16+ Language Mature Content

Pokemon Ultimate Evolution: Through The Middle, Episode 3: "That's not my Sato!"

by dark

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.

A shrill cry sliced through the air as fire and smoke rose from the left of the Trainer's school. Zenith's Talonflame sped off, their laughs barely audible amidst the sound of fire overtaking the school.

"Let us awaken the worse in ourselves!" He yelled back. 

Without a second thought I jumped to my feet and raced down to the school as fast as I could. Violet was already there, starting in horror at the flaming building from across the street, Jason held close to her chest.

"What the hell happened?" She gasped.

"I dunno, but I think Zenith had something to do with it." I answered quickly. "Here, take this." I handed her the Key Stone.

"A Key Stone? Where did you get this?" She asked.

"I'll explain later!" I shouted, running towards the school. "I've got to make sure no one's left inside!"

"Be careful! The place is falling apart!" Violet yelled back.

I nodded, not looking back. I charged shoulder first through the front double doors. They flew off their hinges with ease, already weakened by the blast. The fire was spreading through the halls along the right walls. I shuffled along the lockers on the left as I made my way to Tracey's office. I heard a faint cough and busted my way through the door of the office.

"Trace!" I shouted as I saw her trapped under some rubble. I knelt down and tossed the debris off of her. Her forehead was cut and bleeding. Her eyes fluttered open for a moment as she coughed hard. I hoisted her onto my back and dashed back towards the exit, hugging the lockers again. A fire crew was already working on controlling the flames. One of them brought a stretcher over.

"How long was she in there?" The woman asked.

"Not too long." I replied, gently placing her on the stretcher. "I went over as soon as I saw the explosion, I live right across the street, thankfully."

Tracey slowly opened her eyes and gazed at us, trying to figure out her surroundings. "Donna…" She whispered. "W-where's Donna?"

"We did find a young girl on the ground on the side of the building. She was toss through the wall from where I assume the bomb went off." The woman answered. "She lost consciousness before we got to her."

"Oh no…" Tracey moaned, more aware of her situation. "That little girl, tricked us!"

"Sato?" I said, afraid of what she might say.

"That's what she said her name was, but…" She paused. "That's not the Sato I knew. She wouldn't hurt us. She also said that what she was supposed to be called Sato, as per orders from her father. She didn't know what his name was though… All she said was "Let us awaken the worst in ourselves."

"I was just with Zenith… He's done something, I know it. He ran off after the blast." I clenched my fists. "We can't worry about him now though. How did Sato…" I stopped myself, know full well that anyone who caused the explosion couldn't have been my Sato. "How did… that girl cause the blast?"

The service woman rolled Tracey over to an ambulance where she sat her up and tended to her wounds. "I have no idea." She said with a wince. "Next thing we knew, a blinding light and an immense surge of power poured out from her."

"What else, was she carrying anything? Anything at all?" I pushed. The more I knew the more I could find the girl and stop her.

"Um, she was clutching her necklace real tight. It had a little round stone embedded in the metal." Tracey sighed. "If I didn't know any better I would say it was-"

"A Gardevoirite?" I said. 

Tracey froze and shot me a peculiar look. "Y-yeah" She answered. "How'd you know?"

I sighed. "Before the explosion, Zenith gave me a keystone, and when he mentioned Sato's name…" I paused. "I think it activated the Gadevoirite that girl was holding…"

"Ryan, relax. You couldn't have known. I never knew Zenith was so crafty." Tracey said, with a sigh. "What puzzles me though is how he got a Kirlia to perform Mega Evolution. It's been tested several times; they just aren't supposed to be able to do that."

"How do you know it's impossible?" I asked.

Ryan, you and I studied it for five years." Tracey scoffed. "There's nothing we missed, I know it."

"So how did-" 

"Ryan, I'm confused too, but honestly there's nothing we can do now, except find that girl." Tracey looked over at the school, the last of the embers were beginning to die. "Looks like I'll have to close up for a while, huh?"

"Yeah, but the damage could've been worse." I replied. I looked at the woman patching up Tracey's forehead wound. "Miss, make sure she's taken care of, will you?"

