Published March 11, 2011
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Canary word: Present
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130,338 Literary Works • 671,513 Reviews
It is a true story, to answer your indirect question. It's an account of my 13th b-day. I hope you enjoy the gift I sent you for reviewing my work. Well, have a writing-filled day!
I really liked this story. I know that this wasn't your point, but I found it very easy to relate to. I share a lot of the same thoughts and issues as the main character (or you if it's a true story). The only thing that really bothered me was the different font colours. It's fine if you want to type in different colours, it makes the story more visually appealing, but some of the colours were hard to read. The light blue and pink at the bottom weren't the easiest to read. I think it would be benificial to change them to darker shades.
You just forgot the first quotation.I also have a few grammatical suggestions:
I think it would sound better if you added "about" or another similar word in there.
I think you should combine those two sentences together.
This one isn't a huge deal, I just personally think it sounds better.
These are all just suggestions, so you use them if you like. Overall, I really enjoyed you story! I think you are a talented writer and you have a good vocabulary.
Thanks. And yeah, more than half of the story takes place in the school. But I'm glad you liked it. I didn't exactly write it to relate to anybody, I kinda just re-capped today's events.
I love this, mostly because my birthday is coming up. But, I really like it, it deals with the real emotions. but, I have not been in school since I was younger. So I don't know about that part but the rest is totally good.