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Pokemon Ultimate Evolution Season Three: Episode 1, Rosy Locks

by dark


A/N: From now on, Evolution will be written in third person, like it should've been from the start.

Midnight arrived with a dreary howl from the rare blizzard that engulfed Fearahu city. Snow and hail flooded from the dark skies blowing sideways in the wind. Water dripped down the stairs of Ryan Sparker's porch, as any snow that came near was quickly melted by the immense heat coming off of Jason, Ryan's little brother. The boy paid no attention to the white stuff dampening his clothes, as he was too distraught to care.

It had been year since his first love, Flannery, died in his arms. Jake Woods, her own brother, was the one who did it, and after Ryan killed him, Jason believed that he had a chance to get over his loss. True he did get the closure he needed, but he wished he could talk to her again, just once. Flannery was his first girlfriend, and his first loss.

Cristina had been by his side ever since, never leaving him alone, unless she was asleep. Being one of his big sisters meant that he was her number one priority most of the time. Jason's mind was always clear and at ease when she was around; just looking at her made his heart skip beats and all of his worries disappear. Even so, when he was left alone with his thoughts, Jason usually ended up thinking about Flannery. The front door opened, and Cristina gasped as she spotted Jason sitting out in the cold.

"Hey, you." She said forcing down a cough. "You'll catch a cold out here."

"No, I won't..." Jason muttered. "I'm not cold."

"Ugh, c'mon, Jase." Cristina groaned. "How many times did I tell you that sulking will do you no good? What would Ryan say?"

"Nothing, because he's not here."

Ryan had left at dawn to train his team of two young Galvantula named Gavin and Jill, but he never came back.

"Knock that off, dammit!" Cristina hooked her arms under his and pulled him up. Jason rose but just stood there looking out towards the street. "He probably just got caught in the snow. Gavin and Jill are just kids you know. He wouldn't drag them through this mess."

"Yeah, sure." Jason sighed. Steam flew off of his body, as rose his temperature. His clothes dried off and he shuffled inside. "I'm gonna go take a bath..."

"Want me to come with?" His 13 year old sister took his hand.

"I'd rather be by myself for now, okay?" Cristina nodded and released him. "I'm sorry."

"For what, honey?" Cristina's head tilted slightly.

"For bein' a pest." He answered. Panara, his other sister who was now 19 like Ryan, would always say that if he felt that he was bothering one of them.

"Oh, hush up." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Go unwind, love. You're too tense."

----

As the sky grew lighter, the air somehow felt colder than before. Now only hail the size of golf balls fell from the sky, trapping the city's residents indoors. Ryan and the two Spidar lovers rested under a dome shaped art piece showcased in Fearahu's main park. It was large enough to be a pavilion. Part of their training was to learn how to endure harsh conditions, like blizzards or any move that was like one. However, he didn't want to push the kids too hard by putting them against the full force of the hail. Gavin and Jill were only 11 and 8 after all.

"You two are really good at staying warm, you know." Ryan said, lying against Gavin's giant side.

"Yeah, we had to be weary of the c-cold back home. We d-don't live inside like you do." Gav stuttered.

"Mhmm, and Gavy's back is so warm." Jill hummed.

"Well aren't you a lucky girl. You get to rest in his hairs while he shivers." Ryan laughed and pressed his back into Gavin's side more. "Not that I blame you, though. He's as warm as a marshmallow."

"I don't feel warm, though. E-either way, it's nice to have your wife on your b-back all the time, wouldn't ya s-say, Ry?" Gavin's fangs scraped together as he chattered.

"Well, I wouldn't know. I've never been 'married'. Who let you two get together, anyway?"

"Well, Gavin left his home after he evolved, and I followed him." Jill's voice was filled with dreaminess. "The way we Galvantula live is like one big family, not a bunch of smaller ones living in the same place, if that makes any sense. Gavin left because he was a grownup. In our home, when you become grown, you can die your legs however you want. Most of us don't do it, but Gavin got his dyed, red and black."

"Huh, that's interesting. I always thought that you were just discolored, Gav." Ryan nodded and shut his eyes. "But then, didn't you break the rules, Jill? You're not 10 yet."

