Young Writers Society

I like it! It is interesting and outstanding. I love the descriptive words too! It also has a great meaning behind it! Good job! Your a good poet and I like your poetry. I can't wait to read more. I think your an excellent poet! Great job! your poem is just so subtle. Keep writing!

From,
Buddy886551

simple, but surprisingly not cliche or boring.

i tire of first time writer's clumsy words.



these were a nice change

There was talk of connection,

There were bowed heads and sighs.

There was talk of deception,

Yet I could see through the lies.

There was talk of abduction,

There were false alibies.

Photographed mutilation,

I saw pain in his eyes.

There was talk of execution,

My father gasped with surprise.

There was a courtroom eruption,

Then no more suits, shoe's and tie's. (Sounds a little off)

It was false accusation,

Yet still tearful goodbyes.

Then came notification,

But mum said love never dies.

To be honest, I don’t even know why I am bothering to crit this, it is practically flawless. Your flow and rhythm are very good and it has a very strong feel to it. Keep up the good work.

I like it. It has a good rythym to it and it is very....how do you say it......shoot....I don't know how to say it. It's unexplainable ! I also agree with the user above the user above me. You should take the apostrephes out of that one line. It is very good.

I agree. You should lose the "Then no more suit's, shoe's and tie's. " But other that that it was pretty good.

I really liked it except for, "Then no more suit's, shoe's and tie's." You could change it to "Then no more suits nor ties" because otherwise you made it sound like you were trying to make it rhyme.

Another powerful poem by you... that last line is great.

Only suggestion here is to take the apostrophe out of "shirt's, shoe's and tie's." It's not needed.

Anyways, this is superb.

I really like that its got the kinda feelings mine usually have