Published March 12, 2010
What beautiful eyes watching the words,
We type to and fro beneath the distant Georgia skies.
Her heart is there for me to see
And all she asks is all of me.
I oblige her crystal eyes
And give me all, to she.
Miles separate but not beset
The thoughts that we share.
While I watch the the sun set,
she breathes the Georgia air.
The color purple drapes her mind
And soft words make beautiful accent to the things she thinks.
Music notes and sad memories haunt her.
A beautiful mind so much like mine,
Her mind sounds like acoustic guitar
And her soul can shine
Right into her crystal eyes
Distance and time, the only things that separates us.
You don’t hold cards,
and your walls are so thin
I can see you for all you are and I like it.
A reflection, a mirror, so alike
I can see the shiny golden you
Standing on a moonlight beach beneath stars
That lean down to kiss you.
I will lie awake and see you
On that starlit bay feeding, the moon
Her glorious light, through your crystal eyes.
When the time passes
And if distance closes,
I will hold her hand and kiss it.
Her soul, its beautiful
Like her crystal eyes.
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Wow! This poem was told with a lot of heart, and it flowed so nicely that it was a pleasure to read. When you mentioned "Georgia", I've never been there- but I pictured something seet. I don't know why, but that was the setting of this poem for me, and reading it took me to the "happy place". Thank you for writing such a beautiful poem, it was lovely. =)
beautiful just beautiful
Hello.
There are many parts I think you did well. It rhymes without being strained, for one. For another, you help the reader to visualize Hannah and her life. I think you can do this without coloured font, though; I found that to be a little distracting.
Also, I'm not sure about the stanza that starts with "Distance". It seems to talk about more than one topic at once. You are separated from her, then you can see her like a reflection. It's a little confusing.
I do like your use of imagery, though ("starlit bay feeding the moon "). I think you have a natural way with words.
--MM
that was awwwwwwwwwwwwesome! Sorry, so sorry I can't write more. I don't have much time. But that's amazing poetry you've got there! I can tell you're a poet