"Nah, we're considered adults when we evolve, not when we get to a certain age. I was an early bloomer, so to speak. I just stayed really small."

It was so weird for Ryan to hear the two of them speak like he did. Those kids were certainly impressionable. They used phrases like "so to speak" and "if that makes any sense" just like he did, only after a year of living with him. Which reminded him...

"How did wild Pokemon like you two learn to speak? Like speak English." He asked. 'English' was the language most people spoke in the world and when some of them visited Earth and its human inhabitants, it spread to them, living among some of the other languages they had. The humans called it English, so Ryan's world adopted the term. Most people agreed that it made so much more sense to have a language with a name.

"The grownups taught it to us alongside our own language." Jill explained. "Isn't that how it goes for everyone? All species have their own set of languages that they understand, but then there's this English that everyone knows. It's so cool."

"Yeah, this world has always been very organized. Organization leads to progress." Ryan sighed. "And yet some things are slow, like the traffic of information from other planets. Did you know that humans have been developing English, adding new rules and whatnot to it, and have been calling it 'English' for at least 1,200 years? Seriously, I made the damn thing, I wasn't expecting life to grow on it, but how hard can it be to transfer information from Earth to here?"

"Beat's us, Ry." The two compound eyes on Gavin's eyes, rolled, the four simple eyes simply closed. "We're spiders n-not astronauts"

"Heh, right..."

The three of them sat under the pavilion in silence. Jill fell asleep, nestled deep in the hairs on Gavin's back. Gavin stayed awake, focusing his mind on getting used to the cold until he was finally able to stop chattering. Ryan patted his head as he felt him relax. "That-a-boy, Gav. See, I told you it wasn't hard."

"Yeah, well... Jill being here, calms me down." He said softly. "When she lies on my back, I feel the closest to her, literally."

"I get that, kinda." Ryan stood up and stretched. His arm extended into the open and he caught one of the falling pieces of hail to examine it. Boredom had stricken him.

"I gotta tell you something, too." Gavin said.

"Hmm?"

"I um..." Gavin's front legs shuffled slightly, making Jill stir on his back. "Me and Jill wanna go on a honeymoon, you know that thing that marred kids do."

"Cool, where do you wanna go?" Ryan asked. "There's a cave system back in the Metalia region that has a nice blue glow to it because of the strong electromagnetism and magnetite in it. The rocks float, even. I'm sure she'd like that."

Gavin took a short breath. "I know all about it, Ry. I don't just wanna go there with her for a little bit though." He looked at Ryan, who knelt down to be at eye level with him. "I wanna live there with her. Like forever."

"Say no more." Ryan held his up and reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a tiny small orb, clicked the round button on it, and it grew larger. A fist sized half blue, half white ball dotted with small gems: Gavin's Crystal ball. "There's no point in keeping this around when you're no one's Pokemon anymore, is there?"

"Actually, I wanted to have that." Gavin said. "You see, whenever I was inside of that thing, I was in some kind of world that reminded me so much of home. Also, it'll remind me of you, and how good you treated us. Even though I threatened to eat you when we met..."

"Haha, don't worry about it. Anyway, making you feel at home is what every type Pokeball does." Ryan juggled the ball as he spoke. "They create a virtually perfect environment for a Pokemon to reside in depending on the species. I think I read somewhere that it's a feature meant to ensure that someone can always be happy and comfortable when they're inside of a ball. Like, what if I caught you and just left your Ball at the bottom of an ocean?"

"I guess I'd still be safe inside."

"Exactly. Now if only we could figure out how to disable this thing. Wouldn't want someone using it to trap you."

A roar-like screech shook the ground, startling Gavin. Hail around us stopped falling, while everywhere else continued to be assaulted by the precipitation; something was blocking it. Emerald green light filled the white sky and a body of a man fell from the clouds back first. He slowed to a complete stop a few meters off of the ground and then hit the snow with a loud thump in front of us. Laughter was all that filled the air. "You really know how to be dramatic."

Emmett Weather sat up and shook his hair free of snow. "Not entrance, but having fun." He laughed. "I love when it snows, unlike you."

