A poem that i wrote for my english elective class

by ddutrieuil
  • October 13, 2008
  • Poetry
  • Lyrical

To thee

I opened my heart to thee
But all you did was rob me of my joy
I opened my heart to thee and
You did was spit on me

I opened my heart to thee
And now I wish I hadn’t
I opened my heart to thee
And now I feel like I was
Just your habit

I confessed my love to thee
And soon after you betray me
I confessed my love to thee
And you humiliate me
I confessed my love to thee
And you just took it for granite
And now I have seen that I have no love for thee

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esteria
Review
esteria wrote a review · Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:07 pm

ddutrieuil wrote:
I opened my heart to thee
And now I wish I hadn’t
I opened my heart to thee
And now I feel like I was
Just your habit



what if you said
'..And now I feel like I was
just a habit'.

i think it would sound better...just my opinion.

I also think punctuation would help. It would make it easier to read especially the last stanza.



That, sir, is the most frightening battlefield in the world: the blank page.
— Larry McMurtry, Comanche Moon