Young Writers Society

Hey there!

I'm more here to tell you how much I liked rather than review it. Besides the misspelling of apologizing in the first line, I think your grammar and spelling were pretty well done. At least from a novel writers point of view, I was under the impression poets had more creative freedom, so forgive me if I'm forgetting to point out something blatantly obvious.

As for content, I loved the poem. It felt like a direct narration of something straight out of real life. Maybe this is a personal opinion, but that's my favorite type of writing, when the writer is able to pass their emotions to the reader through their writing. It shows that they really put feeling into their writing.

And I loved that touch at the end, the 'Yours His Truly' bit. Yeah, I really liked that
Your a great writer, and poet, so keep up the good work

Hi.

I'm going to say that this is cute. It's a nice way to tell someone you don't like them. haha
Anyways, this is really good, it was a nice read.
One direct critique: *apologizing.
Other than that I don't have any other critiques. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.

~Tale <3 xxx

Hey,
This was just amazing. Truly fabulous. The way the author chose to apologize instead of pretense is great! The words, the symbolism, the emotions, evrything was spot-on!

And the ending is honest and touching. Great work! Looking forward to read more of your writing.

Wow, this is absolutely incredible.
Your imagery and symbolism was effective and made the reader feel as though they were standing there right next to you.

No criticisms whatsoever. I look forward to reading more of your writing!!

I love this, it's amazing, I loved the closing, you can tell this one came from your heart I love it, I loved the key, that was perfect, I give this a 10/10. It was awesome.

Thank you for your generous feedback Fire, Cookie, and Vyper

IrishFire, the narrator of the poem is aware of how rude she sounds (hence the apology), but prefers honesty over pretence. She is not attacking Future Lover, she is just as sad that this new person is not likely to live up to "him". She wants to move on you see, but at this particular time, has not healed enough to be open to the possibility. I hope you also noted the reason why "he" cannot move on either...

ChocoCookie, I'm glad I've disguised my mistakes well enough to deceive you

ShadowVyper, thank you... not writing it would take more guts.

Wow.
I could think of nothing else to say for five minutes. I completely understand where this is coming from -- I've been in this situation before.
I can really feel your emotion behind this piece. At first, I wasn't sure what this would be about. Now I understand. Now I can completely relate to it. It's a beautifully written poem. It sounds rude, if you think about it, because you're telling this future person that they'll never reach HIS bar, and that they should give up because they can never win your affections. But hey, I know the feeling. Besides, you put it so eloquently. I really love this poem.
I like how you scratched out "yours" and put "his" for the signature.
This whole thing is passionate, honest, and powerful. I love it.
Keep writing!
-Fire

Ember

I loved it. You're a really good writer and I don't think I found any mistakes that I have to point out. Great work done!

Keep Writing!~

ChocoCookie

Hey Ember!

Wow. This is really good! It really presents the feelings of all of us who have been a lover someone, when the love wasn't meant to be. How the memory of that person eats away at you and holds you back from moving forward until you let go of the past.

Very good.

It takes alot of guts to write a piece like this, and a lot of talent to write it so well.

Keep writing!

~Shady