"Yeah, yeah. In the process you just about scared Gavin to death and woke up Ji-" Ryan looked back and was stunned to see Jill still in a deep sleep on Gavin's back. "Okay, never mind. By the way, you really need to teach me how to do that. I've only ever seen you do it and knew someone else who apparently could."

Standing up carefully, Emmett looked down and gazed at the snow angel he'd made while Ryan spoke. "Oh? Who?"

"Jake Woods." Ryan answered. "Never saw him do it, but Pan told me he could."

"Oooh, the Honchkrow that killed Jason's girl?" Emmett kicked snow back into the angle.

"Yeeup. He's dead as dirt now."

"Some could argue that dirt is a living thing, you know." Emmett randomly shot a look at Gavin and smiled.

"Once living, Em." Ryan corrected him.

"Hey, I'm not a biologist, you know..." Emmett's face was now awash with a sullen look.

"What's the matter?"

"N-nothing." Emmett needed to change the subject. "My ability is Airlock. It's pretty neat."

"Oh, I've heard of that. It prevents weather from affecting you." Ryan answered. "I that explains why you're out here in this mess. Unless you're training kids, too."

"Ha, I haven't been a trainer in a long time, man." Emmett said, almost too nervously. "It was... Difficult work for me."

"Whatever, you say, scary guy." Gavin sighed. "Can't you make this hail go away?"

"Dude, my name may be Weather, but not because I control it." Emmett looked up at the sky, the hail bouncing off of some invisible barrier looming over us. "It's rather ironic, really. I've never been pelted by hail, sleet, or rain. I've never actually felt the sun's rays, just heat coming up from the ground. That's why I love snow so much. It doesn't cause any special effects in a battle, so it isn't blocked by my Air Lock. I suppose I gave myself the name 'Weather' in the hopes that I might be able to form my own opinion about the other stuff. I use the fact that I'm working on the central business building to get out here and feel the snow when I'm flying. Not that anyone, complains; I'm the reason the building won't take 20 years to finish."

Quiet chuckles left Ryan's lips as Emmett arched a brow at him. "Whatever, just close your eyes, man." Ryan said. Emmett shrugged and obeyed; he felt Ryan grasp his shoulder. "Wait a bit..."

Emmett stayed still and then felt something hard his his head. "Ow!" His eyes flew open. "What the heck was that?"

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Ryan smirked. "That, my dear cousin, is why most people don't like hail."

"No way..." Emmett gasped and held his arms over his head, allowing them to take the brunt of the assault."

"Yep, I've got an ability too, you know it's called T-"

"Tera... Something, right?" Gavin interrupted.

"Teravolt, yes. It negates other abilities, like Mold Breaker, or Turboblaze, which is what Jason has."

"Dude, you're the coolest!" Emmett fell backwards into the snow and blocked his hand with his hands. "The way it falls is so methodical, so aggressive, and so random. How is something like this scientifically possible?"

"Hey, well, while you're freaking out, the negation doesn't last forever." Ryan patted Gavin's back. "You've got about 10 minutes. In the meantime, I want to head home. Think you're up to it, Gav?" Gavin nodded. "Alright then, let's head out. See ya 'round, Em."

----

The three of them reached the dead end street where Ryan's house lied on the left side in record time. Ryan joined Jill on top of Gavin's back since their strategy to stay warm left Jill exposed to the hail; Ryan stayed slightly hunched over to shield her until the pelting stopped. The light of dawn seemed brighter than it should have due to the snow, which was now just being thrown around by the wind. Gavin turned the corner to head down the street. Ryan observed the small damages caused by the weather: a few cracked windows and windshields, the occasional car sized mound of snow. But then he spotted something he wasn't expecting. A person, standing underneath an of a shop's roof. The flying snow made the person a bit hard to make out.

"Gav, you head on home. I'll be there soon."

"Mmkay, don't take too long, Ry." Ryan hopped off of his back and made his way towards the figure. As he got closer, he was able to see features better. It was a girl, about as tall as he was, with long pink hair that ended at her hips. She was clad in a pink parka and pink, tight fitting winter pants with red boots. All that along with flowing locks made her look like a walking rose. She noticed him and gave a shy smile.

"H-hello." She shivered.

"Hi." His delivery was so casual casual. "You shouldn't be out here in this mess, you know."

