Published April 13, 2006
Ok, I hope I haven't posted this too late, but heres my attempt at this challenge 
Closure
‘I’ve never been to this beach alone before‘ she thought as she parked. Today, though, she was completely and utterly alone. Not only did no one accompany her, but the beach itself was deserted.
She sat in her car at the top of the dunes, watching the waves roll in and recede under the darkened sky. Pushing back the painful memories that threatened to overwhelm her, she worked up the courage to walk, walk along the beach that they had walked so many times before.
The first thing she felt as she climbed out of the car was the cold, the wind taking away any last warmth from the sun that could have penetrated through the dense cloud.
“This was a bad idea,” she muttered, the wind whipping away her words in a second.
Still, though she kept walking, she needed to do this, for herself, for him.
Her shoes dug into the soft sand as she trudged along the beach, keeping her eyes lowered until she reached their place, that was theirs and seemed to be theirs alone. The little sheltered alcove under the strip of trees parallel to the beach.
She could no longer block out his face, it was here that she felt closest to him and it was here that she finally let the memories of him wash over her. She could see him, feel him. She saw his grey-blue eyes just about to close as they kissed for the first time. Feel his arm around her shoulders as they shared a picnic. Hear his soft rhythmic breathing as he slept in the shade as she watched his chest rise and fall.
Here is where she finally let herself cry for him. He died away from all his loved ones, breathing his last breath with no one to comfort him. He would never see his children grow up. Never come home to the place he loved so much, such a peaceful place away from all the war and terror that claimed his life.
Sobs racked her body as she sat on the carpet of pine needles under those immense trees. She felt small and unimportant, unlike when she was here with him. The wind howled through the trees, the waves crashed on the shore, these cycles went on. Nothing, it seemed, missed a beat because of her misery.
When she had all but run out of tears she knew what she had to do next. She dug in the earth beneath the trees with her bare hands. It was soft enough to dig her nails in to prise out the dirt for her hole. When she had a small hole big enough, she gently placed in it the satin covered box that held their wedding rings.
“I still love you and I always will” she said quietly as she placed a handful of soil on that precious box.
The first drops of rain fell as she strode back up the beach. She didn’t care though; she had done what she needed to do. Though she knew that she would never come back here. Not without him.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
137,415 Literary Works • 672,005 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Well this was a very sad little story. It's beautifully written and it does such a good job of showcasing the emotions of our protagonist that I almost had to go chop some onions. It's a really well done piece that flows very smoothly and very easily gets across the story.
Anyway let's get right to it,
A very nice opening that immediately established what's going on. It sets the setting and introduces the main conflict too so that's awesome.
It's the onions. I promise.
Nice little description there.
This little flashback is really well done here to show us that very important memory.
An unfortunate truth of life that one.
Okay this action almost took me out here. This is so well written and so sad.
Don't worry. Don't worry at all. One day you will walk along that beach once more. And you will not be alone. That I can promise you.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Um...WOW. That's all I have to say here. I think that's enough. The character is so well presented with her emotions being very clearly portrayed and the descriptions complement it beautifully. I honestly can't even spot a typo in this one. GREAT JOB!!!
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Thanks for the positive feedback
Very vividly felt, dele. It's an intense weaving of scene and character - though short and quick.
Congratulations - you did win the challenge, yes? ^_^
IMP
You almost had me crying
. This story was so touching!
Wow, that is an awesome story! I think it captured the theme really well! It is a very emotional piece...great job!