"Of course." She smiled. "Miss Davis, would you lie back down for me so we can get take you in? We'll need to have a better look at you."

Tracey obeyed without a word. "Ryan?" She said, closing her eyes. "I know you probably want to go after that girl, but wait a little bit."

I nodded and watched as the ambulance drove off. "I will figure this out." I whispered to myself. "I will."

----

"So how did it go hon?" Zenith asked, loving taking the girl into his arms. "How much damage did we, I mean, you cause?"

The girl quaked in his arms. "Enough t-to get their attention. J-just like you wanted…" She answered. 

"There's a good Sato." Zenith hummed. He gently pushed her forward. "Let me get a good look at you."

The girl turned around and looked up at him. Her a appearance was drastically altered. Her skirt was light blue and pointed downwards, and there were faint blue markings strewn all over her body. Hey left eye was light blue while her right eye remained its normal red color. Zenith sucked in as he looked her over. "You're beautiful…" He said.

The girl remained silent. Zenith knelt down and lifted her chin, staring right into her eyes. "Don't worry, my love. We just need to cause a little chaos in Rustboro, and then we can run of somewhere just the two of us."

"How much is a little?" The girl asked, quickly facing the floor. "I'm sorry, daddy."

"No, no. You have a voice, you should use it." Zenith reassured her. "You'll find out soon enough, hon. I promise."

"A-and then we can have o-our, um..." The girl shook her head. "Our happily ever after?"

"That's right, Sato." Zenith stood up and looked down at her. "You remember the place I told you to go?"

"Yes, daddy." The girl nodded. "I'll… I'll try my hardest make you happy." The girl teleported away in a flash of faint blue light.

"Oh, Rustboro. It'll be a treat to watch you burn at our will…" Zenith chuckled.

----

"So, you think Zenith is doing all of this for revenge? Sounds dumb."

"Actually, Vi… I know what to think. I'm so confused." I said.

"You, confused?" Violet scoffed. "That isn't like you at all…" Violet snuggled closer to me under the sheets. "I left Jason, with my mom and Magenta. I hope that's okay."

"Yeah, thanks..." I said hollowly.

"Ryan, listen. It bothers me too. The Sato we knew couldn't hurt anyone." Violet sighed. "I guess Zenith managed to turn her…"

"That's not my Sato!" I sat up and faced her. "How could you possibly believe that she'd change so easily?"

Violet furrowed her brows. "I don't know what to think…" She said softly. "It was your touch that awakened the Keystone, and no one, not even me, was as close to her as you were. I don't want to believe it either, but what the hell do you want me to believe?" She reached over and took me in her arms. "If Zenith managed to do this to her… I'll kill him myself…"

Her words surprised me. "Vi, I"

"Never mind…" She shook her head and got out of bed. She quickly got dressed and left. "I'll be back." She whispered.

Sitting there, I stared at the door, wondering what she was up to.

Vi… You're wrong…

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
roeckercody
Review

Woah. This is so interesting.

Hey! It's roeckercody here for a review on this veey fine review day! I am representing The Water Tribe!

I have not read the prior episodes, and I hope that doesn't hinder me too badly while eriting this review. (Sorry for the typos, I am writing this from an android phone with horrid autocorrect, that doesnt do squat.)

Anyways, this was good. I personally love pokemon and all the concepts involved so it was nice to see this. The fresh take on this is awesome! Especially with a actually cool villain who actually isnt stupid!.yay for realistic villains. I appreciate it.

Writing wise you have great descriptions and the action is well written -- I find it diffixult to write action scenes and you did it with ease it seems-- this is a very actionpacked episode and I eill read more of your work because it is beautiful.

I like the inclusion of mega evolution and key stones especially with Gardevoir and Kirlia I think taking a psychic pokemon (and fairy too now right?) Is great because they can be.manipulated and there is a lot of storyline you can create with them.

Again, I appreciate your use of new pokemon lingo. I hope everyone can understand this piece without it? Which they should be able to.... anyway, you have good capabilities and I think you have great potential as a writer.

Your characters are slightly one dimensional. Violet and Ryan grow out of that, but the otbers have that problem. I hope to see you add layers of depth to them in the near future!