"Yeah, I know." She said, drearily. "I was working here when the snow started and I thought I could get home. Then the hail started when I stepped out, so I tried to get back in to wait it out, but somehow I locked myself out. And... And..."

"Relax, alright?" Ryan chuckled at the girl's bewildering speech. "I'm Ryan."

"S-Sylvie." She answered.

"Hmm, okay, Sylvie. The snow is picking up again, but I think that means it's no longer cold enough to hail anymore. Where do you live?"

"Um..." Sylvie sighed. "Screen street. You know, by the park?"

"Cool, I just came from the park." Ryan smiled. "Why don't I take you home?"

"Really?" Sylvie beamed, though she still shivered. "I don't want to keep you out here longer than you need to be."

Ryan nodded. "Well, I think I need to help you out, so that's something, right? Besides, I don't mind the cold one bit."


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Points: 5430
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Sun Sep 11, 2016 12:52 am
Gummy wrote a review...



To be honest, I never expected to find a Pokemon fanfic here that wasn't a total flop. I'm actually very picky about my Pokemon stories, since it has always been--and still is to date--the biggest of my guilty pleasures. Anyway, my name is Gummy, and I'm here to review your work! As custom dictates, I'll begin by pointing out the pros of this piece and proceed to take a look at the not-so-pro aspects, before finishing up with my final thoughts. With that said, let's get right into the review.

...This is a first. Not because it is my first time reviewing a Pokemon fanfiction, but because I haven't read either of the Seasons that precede this chapter. I figured that I don't need to clarify all those details if I could identify each of the Pokémon species mentioned in this story... On the flip side, I think I just spoiled myself the death of one of my most favorite Gym Leaders.

So, for starters, I noticed that you made the transition from writing entirely in first person to third. I remember making that decision years ago and I'm still mixing up my pronouns to date. Kudos for that. Grammar-wise, it's pretty much pristine. I read this story more than once over and found no grammatical errors at all. I love that.

I understand that this is the beginning of a new season, and you added a lot of exposition so as not to alienate newer readers like myself. However, I believe some parts of the initial exposition could be toned down a bit. Also, I feel like there are other issues regarding exposition, but I'll probably touch that up in a later review because I'm still unsure as to the relevance of these issues, since I haven't read anything before this.

Overall, this piece of art surpassed my expectations in pretty much every aspects, both as a fanfiction and as a Pokemon story. You can bet I'll be reading everything before this right after I'm done with this particular review. As stated before, I have been a huge Pokemon nerd for an uncountable amount of years, and I know it's not much coming from a regular user like myself, but this work has definitely earned my unofficial seal of approval. Keep on writing!

Gummy~
PS: I'm also crazy over the MegaMan Battle Network series. Who knew?




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Sat Sep 10, 2016 1:42 am
Mea wrote a review...



Hey, dark. Thought I'd drop by and review this, seeing as it's still in the Green Room.

So, not bad. I like the third person. I haven't read the ones that were in first person, but you seem to have made the transition fairly seamlessly.

Biggest critique I have for you today is that there's too much exposition in the beginning few paragraphs. It's great that Cristina is so dedicated to Jason, but as a reader I would care a lot more if you showed me all the things she does for him before launching into the explanation of Jason losing his first girlfriend. It's just too straightforward the way you write it - instead, sneak it in there bit by bit through his memories - maybe the way Cristina's hair moves when she bends over reminds him of her, or maybe there's something she says that makes him think of a time when they were all happy together. That's how you convey loss - through the little ways it affects a character's life.

As for other stuff, I liked how you explored the implications of Pokeballs and Pokemon being trapped inside them - I don't know much about Pokemon, but I've always thought that it would be something interesting to address.

"Dude, my name may be Weather, but not because I control it." Emmett looked up at the sky, the hail bouncing off of some invisible barrier looming over us.

One small holdover I noticed, I guess from changing it from first person to third person. Just change the "us" to a "them!"

And that's all I've got for you this time. Best of luck with future endeavors.




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Wed Aug 24, 2016 5:26 am
dark says...



Hmm, what have we here? An episode? NO WAY?!





It takes as much imagination to create debt as to create income.
— Leandro Orr