Chapter III
“We need to get up to that mountain.” Carson said looking at a map that he had lain on the ground. “It's seven days journey if we left now.” Preston sat down on the ground, rubbing his hands over the ash stained grass. His thoughts were being haunted by the dragon's shrieking roar and fiery breath.
“Then let's go!” Preston said forcing the horrific images out of his mind, he stood up and hopped up on Turtle. Carson rolled up the map and mounted his steed, and together they left the remains of the burning village and rode towards the mountain.
“Where do you hail from?” Carson asked as they trotted side by side “I couldn't ask earlier in between everything that was happening but you seem a decent enough fellow.”
“I hail from Pholomen Northeast of here” Preston said then in turn he asked “How do you think we will slay the beast?” Carson grimaced and didn't say anything for a moment as if he was thinking about it.
“Teamwork.” He said finally “No one man can do it alone, it is impossible.” Preston nodded his agreement, Carson's words rang true teamwork was the only possible way to defeat such a beast. Preston also wondered about the reward, if they were to work as a team who would get all the glory and praise? Who would get the princess? Someone would have to fight, not for the reward but for a friend, they would have to sacrifice being a legend in order to let someone else do it.
“I agree” Preston said, he decided against bringing up the subject of who got what, he didn't fancy breaking up the friendship that he had just formed, he knew Carson would be a key in the final fight. But would Preston, if he had too, could he give up all that he was fighting for? For someone he had just met? All of the thinking was making Preston's head hurt so he decided to just relax and enjoy the ride to the mountains, the days excitement was over.
“Do you think we could win?” Carson asked out of the blue but the question didn't surprise Preston, he had been pondering the same thing the whole entire journey, ever since he had received a letter.
“It depends on what we are fighting for.” He said finally after some silence. “What do you fight for Carson?” Carson smiled at the question but didn't answer.
“Come on!” He said “There is place just a little ways further where we can rest ourselves.” It was quiet afterwards, until they found the place Carson had been referring to, they stopped next to a large oak which grew right next to a little brook that flowed with crystal clear water. Preston tied Turtle to a hanging branch of the oak with a long rope so that his horse could eat the grass around them but also get a drink of water. He then got his bedroll and tossed it out on the ground, Preston then started searching around for food.
“What are you doing?” Carson asked who was sitting down eating a ration of some sort on his own bedroll. “Did you forget to bring a snack for the journey?”
Preston pulled some wild onions out of the ground before he decided to reply.
“I brought food, enough for the whole journey there and back, but I would rather save my rations for up in the cold mountains where I’ll need it. Down here it is easy to find some herbs and wild vegetables and berries.” Carson smiled and wrapped the ration he had been eating up and got up to help Preston search for some food that they could cook up and eat. After about an hour of searching, and some hunting done by Carson, they now had a small feast which consisted of a rabbit on a spit, some onions that were being boiled in a small travel pot and a bowlful of blackberries that Preston had found. The two knights happily ate everything that they had, savoring each piece for they knew not what the next day would bring.
Preston woke up the next morning hearing a sound, he opened his eyes and searched around for what caused the noise, there was a person walking through their camp. Not knowing whether it was a friend or a foe Preston jumped up as fast as he could, drawing his sword in the process. With a scream the figure jumped in surprise and knelt down apparently shocked.
“Preston?” Carson asked jumping up at the sight of his companion with his weapon drawn. “Whats going on?”
“Who are you?” Preston asked a little nicer than he normally would have, but considering the figure was already kneeling down on the ground in surprise. “And, are you ok?”
“Yes, I am fine, no thanks to you.” She said, Preston grimaced, it was one thing to just scare someone, it was another thing to scare some girl with an attitude on her.
The girl looked to be in her twenties, she had dirty blonde hair and a dark face, she was covered in ash.
“You were in the village?” Preston asked, at the mention of the village the girl became still and quietly nodded her head.
“Why are you here?” Carson asked again, no matter how poor this girl seemed they needed to make sure she wasn't a threat. “What's your name?”
“My name is-” Her voice was cut off by a whistling sound, an arrow had just missed the girl and landed in the brook.
“Get Down!” Preston yelled “We're being attacked!”
End of chapter
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Okay, I like how you made this nice and short, as if to give the reader a little break and keep from overwhelming them. You ended this at a good cliffhanger, although the readers should know who the person is. I think that this was very well written and that maybe you could have left a little more mystery in the previous chapters to have readers guess a little more. I shall read on.
Okay, so here I am for a quick review!
)
Now, the main problem I noticed in here is the way that you tried to mix older knightly jargon with present speaking techniques. That didn't work out too well. Using 'hail' makes everything feel wrong, especially when you've just used a word like 'couldn't' (You don't use two words mashed together like this in old English, you'd use 'could not'.
Another thing, ACTION IS ALWAYS IN THE PRESENT! If you put action in the past it completely kills it!
Also, you have Preston asking Carson (or vice versa) questions like 'will we win?' Questions that should naturally be answered by the story itself. Don't put in questions like that, you're just trying to solve a problem the easy way - don't do it or you'll get trouble only.
That last little piece of action with the arrow was in the past.
Otherwise good work, very interesting.
I enjoyed. Right now I'm wanting to go read the rest of it.
(You really need an avatar
~Black~
Thank you so much for the review I really appreciate it!