Thank you for.submittinf your writing!
Keep writing
Habe a wonderful day!
- Cody :)

Hey, thanks for the review! Your input is greatly appreciated.
By the way, I noticed you posted the same review multiple times and the later ones were posted a minute later%u2026 I hope that was a glitch and not you trying to cheat for points. Sorry, if this isn't your doing, but understand it does look a tad suspicious%u2026

I have no idea how this happened. Honestly. I just noticed it now. How did that even happen? It was definitely some glitch. Sorry about that.

No problem. Sorry for being overly suspicious.

User avatar
TheSilverFox
Review

Hello, dark. I, TheSilverFox, am here today to review your work! :D

You know, I'm quite impressed by the amount of action that you've managed to pack into this story. The massive explosion, the relief efforts, the main character's saving the life of a friend, the partial exposing of a dangerous plot...this story has numerous exciting and fascinating scenes, and they all add together to form a wonderfully-composed, action-packed story. I was never bored during the course of reading this story; there's always something around every corner, some form of a secret being revealed, and old ties questioned. All in all, in terms of plot and action in the story, you did an exceptional job composing this energetic, fast-paced composition.

The same can be said about your characters. I'm fascinated by the wide variety of people within the story. The main character is brave, cunning, and also quite defensive about Sato, who I can tell she respects dearly. I feel bad for her, as she is sure that Sato wouldn't cause this damage, hurt these people, and cause such devastation. She is fighting an uphill battle to maintain Sato's innocence, In the meantime, Violet asserts otherwise, and her evidence, alongside Tracey's, is quite compelling. Finally, it is clear what Sato's intentions are, as, in her conversations with Zenith, she appears to not only be his daughter, but his accomplice in the explosion and what appears to be future crimes. Your wide variety of characters, each with their own personalities, opinions, and attributes, is impressive, and it is definitely part of what makes this story amazing.

However, in the course of the story, I noticed a series of errors that interfered with the flow of the story, and contained grammar and spelling mistakes.

A shrill cry sliced through the air as fire and smoke rose from the left of the Trainer's school. Zenith's Talonflame sped off, their laughs barely audible amidst the sound of fire overtaking the school.

"Let us awaken the worse in ourselves!" He yelled back.


Considering how you separate pieces of text in which the focus shifts from the main character to Zenith, I think you should include the "----" at the end of these sentences, so as to separate his point of view from that of the main character's. Unless, of course, the main character hears Zenith speak, which is highly unlikely. It states that his laughter is barely audible amidst the fire, so there's no way she could've heard him speak. And, while the main character asserts Zenith is at least partially responsible for this incident, she is not entirely sure of what he has done or how he has influenced the other characters in the story.

"We did find a young girl on the ground on the side of the building. She was toss through the wall from where I assume the bomb went off."


The correct word in this instance is tossed, not toss.


"That little girl, tricked us!"


The comma in this sentence is unnecessary.


Her a appearance was drastically altered.


The a in the above sentence doesn't belong.

I found no other errors in grammar or spelling throughout the story. In conclusion, the story is exceptional, dark. I enjoy the action that takes place, not to mention the wide variety of characters. Zenith's intentions are quite mysterious, and they interest me immensely. All in all, this story was an action-packed delight that leaves the reader curious, questioning of the characters, and wanting more, and I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter. Well done! :D

I appreciate the review Fox! :twisted: As I stated in my comment below, it took me over two months to get this particular part finished due to time restraints and unfortunate laziness%u2026 When I finally finished it I missed all of those errors. I don't usually go back and edit the nitpicks but I appreciate you pointing them out. Also sorry if I didn't make it clear enough, but

Spoiler
the Sato Ryan knew and the Sato that is working with Zenith are two different people. The Sato shown here is Zenith's lokerwhom he modeled after his daughter...
'm trying not to spoil anything, incase you want to read on%u2026 But again, thanks for the review. I'm not participating this time around but may the strongest team win!

User avatar
dark
Comment

Two months, much laziness and this is what i managed to get done? I'm so sorry. :|



Look closely. The beautiful may be small.
— Immanuel Kant, Philosopher