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On the saxophone,
if I would,
you’d listen to me,
sonorous screaming.
I have art in my eyes,
I see streetlights as oil paints,
only my fingers smudge the glass.
Words, then, were a way.
Write words across your bared chest,
Cut them into your skin,
Cook them, eat them, choke on the snakes;
Warm them and feed them like frozen vipers
Watch them mushroom and morph.
And if I wore words like awards, I thought,
One would be obliged to applaud
The unzipping of unimportant atoms.
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Am moon!! Not the one on the sky ok! Yay~
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This is really beautiful poem.I think this poem is about someone who wants to express themselves through art and words and wants others to listen to them and appreciate their creativity. I like how you describe streetlights as oil paints. It was interesting to read.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
Actually i found some parts were difficult to read and understand. So you could make it easy to understand to readers i think. Its just my thoughts.
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
I like that streetlight line so much but i didn't understand that finger smudge line there. and feed vipers. Too so my favorite line is
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall it was good, i understand the message and the thing writer want to express here. Keep writing!! Thank you for sharing. Yay~