexpected but it was a great end to a great play.
Now, for an overall review. I'm not familiar with screenplays but I'll give you a review as a story writer. Certain things I would have liked to know like: Was Mark 'in on it' the whole time or had Vivica recently recruited him?
I also would like to have a few transitional chapters/scenes between those for some explainations. I understand that Vivica was all Andrea had but how could she have hidden the immence wealth from her? Were they living in poverty or well?
Well, that's about it. I can say that I absolutely loved this whole play and would have loved to have seen it played. You did a great job creating very vivid characters, great work!!
Hope this helps, keep more screenplays coming!!
Tanya
Arg, can't believe I didn't reply to this! Really sorry about that Tanya. I hope you at least vaguely remember the script, I removed it to limit the chances of copyright infringement...
Your answers:
1. Mark was loyal to Andrea the whole time. Vivica thought she had him in her pocket, but Mark was actually tricking her, possibly following a plan that Andrea had agreed upon.
2. Vivica simply didn't tell Andrea she was to inherit (just in case this caused Viv to lose her power over her). They lived off whatever Vivica made while she was waiting for Andrea to turn 18 so that she could put another plan into motion - perhaps getting Andrea to collect the inheritance then killing her and claiming it for herself with forged papers (as an example). But any plans she had were foiled when Andrea left her before her 18th birthday. She was forced to change tactics...
Note: The script was originally written and performed as a stage play, but would love to adapt it for the screen! I had to limit transitional scenes because this was a 30-45min play and may have dragged it. I will see if I can add extra dialogue in the existing final scene to clarify Mark's true intentions.
Happy Holidays!
This isn't really a review; sorry! It's just that I can't really find much to critique here at all. Especially not something that I haven't already mentioned before. Your grammar was great and so was your spelling.
I agree with Isha, I didn't see that coming. That's something you're really good at, creating twists in your scripts. I really do congratulate you for that. Your characters are also very interesting and unique. I also applaud you for that. Sorry I'm not much help at all...
Keep writing!
xoxo Skins
Woah... nice! Did not see that one coming at all!
I really liked this last scene, it was really good!
I don't have anything to point out... That whole twist was an amazing ending. Very, very nicely done! Sad it's over though... I loved reading this!
Thanks so much for keeping me up to date!