the thirst driven judges staring at a piece of
what? dried meat?
though they're looking for blood, something juicy
to quench a thirst that will never be quenched
and will only ever ask for
MORE
because a vampire will never be happy with the perfect drink
he will only ever suck it up and swallow
leave it a mess for someone else to dress the wounds
toss it aside for the next one to show
and let them feed on it 'til it's dry
the trickery of judgement embraced by what the world calls
SOCIETY
because no vampire's thirst will ever be quenched
and whether you know it or not
we're all just looking for blood
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140,548 Literary Works • 673,419 Reviews
Hey there! Shey here for a review!
I really enjoyed this poem. It was fun and entertaining, in the sense that it was very serious. It clearly displayed what you thought to be a serious issue, but also I could tell how passionate you were for it.
My only major comment is the seperation, or lack of. Stanzas are difficult to do in the publishing center, but heres how. Click on the button on the top left, which reads "</>". Then take each part that you want to be its own stanza, and put <p> at the beginning and </p> at the end. Then at the end of each you line, put </be>, to break it. Repeat this for each stanza, and you should be all set. Another simpler, but less appealing approach is to put a - or an * between lines.
I really loved the capitalized words with there own lines, because it was a nice accent. It would have been nice if they had their own indents, however, is a suggestion. You can accomplish that with the coding I showed you previously, because the <p> </p retains white space between it. So, it can be used for that as well.
Overall, great poem! I look forward to seeing more from you! Keep up the great work!
It didn't really have any specific separation with stanzas, so I just left it. It was how I made it when I first wrote it, but thank you for the tip!!!
I, honestly, don't really do poetry often, quite frankly. But there are a few times where I had found a poem that had just completely captured me. This was one of those poems, I can gladly say. I really enjoyed this poem, and not because I just say I like all of your work (though I totally and completely do— no lie). I genuinely connected with the poem and found it to be pretty deep. All in all, I just completely enjoyed this lol.
I REALLLLY LIKE THE ENDING (LAST 3 LINES) I FELT SO PROUD AND I STILL CANT STOP BEING PROUD Boi