Published May 4, 2007
as i look for those who weep
as i look for those who love
as i look for those who laugh
as i look deep in your eyes
i see the endless love you have for me
so take me
I'm your and i will love as much as you love me
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141,247 Literary Works • 674,329 Reviews
althopugh it seems pretty romantic from the surface, this poem hasn't got much depth in it.
It's short n' sweet but that's all there is to it.
And please put punctuation marks and capitalize your first letters in ach line and use title case for the title.
the poem started OK but it ended so bad...the reader has the feeling that the narratoe has something more to say but just doesn't. that's not nice!
Romance...romance makes me...makes me...*hurridley runs outside and vomits*
*comes back inside* Sorry about that. Romantic poetry just doesn't do anything for me, but I must say that I liked the repetition. After me will be another critiquer who'll probally say that they hate the repetition, but I likes it.
You need to put capitals where capitals are due, and "your" should be "your's", I'm thinking? Short, but I don't think that matters.
This does feel a little cliched...but doesn't ALL romantic poetry/fiction get a trifle banal? Don't get put off by this - I repeat: I liked the structure of this poem.
-Twit