Published December 31, 2010
removed at request of author.
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138,977 Literary Works • 672,393 Reviews
Hey there! I love the song Lucky, by the way! lol
So, I didn't really notice much mistakes in here -- just a couple, if any, really. The only nitpick I have is about the start.
It just seems unecessary, considering the fact that in the following line you're talking about plopping into the pile of snow. So maybe take that out? Just a suggestion.
OVERALL:
So, truly, this was good. It seemed really heartfelt, all things considered. I've never really had to deal with losing a friend to another place far away. But you brought in a new perspective -- and it sounds like it really sucks. But you stuck through, and you had hope. I hope you do [or did] get to see your friend Liberty again! All the best!
-- Flux
I agree... this is in the wrong catagory, it should be in short stories.
I have to admit that I was kind of confused with this, it does not make much sense to me...
Anyway, it was a good story although confusing, so keep writing!
CassidyRose
Hey, deelish!
It's 'years I' not 'yearsI'.I thought this was really, really good. Very deep and sweet. I love your writing style.
One tiny typo:
Wonderful last line. Love it!
Happy Review Day!
Sierra.
Hey,
This is in the wrong catergory, it should be in short story
It was good and very moving, well done.
It go through with a fine comb as I noted one or two punctuation errors but nothing major.
Keep it up and PM me for anything.
~Retro Disco666