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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
not bad, not bad ^_^ I rather like this. To me bad days are like hell too.
I like this part ^_^
everytime you make a new part capitalize the word.
best of luck
~maki-chan
All in all this didn't really stick with me, you need to watch your grammar and your flow. In some places you have a a rhyme scheme and then all of the sudden you don't any more. Then all of the sudden you will again. It;s a little confusing. Also some times you are talking about your self and then you are talking to someone else, it's very odd.
Try revising this, use the thesaurus and see what you can do about the rhythem.
Good Luck
OverEasy
Very nice. I like how you compare a bad day to hell. That must have been an awful day. But, I don't think Hell is darkness, I believe it is is an endless pit of fire, so it will be brightly lit
Anyway, nice poem and keep it up!